So Beautiful
by xNikkNaakks
Summary: "Girl, don't you know you're so beautiful. I wanna give all my love to you, girl. Not just tonight but the rest of your life; I wanna be always here by your side." Logan and Christina kept it together before, but can they do it again? LoganxOC - SEQUEL to You Just Need Me.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello Everyone! Since my workload has lessened a bit, I decided to start the sequel to You Just Need Me (If you haven't read it already, check it out on my profile). & Plus, I really missed writing. I still might be updating pretty slow until breaks roll around. **

**But anyways, Christina and Logan are back. (: Ouu, yay! Happy Reading.**

**Disclaimer: I dont own BTR.**

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><p>Christina fluttered her eyes open to the sun. She squinted at the brightness sinking into her room, but her frown quickly turned into a smile when she realized she was still in the same position as when she fell asleep - in Logan's arms, against his chest. She rose her head to give him a small peck under his chin and giggled as he started moving around.<p>

"Rise and shine." Christina softly whispered underneath his chin. Logan softly smiled, his eyes still closed.

"Mmmm."

"Come on. Get up. Today's the big day!" She exclaimed, roughly getting out of his grip and sitting criss-crossed. Logan sighed and turned his head to face her. His eyes slowly opened and she clapped her hands together in excitement.

"Babe, we're just going to pick the color scheme for our wedding and look at favors."

"So? That's one step closer to the wedding!" Logan smiled at his fiancee's excitement. She giggled as he rose his hand to caress her cheek. His finger fell beneath her chin to bring hers closer to his. He kissed her deeply and pulled away after a few seconds. Christina smiled and bit her lip. "I love waking up to that."

"I love waking up to you." Christina smiled once more, leaning over to plant a kiss on his forehead before getting up to head to the shower. "Where are you going?" Logan sat up confused.

"Heading to the shower." Christina said from the inside of her closet.

"But why? It's still early, babe." Logan looked at the clock sitting on her nightstand. _1030am. _Their appointment with the wedding planner wasnt until 130pm.

"No its not."

"Uh, yes it is. Come lay down with me for a little bit longer."

"Babe, I have to get in the shower."

"Our appointment is at 130."

"So? We can go out and have breakfast or something. Spend a little time together."

"We always spend time together." Christina stepped out of the closet with her clothes in one arm. Her eyebrow was raised as she looked at him. ".. Well, uh I mean-"

"Do you not wanna spend time with me?" Christina said in a pouty voice.

"Of course I do, baby."

"Alright, I'll be out in 15." She smiled happily, walking into the bathroom. Logan chuckled, shook his head and got up to get ready for his day. After stepping into some dark grey slim straight jeans, a vintage v-neck and a black jacket with his sleeves rolled up, he started to fluff his hair around in the mirror on the dresser. He turned as Christina stepped out in a USC Pullover, a white vneck underneath, leggings and uggs. She had on her glasses and her wet hair was braided neatly to the side. Logan smiled, admiring how simply his fiancee was & he _absolutely loved it._

"So, where do you wanna go my love?" Logan said standing outside of the closet, watching Christina fix her purse inside.

"Let's get some breakfast." She smiled up at him, walking towards him.

"Yeah, I'd like that." He smiled down at her. She tippy-toed to kiss him on the lips and she pulled away just inches from his face. He starred down into her eyes and to her lips. He brought his eyes back to hers. "I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too."

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><p><strong>So, what did you think?<strong>

**Reviews are much appreciated.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello everyone! I'm back with another chapter. Sorry its been awhile. I dont know how I feel about this chapter. It's one of those boring, filler chapters and I apologize.**

**Anyways, Happy Reading.**

**Disclaimer: I dont own BTR.**

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><p>"I'm so excited!" Christina clapped for joy as Janel, Felicia's wedding planner, set color schemes in front of the couple. Her eyes quickly scanned the colors as Logan smiled at her and back at Janel.<p>

"So, what are you feeling for right now, Christina?" Janel asked, her arms folded. Logan looked at his fiancee and smiled as he noticed her eyes lighting up.

"I really like this." She pointed to the pair. It was a deep teal and its contrasting color, "Pantone Quarry" with a hint of a coffee and nougat brown. Janel nodded and smiled.

"What about you, Logan?" Logan rose his eyebrow and chuckled as he threw a hand up, which landed right back on his leg.

"You know, whatever makes my fiancee happy, makes me happy." Christina put her hand on his thigh and kissed him on the cheek.

"Alright, well I guess we have the colors then. That makes us a step closer to the wedding." Janel collected the color schemes and put them in her file folder. As she was fiddling in her bag to get out samples of favors, Logan's phone rang.

"Who is it?" Christina looked at him. He rolled his eyes.

"Carlitos." She mouthed out an _"oh" _and nodded. "Hello?"

"Duuuude, are you busy right now? Well, no why am I asking you. You kind of have no choice. Gustavo wants us at the studio."

"Right now, right now?"

"Yes right now, right now. We're on our way over."

"But, I'm with the wedding plann-"

"I know, bro. But you know testing Gustavo is the last thing you ever want to do."

"Actually, I could handle that. Ditching Christina is the last thing I ever want to do."

"Loges, dont be hardheaded. I'm sure Stina will understand." Logan sighed heavily.

"Do you know what this meeting is gonna be about? Because if it's pointless I might have to just-"

"The new album." _Fuck. _Logan thought. He really wanted to be here with his fiancee but at the same time, he was just as passionate and excited as the others about the new album they were gonna start working on.

"Shit... Well, ugh. Damn. I guess I'll be there in a bit."

"Cool. See yaaa' later, brooooo." Carlos clicked. Logan looked at his phone and turned his head slowly back to his fiancee. She had her arms crossed.

"Baby, I'm sorry." Logan said quietly, his puppy dog eyes meeting hers. Christina couldnt be mad at him after that. Her face softened and she put her arms down. "I'll be out of the studio before it even gets dark." She sighed.

"Alright."

"You're not mad, are you?" She shook her head.

"No.. No. It's fine." Logan stood up and kissed her on the forehead.

"I love you."

"I love you too." Logan waved his goodbye to Janel and was off to the studio with a quickness.

"Dont look so down, Christina. Logan's really good about this whole wedding planning thing. At least he's willing to put as much time and effort into it as you are." Janel quietly put the favor samples onto the table.

"I know, I know. It's just that.. Gustavo has the guys and Rodney brainstorming on new projects and I feel like that's slowly gonna take over his time. I dont want this to be a one-sided thing. I want him to continue to put a lot of time and effort into it..."

"It'll be fine, trust me. By the way he looks at you and talks to you, I'm sure this means more to him than you think." Janel placed her hand on top of Christina's and smiled.

_**- Logan's POV -**_

I sped off to the studio, still feeling guilty about leaving Christina behind with Janel. I really wanted to be there with her. I really wanted to be with her every step of the way, to show her that this wedding means a lot to me, just as it does to her. But with this new album that Gustavo wants to get working on ASAP, I keep feeling like everthing's gonna be another rollercoaster. There's no doubt in my mind that this new album will have us working our asses from the crack of dawn 'till night.

I quickly parked my car in the parking lot and power-walked into Rocque Records. I made it up to the main floor and saw the guys chillin' on the couches.

"Shiiiiiiet, its about time." Kendall said standing up, signaling the others to stand up as well.

"Shut up. I was with the wedding planner and Christina."

"Oh. Right.." Kendall slowly nodded.

"Now, is the other dog finally here?" Gustavo said coming out of his office. His eyes softened when he realized I was standing right there, joined with the rest of the boys and Rodney. "Ahh, there's the other dog. Glad you made it. Thought you got lost for a minute."

"Yeah okay, uh, so how long is this gonna take?" I huffed and puffed.

"HEY. Did I say you could ask questions? It'll take as long as it needs to!" Gustavo yelled. I rolled my eyes and quietly followed behind everyone else. Jeez, I was not ready for some bullshit right now. The guilt from leaving Christina behind was still hitting me and Gustavo being all smartass was not something I wanted to deal with right now.

We sat in the meeting room discussing this new album we were gonna get started on. He kept going on and on about the songs he expected to record for it and how each of us were gonna have to help write some songs. Rodney was expected to be on a track and so was Sierra. Speaking of Sierra, I havent talked to her in awhile. We've gotten pretty close over the months and her and Christina get along perfectly.

_Now speaking of Christina, _I missed her already. I couldn't wait to come home to her. We've talked about me moving in, but I don't know. I really want to, but at the same time I'd rather save it for when we get married, you know? Something like those sappy, corny movies where they get married and find a huge, barbie doll house just for the couple. And then plan on making babies. Well, the baby part could be put to the side for now. I promised myself I'd get this girl whatever made her happy, even if it included the house of her choice. I'd say it's the good life.

"DOG. SNAP OUT OF IT." Gustavo said standing up and banging his hands on the desk in front of me. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, as Carlos laughed next to me.

"Hi, I'm Logan Mitchell and I looooooove me some Christina Vega. I'm so sprung over her that I cant even-" I hit him straight on the head. "OW! Loges, what was that for?"

"For being stupid." We both shook our heads and rolled our eyes. It definitely was gonna be a pretty long evening.

_**- Christina's POV -**_

After meeting with Janel, I decided to get some groceries in order to cook dinner for tonight. I made some pasta that me and Logan both enjoyed so much. Ohh, the joys of your mother's recipes.

I sat at the table, looking down at my empty plate and looking at Logan's clean plate. He still wasn't home.

**910pm**

_Have they really been in the studio that long? What if he lied and went out with someone else?_

Oh shut it, Christina. You guys are getting married for christ's sake.

But still, it was like one of those things in the movies where the couple is well on their way to marriage and the husband chooses that particular time to sneak around with other women. Those damn men and their needs.

_Shut up, Christina. _

I grabbed my phone and fiddled with it.

_Don't text him. He's in the studio, Christina. He'll be home soon. Don't doubt him._

I shook my head and got up to wash my plate. I didn't know why I still had trust issues. Well, not trust issues, but I was always worried he would be getting with something better than me. I guess it's a girl thing, but still. We're getting married, shouldn't that mean something? Shouldn't that stop me from worrying? I guess im just over thinking.

"Baby." I heard Logan quietly say as he closed my door. I continued to wash my plate when I felt arms wrap around my waist and his cheek rub against mine. "Hey beautiful." He whispered in my ear, making me smile. I quickly rinsed the soap off the plate, turned the water off and turned to face him.

"Hey." I looked into his eyes, his forehead touching mine.

"I'm sorry I came late. Gustavo had us planning so much and he made us listen to some potential tracks."

"It's fine hun." He smiled and leaned in to kiss my nose.

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"Guess what our new album's gonna be called." He squeezed my hands.

"Ouu, what?" I asked happily.

"Elevate." I squealed and threw my arms around him. The boys were working really hard and it's been amazing to see them grow.

"That's great babe, I'm so happy for you guys!" He smiled and I gave him a peck on the lips. He stared at me for awhile, caressing my cheek before kissing my forehead. "By the way, I made you some pasta. If you wanna take it home or something. You must be tired."

"Yeah, I'm really tired." He sighed.

"Wanna stay here?"

"Yeah I think I should. After I eat, I might knock out pretty quick."

"Alright babe." I left him to enjoy his pasta and to get ready for bed. By the time I was snuggled in bed with the TV turned on, Logan was already putting the plate away on the dish rack. He turned off all the lights in the living room, closed the door and got ready for bed. He slipped on some basketball shorts and a white tee before quietly slipping into bed. He slipped an arm around me, holding me tightly.

"Ready to go to sleep babe?" I looked down at him, his eyes closed.

"Mmmm.." I smiled and continued to watch tv as he slept quietly next to me. After a few minutes, I started to get drowsy myself. I turned the TV off and slowly slid down to get in a comfortable spot. His arm gripped tighter onto me.

"Night babe. I love you." He mumbled softly.

"I love you too."

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><p><strong>Reviews are VERY much appreciated.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone! I'm sorry it's been awhile! It seems like the work picked up a bit after Thanksgiving Break, but since it's finals week and a few days before Christmas Break, I think I'll have so much more time to work on this and It Girl. So do not fear!**

**Somewhat a filler chapter? Sorry. =/ I hope it doesnt bore you guys away. If you havent read It Girl, be sure to check it out. I'll be updating that soon as well.**

**Happy Reading.**

**Disclaimer: I dont own BTR.**

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><p><strong>- <strong>_**Christina's POV -**_

I woke up and found Logan nowhere to be found in bed. I sat up, squinted my eyes and looked around. The stuff he layed around the room was gone and the door was slightly cracked open. The living room was pure silence.

_I guess he left early. Maybe he didnt want to wake me up. Yeah, that's it. Dont think about anything else, Christina._

I shook my head and slapped my palm against my forehead. Wedding jitters. Is there such thing as post-dramatic stress before a wedding? Everything's getting to my head when it shouldnt be. Everything's _perfectly _fine.

Just then, Mochi's collar jingled, signaling that she was trotting into the room. She jumped onto the bed and snuggled in my arms.

"Aw Mochi." I kissed her head and petted it. "Did Daddy leave this morning?" She looked at me and barked. "Oh, okay." I smiled and brought her out of bed with me. I put her down on the floor in order for me to get ready and head for the shower.

After the shower, I threw on my uniform and grabbed my purse. I checked my phone for the first time that morning.

_**Morning sweetheart. I left early, I didnt want to wake you. You were sound asleep like a little baby. (= But text me when you can during your breaks, alright? I miss you already. I love you, soon to be Mrs. Mitchell. Don't you forget that.**_

I smiled and automatically felt better. Since i still had time, I decided I would head to Starbucks and grab myself the perfect morning drink, a venti white chocolate mocha.

The floor was the same as usual. Everyone doing their work and what not, visiting patients andd making them happy. I absolutely loved this job and I wouldnt trade it for anything in the world.

"Christina." Will said catching up to me. Things havent changed between me and Will. We were still good friends and he was slowly getting more comfortable with Logan and them. Logan tries, but you can tell he's still iffy about the whole situation that happened on New Years. He's like that, though.

"Whatsup?" I said going through a patient's file before entering her room.

"Nothin' really. Just finished doing a round. Hows the wedding planning going?"

"Good. I mean, this girl, Janel.. she does magic. I swear." I chuckled.

"Oh really now?"

"Yeup. She definitely knows what she's doing. So that makes it less stressful on me and Logan."

"That's good."

"Yeah. I absolutely love our color scheme."

"What is it?"

"Deep teal, its contrasting color, kind of like a coffee brown and nougat. I'm probably gonna make my bridesmaids wear the contrasting color. It's like a greyish blue. I don't know. I don't know how to explain it. But it's pretty."

"Sounds elegant. I like."

"Thanks, Will." I checked the time on my phone. It was time for my break after this patient's room. I signaled to Will that I was going in to check the patient and that I would be on break after.

As soon I was in the break room, I texted Logan. I missed him already. Was it bad that I was so attached to him? I cant stand not seeing him for awhile. But, you learn to deal.

_**Hey baaaaby, just got on break. I miss you so much. I might stop by the house after, so don't worry about driving to my place. It's about time I came to you. Alright, have fun in the studio. Don't work too hard. I love you honey.**_

After I sent it, I grabbed my small salad from the fridge. I started to eat when I felt my phone vibrate.

_**Ah God, it's so good to hear from you baby. I miss you too. & that sounds great, you're amazing. Gustavo's working us pretty hard already so, I cant promise you that. What I can promise is that I'll be all yours later. I have to go right now though, okay? I'll see you later. Love you.**_

I smiled. He was surely the amazing one between us. After all the fights and the stuff we've been through, I'm positive we're set. We never gave up on each other & the thing I love the most about Logan is he hasn't given up on me, no matter how complicated I can be. He definitely knows how to show his girl that.

I snapped out of this lovely daydream about Logan when my phone started buzzing like crazy, signaling a call. _**Felicia.**_

"Hello?"

"Yes! I knew you were on break."

"Uhm, okay Licia. What's wrong?"

"What? Nothing. Why do you say that? Cant I just talk to my little sister?" _She's lying. She kidnapped me from school! _I heard Amanda yell in the background. "Oh SHUTUP, you love me."

"Okay seriously, what's going on?"

"Ughhh GOD CHRISTINA. THIS BABY IS WEIGHIN' ME DOWN!" I laughed.

"Chill out Felicia, that baby is due to pop out any time soon."

"I KNOW. That's what kills me! I want it to be soon! I cant be harborin' this thaaang around! Mama tired!" I laughed even more. Felicia was too much sometimes.

"Omg you need to sleep. Have you eaten?"

"Yeah. Like the whole fridge."

"I don't know how Rodney does it." _I DON'T EITHER! _Amanda yelled in the background. Seriously, my sisters were too much, but hey, you gotta love them.

"Shutup!"

"Jeez. Well I have to get back on the floor soon. I'm gonna finish my salad and head off. Call me later?"

"Alrighh-OHHHH my god. This baby is a KIIIICKER." I laughed.

"Love you."

"Love you too, Stina." I hung up. I was excited for the baby to come. At least I'd have that baby to spoil until me and Logan were ready to have one. Speaking about kids, I don't even know when that would be. I'm sure he wants kids. But at the same time, he's a busy celebrity. I don't think he has time for that. And I don't wanna end up like those mothers who have to do everything on their own because their husbands are too busy. I want him to be there for his child. Not saying he wont, But its probably too much for him.

_Sheesh. I think too much._

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><p>As soon as my shift was over, it was about 830 pm. Today was a pretty long day. And what sucks is that the text I got from Logan during break, was the only text I got from him today. I sighed. I wasn't sure If I should text him first or not. But then again, I'd rather have us equally be there for each other .. not one person doing more than the other. After ordering my burrito at Chipotle, I decided to send him a text as I sat in the car.<p>

_**Hey babe, haven't heard from you all day. ): But I know you're busy, so I understand. Are you going to stop by later? Love you.**_

I waited for a bit. Nothing. I frowned as I started the car and made my way home. As soon as I got home, I washed up and ate in front of the TV with Mochi sitting next to me. Still nothing. How much work was Gustavo having them do? Around this time, too? Not cool.. I just want my fiancee back_. Its starting to look a bit fuzzy from here_..

_**Babe, I'm sorry. I've been busy. I just got off. Uhhh, I'm really tired. )= I don't think I'm coming by tonight. I'm really sorry. I'll make it up to you, alright?**_

No lie, my heart sank. I kind of just wanted to cuddle with him after a long day for both of us. A tear fell from my eye. I quickly wiped it and responded.

_**It's fine, I understand. You don't have to make it up to me. Get a good night sleep though okay?**_

He didn't respond for awhile. He felt bad. I knew he did.

_**Alright… Fuck, I'm really sorry babe. I don't want you to go to bed upset..**_

I was upset. But I wasn't gonna blame him. He wasn't doing it on purpose.. Right?

_**It's fine, hun. Really.**_

I got ready for bed after throwing my phone on the pillow. I made sure every light was off and watched some tv until we were done texting.

_**I'll call you.**_

I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone right now. Not even him..

_**Buzzzz.**_

"Hello?" I answered softly.

"Hey cutie." His voice sounded raspy. You could tell he was beyond tired. I automatically felt bad. But I still wasn't in the mood to talk.

"Hey."

"I'm sorry, okay? I'll make it up to you, regardless of what you say." He almost said to a whisper. I didn't respond. "Alright? I promise."

"Okay." I said softly. It was quiet for a bit. "Go to sleep."

"Okay. I just wanted to hear your voice for a little."' A small smirk came across my lips for a few seconds. "Goodnight beautiful. I love you so much."

"Goodnight, I love you too."

_**Click.**_

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><p>It's been a week or so. The connection between me and Logan was decreasing. We went from to a text to wishing on your luck for receiving at least a text from him. He hasn't been over since that day he said he couldn't come over. I wanted to fall apart. I was afraid of this coming. I knew it would come too. <em>He would be too busy and this would all fall apart. <em>But he wouldn't just give up on me. He couldn't. Then again, I was starting to shake my head at everything. I felt alone. I knew it wasn't his fault, but I was alone. I barely had him. And all I wanted was to be with him for at least a bit.

I was looking through a patient's folder when I heard rushing behind me. I turned with my eyebrow raised.

"Licia? Rodney?"

"IT'S TIME!" Rodney yelled as they rushed her into the room. Amanda grabbed onto my arm and lead me into the room.

_The baby was coming._

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><p><strong>Reviews are much appreciated!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone! I'm back with another chapter. A filler chapter though, because I'm not too sure if I want to rush into the drama all too quickly. It'll get there though, as you can tell in this chapter. I hope I get more reviews for this story! It gives me more motivation. (: So pretty please?**

**Check out It Girl if you havent done so already. Btw, I'm thinking about starting another Logan fanfic? The story would be based on events that have happened in real life though. Kind of. More dramatic, maybe. Let me know how you feel about that?**

**Happy Reading.**

**Disclaimer: I dont own BTR.**

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><p><em><strong>- Christina's POV -<strong>_

"Push, baby, push." Rodney said in a calm tone next to Felicia's ear. He stroked his hand down her hair and continued to try and keep her calm.

"I'M PUUUUUUUSHING! GAAAAHD RODNEY." She squeezed the life out of his hand.

"Okay, okay baby. Alright. You're doing fine." What can you say? His wife was going through hell, he couldnt help but stay calm for her.

"Licia you're almost there. Keep pushing." I said taking a peek at the action taking place. The head was almost completely out. If she just gave one more huge push, the baby would be out. I smiled at her and continued to tell her to push. She took one deep breath and pushed with everything she had.

"JESUS!" She said as the baby started to cry. Amanda and I were in tears of joy after, eyeing the precious baby boy that was now being cleaned up. Sooner or later, he was resting in the arms of his mother while Rodney was whispering to his baby boy in admiration. I walked over and gently asked if I could carry him. Licia smiled at me and I took him from her arms.

"_**Nicolas Jay Manalo.**_" I whispered stroking his cheek and slowly rocking him back and forth. He was sound asleep. _Baby Nico. _I smiled. This baby was definitely gonna be spoiled by his aunties.

"Hello?" Amanda answered her phone next to me. "Yeah, the baby's here. What do you mean how, do you really want me to tell you how Carlitos? Okay then. Alright, sounds cool. K, bye."

"Carlos?" I asked, still rocking the baby back and forth.

"Yeah. I told him the baby was here and he really asked how." She shook her head. "Anyways, they'll be here in a bit." I nodded. _Butterflies. _I havent seen Logan in what seemed like forever. We've talked but we were so used to seeing each other so much that after he got so busy, I felt distant. He wasnt doing it on purpose, but eh. What can you do? My fiancee's a popstar.

I sat on a chair next to Licia's bed after returning baby Nico to his mother.

"You should go home, Stina. I know your shift was about to end, you didnt have to stay." I guess I was completely dozing off.

"What? No, I'm fine. I wanted to be here. Dont worry about me."

"Are you sure? I mean we're probably still gonna be here until your next shift."

"Yeah I'm sure. I'll probably call in or something. It's fine. I promise." Licia looked worried but I was fine. Family was important right now. I wanted to celebrate this moment and I could care less about sleep.

After a few minutes of showering the baby with attention, I heard the familiar voices walking down the hall towards the room.

"Licia!" Carlos yelled out with his arms open. He was the first one through the door, followed by Kendall, James and then Logan. They first approached Licia and Rodney to congratulate them, then they started looking at the baby and commenting on how cute he was. I stood on the other side of Licia's bed watching it all happen when Logan took his eyes off of the baby and towards me. He looked kind of worried. He slowly walked over to me, everyone in the room too busy with the baby, and pulled me into his arms.

"Hey baby." He whispered into my ear, his cheek pressed against the side of my face. He planted a kiss on my temple before slightly pulling away and looking at me.

"Hey." I gave him a small smile. He put a falling strand of hair behind my ear and started stroking my cheek with his thumb.

"Are you alright?"

"What do you mean?"

"You look beyoond tired." He said in a worried tone.

"I'm fine." He stared at me and sighed.

"Alright. I'm sorry I've been so busy."

"Don't apologize, really. I understand."

"Yeah, but I wanna have time with you. As much time as I want. I don't wanna keep getting bossed around by Gustavo." He rolled his eyes. "I just want my fiancee."

"Well, she's right here. And she's not going anywhere." It was hard to be mad at someone like Logan. He had the charm and the attitude that made you want to just pinch his cheeks or something. He was too sweet. But as I looked at him, I could tell he was guilty. He didn't like this situation. At all.

"I don't know. I don't like being away from you like this. I feel like its pushing us apart." I sighed.

"Dont worry about it. Let's just talk about it later okay?" He was filled with more worry. We did need to talk about where we were, though. Just to clear everything up. We were fine. I knew deep down inside we were. _I think? _I don't even know.

"Okay." He sighed again. We held hands and walked over to the group that was still looking at Nico. The baby was asleep but that didn't keep people away from him at all.

_**- Logan's POV -**_

By the time everyone was done taking turns and showering Nico with attention, I realized that Christina had been gone for awhile. She said she was going to the bathroom.

_**318am.**_

Shit, have we really been here for that long? Well damn.

"Hey, are you ready to go?" Kendall asked, coming up next to me. I was pulled out of my thoughts. What was I thinking about again?

_Oh yeah, where Christina is._

"Uh, yeah, just let me go find Christina." He nodded.

I walked outside and looked through most rooms to see if she was talking to someone on the floor or if she was just doing a random visit to patients' rooms – Christina would do that type of thing. Which was beyond cute. But anyways, I walked into the lounge/waiting area and saw her asleep on a chair. Her legs pulled up and her arms crossed. She looked peaceful. I smiled to myself and walked over to her. I reached into her bag and grabbed her keys. There was no way in hell I was gonna let her drive home by herself. I picked her up in my arms and threw her bag over my shoulder. Kendall was the first one to leave the room and saw me carrying Christina. His expression had worried written all over it.

"Don't worry, she's just asleep. She's been really tired lately." Kendall nodded in relief. "I'm gonna take her home. I might just stay at her place. So, I'll hit you up later or something."

"Alright man, be safe." I nodded and made my way to the elevator and to the parking garage. As soon as I spotted her car, I unlocked it and struggled to open the passenger's door. This girl wasn't heavy at all but she looked so peaceful that I kind of wanted to get her home in one peace. Without any disturbance. I leaned into the car to sit her on the passenger's seat and she started to wiggle around.

"It's fine baby, keep sleeping. I'm taking you home." I whispered. I wasn't sure if she heard me, but she stopped squirming as soon as I got into the driver's seat. I was getting tired myself, and I honestly couldn't wait to sleep with her in my arms again. It felt like it's been forever.

I knew it wasn't my fault that I was so busy. It was just wrong-timing that Gustavo wanted to work on Elevate during the time Christina and I were just getting right into our wedding plans. I felt bad. Guilty. I felt like the time that Gustavo takes from me is valuable time I could be spending with her. It's slowly pushing us apart. I know it. Christina's just always positive about everything. To be honest, it was _**starting **_**t**o feel distant. This relationship. But hey, God doesn't put you through anything you cant handle right? I want this album to be a success. I want this wedding to go perfectly. I want all of this to happen, even if I have to bust my ass making it happen. It's all worth it.

I just hope Christina doesn't change.

She wouldn't. She wouldn't give us up, I know her. She knew better than that. We were more mature than we first started off. I knew damn well I was set with her; there was nobody else I could see myself with and that's exactly why I'm marrying this girl and damn proud of it.

Fuck, I wouldn't know what I would do if she gave us up though. **That girl is everything to me.**

_Even when the sky comes falling  
>Even when the sun don't shine<br>I got faith in you and I  
>So put your pretty little hand in mine<br>Even when we're down to the wire babe  
>Even when it's do or die<br>We can do it baby simple and plain  
>Cause This Love Is a Sure Thing<em>

_**You could bet that  
>Never got to sweat that<strong>_

I shook my head and turned the engine off. I got out from the driver's seat and went around to get Christina out of the car. It took me awhile to find a comfortable position for the both of us, but by the time that was figured out, I locked the car and we were on our way upstairs. I stopped in front of her door and held my knee up to help support her while I was opening the door. As I entered, I kicked the door close and headed straight to the bedroom with Mochi trotting behind me. I gently laid her on the bed and pullled the covers over her. Just as I was going into her closet to grab some of my clothes, she started to move. A lot. She was probably waking up. She started to whimper as she stretched. I smiled as I changed into comfier clothes and made my way to the bed. She looked over at me, her eyes barely open.

"Babe?" I chuckled quietly.

"Go back to sleep."

"Mm, okay." She took off the top to her uniform and threw it to the floor, revealing a white tanktop. She took off her bottoms and threw them to the floor as well, leaving her in an all black lace victoria secret hip hugger. My eyes widened. She was flawless. She turned to her side and scooted backwards, getting closer to me. I scooted up and put my arm around her, my hands rubbing her thigh and up to her stomach.

"Babe." She said softly.

"Hm?"

"Are we gonna be okay?" She turned towards me, still wrapped underneath my arm. She was half asleep. But still conscious of what she was talking about. I cant believe she just asked if we were going to be okay though.

_Was it that serious?_

"Of course we are."

"I just don't like feeling distant from you. I don't want it to get in the way of our wedding." She said with her eyes closed.

"It wont." She stayed silent. "Just go to sleep baby, don't worry about it." She was already asleep. Again.

I closed my eyes and had a stronger grip on her. _I still cant believe she asked that question. Like it was really seriously affecting our relationship. _Was it really? Am I oblivious to something? It started to worry me. To the point where I couldn't sleep; there was just too many thoughts going on in my head. I can tell she was feeling distant. I was starting to feel it to. You know, where couples are kind of getting to the point where there's nothing else to say?

Wait what the fuck, no its not that bad. It's just slowly simmering the fire between us.

Fuck being so busy. I just wanted to focus on her and only her. I couldn't even do that now. Call me selfish.

I hope I'm not in denial about anything. This is all true, right?

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><p><strong>An excerpt from Sure Thing - Miguel.<strong>

**Reviews are much appreciated. Seriously. I would love to get more reviewers!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! So this is probably another filler chapter. But I promise you, after this, the drama will start to come. **

**Thanks for the reviews/alerts! Keep 'em coming. (: My motivation, seriously!**

**Happy reading.**

**Disclaimer: I dont own BTR.**

* * *

><p><strong>-<strong>_** Christina's POV -**_

"I feel like changing my colors." I said sitting in my bed, fiddling with a strand of my hair.

"Why?" Felicia asked. "Your colors are fine."

"I feel like its too busy. And like.. dark. I've wanted like a coral pink before."

"Then why did you pick the navy or whatever?"

"I dont know. It looked pretty on the card. She made it seem like it was those choices or nothing"

"Well arent you meeting with Janel today since you took the day off? Just tell her what YOU want. It's your wedding and she cant object to it."

"Ugh I dont know. Sorry. I'm just so new to this stuff. I dont know how these things work. It's so overwhelming."

"No babygirl, I understand. I was in your position before." I stayed quiet and continued to fiddle with a strand of my hair, occasionally looking up at the tv. "Is Logan coming?"

"Uhm, I texted him earlier and told him about it. He said alright, so I'm pretty sure he is."

"Hm. That's good. How's the whole thing with Logan though?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know.. him being busy with the new album and stuff."

"Oh. Eh. I dont know. I'm just hangin' on. Being the understanding fiancee I am." Felicia chuckled. I mean, there is no other way to handle this. I just have to be mature and understand what he's going through. _Goodjob, Christina. _I stayed quiet until I heard baby Nico crying in the background and Felicia struggling to calm him down.

"Well, Nico's up. I'm gonna have to call you later, alright doll?"

"Okaaay."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

_**Click.**_

I've been in bed all day & I figured it was time to get up to get ready and meet up with Janel. I was hoping Logan wouldn't forget, being caught up in the studio and everything. But I wasnt gonna worry about that. I threw on some dark denim skinny jeans, an oatmeal longsleeve off the shoulder v-neck sweater and black pumps. I ruffled my hair a bit, and added a bit of lipgloss to my lips before heading out.

We decided to meet at Starbucks for a casual meeting, which was good because I was really in the mood for some. After getting our drinks, we settled at a table. I told her about the color change and she totally agreed with it. We started looking at pictures of favors she narrowed the choices down to. I occasionally looked at the time, _still no Logan. _We started talking about centerpieces and how we both agreed warm/summer colored flowers would be really cute. I told her I would leave the flower choices up to her and that I trusted her taste. Our meeting was slowly coming to an end & there was s_till no Logan. _

"Oh, was Logan busy today?"

"Uh, apparently. Yeah." I looked down and traced the rim of the lid.

"Are you two okay?" She asked worriedly.

"Yeah we're fine. He's just busy with the new album." She nodded.

"Aw, alright. Well. I guess we covered a lot today. We wont have much to do from here. I'll give you a call if anything."

"Sounds good." We both got up and hugged before we departed. On my way to the car, I decided to give Logan a call. No answer. "Whatever." I mumbled. I tried being good about it but now it was becoming too much to handle. I was slowly getting fed up. The wedding was a couple months away and well, it was gonna come sooner or later. And if I had to plan the rest of my wedding by myself, _might as well not have one._

I looked at the time and realized Amanda would be getting out of school soon. I decided to go pick her up so she didn't have to tag along with her carpool. I took a parking spot right by the front entrance of her school so she would see me right away. I listened to the bell ring and watched for her to come outside. She came about 5 minutes later, with some boy. He looked pretty cute. Kind of reminded me of Logan with his dark, somewhat spiked hair. They were smiling at each other, which made me smile. But he looked like a jock. Kind of iffy, but whatever. _I was definitely gonna get the scoop on that. _She nodded and they hugged goodbye. I honked the horn to make sure she saw and she smiled making her way over to me.

"This is new." She said throwing her bag into the backseat.

"Yeah yeah. Took the day off and I just finished meeting up with Janel.

"How was that?"

"Eh. I'll tell you later. Do you wanna go eat?"

"Sure." She said looking down at her phone, fiercely typing a text away and smiling. I rolled my eyes and smiled.

"What do you wanna eat?"

"I want japanese food."

"Alright." I took the route that would lead us to Spiral. The rest of the ride was silent until we arrived. Once we were situated in the restaurant, waiting for our bento boxes to arrive, she asked about Logan.

"Was Logan there today?"

"No." I rolled my eyes. It frustrated me every time I thought about it.

"What? That's weird. Is he that caught up with the new album?"

"I guess. I just.. don't know anymore. It's slowly frustrating me. If I have to plan the rest of the wedding by myself, we might as well not have one. God, I still have to look for dresses for the bridesmaids."

"Christina don't even say that."

"What. Im so serious."

"No you're not. You're just frustrated. I understand where you're coming from but I mean, you can't really blame him. It's not his fault."

"Ugh I know."

"If you want I can come with you to look for dresses after this."

"Do you have homework?"

"Just finish a Physics worksheet. Thank god for block schedule." I chuckled.

"Well alright. I'd love that."

"Cool beans. Did you find your dress?"

"Actually, yeah. I was looking online and I sent Janel pictures of the actual wedding dress I wanted and the dress I wanted to wear for the reception."

"Nice. What'd she say?"

"She said she'd get on it and find the dress. I havent heard about it yet."

"I'm sure you'll get it." I nodded. Our food came and we started to dig in before we picked up our conversation again.

"Hey 'Manda?"

"Whatsup?"

"Who was that guy you were all smiley with coming out of school?"

"Oh.." She smiled down at her food. "That's Cameron."

"Is he a senior too?"

"Yep. He definitely grew up over the summer. Hella girls were on him but I don't know why. For some reason he wanted to get at me."

"For some reason. You're just awfully pretty." We laughed. "How long have you been talking to the dude?"

"Uh, for awhile. A month or so."

"And you never told me?"

"Well, I didn't think our 'thing' would last this long." I nodded. _High school relationships. _"He keeps talking about prom. I'm not sure if he's hinting anything."

"I'm pretty sure he is Amanda. No one talks about prom out of nowhere. When's prom?"

"Like, in a couple of weeks. Like two or three. I don't know, but its really close."

"Do you have a dress?"

"I'm not sure I'm even gonna get asked!"

"Bullshit. He'll ask. Tell me when he does so we can find you a dress."

"Okay." She smiled. But it quickly faded. "But two weeks after prom is graduation and I doubt we'd still be having our thing over summer."

"Oh god. Graduation. I really don't wanna think about you going off to college right now."

"Duude, you act like I'm going somewhere far. I'll be at UCLA." I shrugged. She's right. I was being a bit dramatic.

"Where's Cameron going?"

".. UCLA."

"Then? Why are you complaining?"

"Things change before and during college, Christina. I'm sure you know that." I nodded. "I just really like the guy." I smiled. _She really did like him, I could tell._

"He's a nice guy right?" She nodded and smiled. "Alright. Just making sure. Be careful."

"I know, I know." She said in an obvious tone.

We continued to talk until we finished our food. After, we headed to Felicia's, deciding I would look for dresses online at the same website I found my dresses at first. I got distracted, playing around with the baby and carrying him when my phone rang.

_**Logan.**_

"Uh, hold on." I said handing Nico to Amanda. I walked outside to their balcony and answered his call.

"Baby I'm really sorry!" I rolled my eyes.

"Logan we had a meeting earlier and you said you would be there."

"I know, I know. I messed up. I'll make it up to you."

"How? Logan, this is our wedding. You can't just put rainchecks on everything."

"I'm not Christina! You know I'm not doing this on purpose."

"I know, but don't tell me you'll show up and end up not coming."

"Okay, I said I was sorry."

"I feel like I'm the only one into this whole wedding."

"Are you kidding me? If I wasn't so busy with the album, I'd be with you every step of the way."

"If I have to plan the wedding by myself then maybe we shouldn't—"

"You cant be serious. Don't even say that. You're acting dumb right now Christina."

"Me, acting dumb?"

"Yes! I already told you it wasn't my fault. Don't overthink this. Cant you just understand, I'll be able to plan the wedding just not right now. I'm doing this album & I'm trying to do my part so I can plan this wedding with you."

"Whatever. I'll talk to you later."

"Are you really upset right now?"

"Logan, I said I'd talk to you later." He groaned.

"Whatever."

_**Click.**_

As soon as we got off the phone, I cried. This was so frustrating. I probably over-reacted but you know, it was difficult not having Logan there all of a sudden. _I just didn't know what to do. _

That night when I got home, me and Logan havent talked. No text. No call. Nothing. We were both frustrated and there was no covering up about it. I continued to tear up as I sat in my bed with Mochi._We were slipping and we were slipping fast._

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><p><strong>Wonder if you caught some hints in this chapter. (; Whaat's gonna happen next?<strong>

**Reviews are much appreciated! Pleaase!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello everyone! Back with another chapter. (: & As I promised, the drama has heated up. BUUUT it's only the beginning of it all. Thanks for the reviews & alerts! I wouuuld appreciate more!**

**Check out It Girl!**

**Happy Reading.**

**Disclaimer: I dont own BTR.**

* * *

><p>"Why cant you just pick one!"<p>

"I told you it doesnt matter! Whatever you want I'm fine with it."

"God, Logan. You're so indifferent about everything!" Christina said walking out of Logan's room. He followed behind her, frustrated as well.

"Indifferent? Christina you cant call me indifferent just because I'm fine with-"

"You cant even help me pick out the favors! How is that not indifferent!" She quickly went down the stairs.

"Oh my god." He mumbled underneath his breath. "You want me to pick a favor? Alright I'll pick it."

"No, forget it. Whatever. It's obvious you're not into this whole thing." She glared at him from the bottom of the stairs. Logan's eyes widened and he slowly went down the stairs.

"You're turning this problem into something big when you don't need to."

"I'm done here Logan! I'm done."

"Jesus Christ! Christina stop being so dramatic!"

"Dramatic? I just need you to do one thing and you cant even do that."

"I said I'd do it!"

"Whatever." She mumbled and waved him off as she left the house.

"Woah, what was that about?" Kendall said coming out of the kitchen.

"I don't even know anymore." Logan shook his head and walked back into his room.

_**- Logan's POV -**_

Honestly, I had no idea what was going on between me and Christina anymore. She was always mad. Frustrated. Annoyed. Irritated. All of the above. I knew it had to do with me and the new album and I couldn't blame her. I would feel the same way too. I just expected her to understand more, especially her being my fiancee. I've told her multiple times that I wasn't doing this on purpose. She would get over it but after a couple of minutes, she would return to her old ways – giving me attitude.

As much as I don't wanna say it, I'm getting tired just as she is. All I get from her is attitude nowadays. _I just wanna go back to the way things were before our engagement got fucked up._

On the other hand, besides all the favor picking, sending out invitations and fittings, the past few weeks have been hard but successful. It's been fast, but in a couple of weeks we would be sending out our first hit single off the new album. Which song that was? I wasn't sure. But this album was way different than our first.

On the one day I was free, Christina decided to storm off on me. I didn't wanna deal with all that right now, so I decided to call up Sierra to ask if she wanted to go eat. Sierra became a good friend of ours, specifically a close friend of mine since the guys and I were around her a lot. I vented to her whenever I needed to and she was always there to listen and give me advice.

"Yelllllo?" I rolled my eyes and smiled. She was like a kid, but it was good to have such a positive attitude around whenever things werent right.

"Sierra, are you busy?"

"Nope, actually just cruising around to find something to do."

"Wanna go eat at The Counter?"

"Sure."

"I'll be there in like 15 minutes."

"Cool. See ya' then." With that, I decided to throw on some jeans and leave on my white tee. I threw on a hat and laced up my shoes before heading out the door – yelling out to the guys that I was going out to eat with her. I got in the car and drove off to my destination, thinking about everything going on. We were only engaged for so long and everything seemed to be going downhill. _**Quick, too. **_I was tired of her being this way. She couldn't at least be one bit happy for me and I didn't know how to take that. Everything was revolving around her and this wedding_. I wasn't too sure if that's how I wanted to picture it.._

Once I got to The Counter, I sat in the car and texted Sierra to see if she was here. By the time I got my phone out, someone knocked on my window. It startled me a bit but I calmed down realizing it was Sierra. I got out the car and gave her a bear hug before we walked in and took our seats.

"What brings you here today?" I looked down the list of ingredients and checked off what I wanted on my burger.

"I don't know. Me and Christina, man.." She checked off her ingredients and observed the rest of the list.

"What's happening?"

"I feel like we've gotten worse. Nothing but fighting nowadays. Im sick of it." She looked up at me and shook her head.

"Logaaaan, you cant say that."

"I know. It sucks to say it, but Im seriously tired of just fighting with her. Like, this isnt like Christina. You know that. She's always positive and doesn't hold grudges for long. I don't know why me working on the album makes her wanna hold a grudge against me forever."

"Well, I mean. You kind of have to see where she's coming from. She's basically planning the wedding hoping you'd be there to share the experience with her. But most of the time you cant cause Gustavo has you working pretty hard."

"Yeah I know, but I mean.. She couldn't be at least one bit happy that we're working on a great album? I've told her I wasn't trying to be busy on purpose. It's just part of being in the business." Sierra nodded. "She cant even be glad about that. She's just becoming too selfish. It's all about her and the wedding & I'm not sure I wanna picture it that way."

"What do you mean?"

"I want this to be a good experience.. I want to be our wedding. I don't want her to hold all of this against me while we plan this. I don't wanna look back at it and have to shake my head at everything that happened."

"I understand.."

"I wish I could've waited. Or I wish I knew I would be this busy. That way I wouldn't have asked her to marry me until after all the hard work was done."

"You cant take it back now Logan, I mean.. You kind ofj ust have to try and be there as much as you can." I shook my head.

"I've been trying, dude. I've beeen. You have no idea. She just isnt happy at all. I don't know what to do. Im slowly becoming tired of it all.."

"Don't give up on her Loges."

"I.. I wont." We stayed silent. "I hope I wont." She couldn't help but give me a sympathetic look because she knew not everything was perfect. Not everything could be determined for the future.

"You guys are too good for this."

"If only she would realize that. She's holding it against me so much that it's starting to make me.. _**not want it.**_" She sighed.

"Man, Loges. I don't know. I didn't think it was this.. chaotic."

"Yeahh.."

"Well, do you still love her?"

"Of course I do. I'll always love that girl. But… all of this is too much. I kind of don't wanna put her through it if it's just gonna become a negative…memory to her or something."

"You know. If you really love her. You'll know what's best."

_**- Christina's POV -**_

"Apparently he's eating with Sierra right now." I picked at my food, while sitting across from Rodney and Amanda at Rodney and Felicia's house. Felicia was taking a nap with the baby in their room.

"Hey hey hey. Don't worry sis, she's a chill girl, you know that. She would never cause harm to your relationship." Rodney replied.

"I know, I know."

"I mean aren't you guys good friends anyways?" Amanda asked.

"Yeah. But its not even that. It's funny how he could make time for her but not me and this wedding." Amanda rolled her eyes and Rodney chuckled.

"Chillll. It's nothing you should be worried about." Rodney added, cleaning off his plate.

"Then why cant he just give me the time of day and help me with a few of the wedding plans without being so indifferent, Rodney?"

"You need to be easy on him Stina. It's probably because you're always nagging at him to do stuff. He'll come to it eventually. Logan loves you, he's not gonna just leave everything up to you. He wants to be a part of this, that's part of the reason why he asked you to marry him. He wants everything to be mutual within the relationship. As corny as it sounds, it's true. You guys are one now."

"Ugh I don't know."

"You need to relax. Go get some mani's and pedi's or something with Amanda. Get a massage. Something. You're stressin' about too much."

"Yeah." Amanda nodded. "I need to get my nails done next Thursday because prom's on Friday." I smiled. Her and Cameron were really cute, judging by what she has told me. They kind of reminded me of how me and Logan first started off.

"Oh yeah I heard that one dude asked you. How'd he do it?"

"Uh.." She blushed down at her plate. "I guess he talked to Mom and Dad because I got home and I had to park on the street cos there was like a brick with balloons tied to it and a letter underneath. And like the letter told me to count to ten and I did, and when I opened my eyes, the garage was open and he was standing there all dressed with balloons everywhere and a bouquet of roses in his hand."

"Aw. That's so cuuuute. Gets me everytime." I said while Rodney laughed.

"Our little Amanda growing up." I nodded in agreement.

Later that night, I decided to finally make my way home. On my way home, Logan texted me. We havent texted all day, mind you.

_**Hey, can I come over?**_

_**Yeah. Just making my way home. I should be there in 5.**_

_**Cool, I'll see you later.**_

It was weird. I didn't wanna deal with Logan right now. Everything was just a mess. The wedding was coming up fast and honestly, it didn't feel like anything special everytime I thought about it. There was more cons to this whole process than pros.

When I got home, I threw on an old shirt and shorts and started snacking on Munchies while watching tv with Mochi. Sooner or later, Logan walked in and Mochi ran over to greet him. He scooped her up and started babying her on his way to the couch. He sat next to me and had his arm on the couch behind me.

"Whaat's up?" I asked, not taking my eyes off of the tv.

"Nothing, just wanted to come visit you."

"Oh." I said sarcastically. "AFTER you spend so much time with Sierra."

"Christinaaa, really? Don't even start." I rolled my eyes and continued to eat my chips. "Honestly, what's going on? Are you mad at me?"

"Logan, how can I not be mad at you? You havent been helping me do anything with the wedding and now you're over here spending time with Sierra."

"Oh my god, to have lunch and talk about us! You're seriously holding a grudge against me for working on a new album? I mean you cant make me choose because I'm trying to give equal attention to both."

"Obviously you're not. & Seriously, you cant even talk to me about the problems you're having with me?"

"So you cant even be at least one bit happy about our new album? The fact that I'm not trying to avoid you and this wedding at all? & Christina, I have no problem with you. It's you who has the problem with me."

"Really now?" I looked at him and put down the chips.

"Yes really. All you do is give me attitude. Nothing's ever positive to you anymore. All you wanna do is get on me for stupid shit. I'm sorry I cant be perfect for you."

"Wow! Is that how you really look at this? Im sorry I'm planning our wedding by myself."

"Here you go again. We're literally not going anywhere. We're just going in a circle."

"Because you'll never understand." I mumbled.

"I guess so." I could tell he was heated as well.

"Maybe we shouldn't even do this anymore. If this is all it comes down to." He shook his head.

"Whatever. Maybe we shouldn't. Since I never understand you and I don't do anything." He stood up.

"Have fun with Sierra." _Okay, maybe a bit too far. _But when you're mad, you say almost anything without thinking.

"You're ridiculous. You're turning one small problem into something huge. & you know, since you told me to. Maybe I will. Since Sierra's so much more understanding than you are. I don't even know what made you such a bitch."

"Yeah, you need to leave." He was close to go through the door when I realized I still had the ring on my finger. "Oh, and take this." I said walking up to him and dropping the finger in the palm of his hand. "Since I don't need it."

With that, he left.

_With that, everything was over. Like it was one point in our lives. _

_**The faster we reached the top, the quicker we rode downhill.**_

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><p><em><em>**Hmm, what's next for Logan and Christina?**

**Review are much appreciated!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys! I hope you had a very Merry Christmas! I also wish you guys a Happy New Year, since im not too sure if I'll be updating either this or It Girl before New Years. (: Well the drama unravels in this chapter. More to come!**

**Thanks for the love you guys show this story & It Girl, by the way. I appreciate it soooo much. (: & izzydot, no fear, you made that comment in time because the guys will be featured more in the upcoming chapters, starting with this one!**

**Happy Reading.**

**Disclaimer: I dont own BTR. **

* * *

><p><em>If you ever leave me, baby,<br>Leave some morphine at my door  
>'Cause it would take a whole lot of medication<br>To realize what we used to have,  
>We don't have it anymore.<em>

"What do you mean the wedding's off, Christina?" Mama rose her voice as Christina walked away from the kitchen. She didnt wanna deal with this right now. "What's going on between you and Logan? You guys seemed perfect."

"Well, that's not the case."

"Christina, you can't just call the wedding off, you guys were already-"

"MA, it's off, that's that!" She waved off her mother and left the house.

"Honey, just let it go." Papa said putting his arm around Mama. "The most we can do is be there for her."

"But i just dont understand how they were doing so well & then all of a sudden the wedding's off.."

"I know, I know. Just let it be." He said rubbing her arm.

Christina drove off to spend some time with Felicia and Rodney. She didnt want to be near anyone else, especially Logan. Since they called it quits, nothing's been the same. They havent talked nor heard from each other all day. Well, they have always tried to take their own time to think about things after breakups/fights. But Christina had a feeling that things were gonna play out differently this time.

"I know how you feel, Christina. Trust me. I've gotten frustrated with Rodney a lot and its no joke."

"He didnt get it though!"

"I'm sure he did, it's just all in your head. Have you ever thought that maybe you reacted a bit too dramatically? Have you tried putting yourself in his shoes? It always works."

"Why would I put myself in his shoes when I was the one-"

"There you go again, talking about you, you, you. Christina, do you really think Logan was leaving it up to you? He tried really hard. Not to make you feel guilty but he was trying really hard to do everything at once. Hell, he was even looking up wedding stuff during breaks at the studio as I've heard."

"Now you guys tell me this!"

"Well, I didnt think you needed an explanation because I thought you knew Logan well enough." Felicia shrugged. "I dont know, 'Stina. You're my sister and all and I love you. But i dont think it was necessary to put it all on him like that. Take some time to yourself. Hit the club with the girls. Something. Get your mind right." Christina was starting to feel guilty about her actions. She definitely wanted him back. She wanted to rewind time and make last night better. _What if it was a little too late? _If he thought that she was happy without him, he was wrong. It was a miscommunication. Misunderstanding. And well, it was killing her. How else could she fix this?

_There's no religion that could save me  
>No matter how long my knees are on the floor<br>So keep in mind all the sacrifices I'm makin'  
>To keep you by my side<br>To keep you from walkin' out the door._

_**- Logan's POV -**_

I sat in bed all day, looking at the ring next to my bed. It was over. _It was really over. _It irritated me so much that Christina would take something so small and turn into something huge - so huge that it had the tendency to break us apart. Whatever though. She gave up, so I wasnt sure if I should put it in any effort. She wasnt happy, and if it takes us to be apart to make her happy.. _**then so be it.**_

_'Cause there'll be no sunlight  
>If I lose you, baby<br>There'll be no clear skies  
>If I lose you, baby<br>Just like the clouds  
>My eyes will do the same, if you walk away<br>Everyday, it'll rain, rain, rain_

"You alright, Loges?" Kendall asked opening my door.

"I guess." I said bluntly, fiddling with the ring in my hand. He closed the door and sat on the end of my bed.

"What's really up?"

"I dont know, man..."

"This is surprising.. this whole breakup between you and Christina."

"I know.. we werent coming to an understanding though."

"That's it?"

"It's not what it seems like Kendall." Kendall rose his eyebrow, signaling for him to continue with his explanation. "She wouldnt let it go. Her anger. Her frustrations. Everything. She was holding a grudge against me and it was hard for her to be happy. She wasnt happy anymore. And not only did it irritate me that she was holding an unnecessary grudge agaisnt me, but maybe she was better off doing her own thing." Kendall nodded silently. "It was all a mess dude. I love the girl but if she isnt happy, what am i supposed to do? Especially if i'm trying to provide my best for her."

"I understand. That isnt like Christina though. It's weird."

"I know, that's what kills me. That isnt like her at all. I didnt want things to end the way they did last night. Hell, I didnt even want it to end. But,.. i dont know. I really dont."

"It's cool. I get ya'. Take some time to yourself man. Do some things with your bros. There's just a lot of tension between you two. & I'm sure.. in due time, things will be better." Kendall smiled, making me smile back.

"YOU GUYS. CLUB. TONIGHT. LETS GO." Carlos said busting into my room holding up a club flier.

"What club is it?"

"I dont know, its a new one." Carlos looked at the flier. "The Social Apartment 24. Hosted by Massive Ent. Opens at 9:30." Carlos looked up smiling. "Coooome on guys, it sounds sick! We need to do something besides play games all day and watch tv!" He was right. Besides the studio, we had no lives. And this "Social" sounded pretty sick, anyways. It's been awhile since we've had some bro time. It was perfect to get my mind off of things.

"I'm down. Let's go. Bro time." I said. Kendall looked at us and nodded.

"Yeah, I'm down. What about James?"

"Oh you know he'd be down. I'll tell him." He closed to the door to tell James about the event.

"Damn it's been awhile, I'm kind of excited." I said getting up to stretch.

"Should we ask Rodney to come?" Kendall asked.

"Uhhm, no. I dont think he would. He loves spending time with Felicia and Nico when he can."

"True. The club isnt for him right now." Kendall and I laughed. "What about Sierra?"

"Uh yeah, sure. She's like a bro." Kendall nodded and excused himself out of my room to call Sierra. I was excited for tonight. I was gonna let all of these troubles and stress go. I needed a break from everything.

_I'll never be your mother's favorite  
>Your daddy can't even look me in the eye<br>Ooh, if I was in their shoes, I'd be doing the same thing  
>Sayin' "There goes my little girl<br>Walkin' with that troublesome guy"_

_But they're just afraid of something they can't understand  
>Ooh, but little darlin' watch me change their minds<br>Yeah for you I'll try I'll try I'll try I'll try  
>I'll pick up these broken pieces 'til I'm bleeding<br>If that'll make you mine_

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><p><em><strong>- No POV -<strong>_

After grabbing some dinner at BJ's, the guys got ready for the club. They all decided to look spiffy for tonight - all in jeans, dress shirts, sweaters, ties, vneck sweaters and sneakers. The guys planned to pre-game so FreightTrain was their designated driver for the night. After a couple of shots and beer, they finally headed over to meet Sierra at the club. Once they got there, they spotted Sierra waiting in the VIP line, talking to a security guard guiding the doors. They were all stunned to see how amazing she looked, even if she was in a simple longsleeve grey dress and pale pink pumps. Her hair was loosely curled and her eyes were bold to the dark eyeshadow and eyeliner she put on and her eyelashes were long and curled.

"Hey! You guys made it! Let's go, the party just started!" She said giving them a round of hugs. She scrunched her face when they said their hello's - she could smell the alcohol on their breaths but she quickly laughed it off and lead them inside the club. Carlos was right, the club was pretty sick. It was packed. The mix had the right songs. There was the bar for more drinks. And there were a lot of pretty females.

James decided to help himself to the pretty females on the dance floor and got to dancin'. Kendall wasnt sure if he wanted more drinks or if he wanted to dance as he was sobering up.

"Brooooo, let's get more drinks!" Logan said to Carlos. They were both pretty tipsy. Carlos nodded and headed to the bar while Kendall stopped Logan.

"Wait, are you sure? You're pretty tipsy already Loges."

"I'm good Kendall. I'm gooooooooooood." He smiled, his eyes slowly opening and closing.

"Noooo. I dont think you need anymore drinks man. Just go out there and dance!" _But it was too late. _Carlos already brought over a glass for him and they started chuggin' away. Kendall was worried those two would get into trouble but at the same time, they were always pretty smart about their actions. Well, at least ONE of them was. He didnt know about Carlitos.

Logan was definitely feeling the alcohol and well, he wanted to have a jollly good time tonight. The first person that came to mind was Sierra, and boy was she looking good to him. He spotted her dancing to the side so he came up behind her and slowly worked with her movements. She was surprised but she let him dance on him anyway. She eased up knowing it was Logan.

On the other hand, Christina walked in with Felicia. Rodney told Felicia to keep her company for the night and to watch her to make sure she didnt drink and drive or something. Christina went straight for the bar ordering shots while Felicia had a glass of Mai Thai - a tropical mixed alcohol beverage, but not as much alcohol in it. She didnt know the guys were at the same club she was at, and hell, she could careless. She wanted her time to just drink and have fun from all this stress.

_'Cause there'll be no sunlight  
>If I lose you, baby<br>There'll be no clear skies  
>If I lose you, baby<br>Just like the clouds  
>My eyes will do the same, if you walk away<br>Everyday, it'll rain, rain, rain._

As the two were having a conversation at the bar, Christina swore she saw Logan on the dance floor, but didnt say anything. She didnt wanna make it seem like she was going crazy. Plus she went to the club to get her mind off of him. But it was weird, the guy dancing on some girl looked familiar. They both looked familiar.

On the dance floor, the guys were enjoying their time dancing from girl to girl. Logan was still dancing on Sierra and it's been awhile.

"Hey, I gotta go to the bathroom." Sierra turned around smiled.

"Alright go, I'll be here."

"No come with."

"Why?"

"Wait for me outside or something. I dont want anyone else dancing with you." She smiled and followed his lead. Carlos watched them go and shook his head laughing. He ran off to the bar to get more drinks for himself because he was starting to sober up.

"Yo man! Can i get another?" Carlos winked. Christina turned around, confused. That voice was familiar.

"Carlos?"

"Oh man! Christina! Whaaat's up sis! Whattttt's up Licia!"

"What're you doing here? Where are the guys?" Licia asked behind Christina.

"Oh, around. We're just havin' bro time." He nodded and smiled.

"So.. Logan's here."

"Yeah. I dont know where he went though."

"Oh okay." She watched Carlos down another drink before leaving.

"I'll see you later sis, be safe!"

"That was awkward." Christina said turning back to her sister.

"It's okay. It's only awkard if you make it awkward."

"True. Well I have to go to the bathroom, so I'll be back." Felicia nodded. Christina gave her purse to leave with Felicia before making her way to where the bathroom was. She fixed herself as she walked and stopped in her tracks as soon as she got to the restroom area.

"Oh.. my.. god." She whispered to herself and covered her mouth. She stared at Logan passionately kissing Sierra for a minute. Once they pulled away and looked at each other, Christina ran back to Felicia, tears pouring down her cheek.

"What happened?"

"I saw him.. he.. he kissed her."

"Kissed who? What's going on Christina?"

"He kissed Sierra." Felicia's eyes widened.

"No way…"

On the other hand, Logan and Sierra made their way back to the dance floor when Carlos approached them.

"Duuude! Christina and Felicia are here!" Logan's eyes widened at the sound of her name. Immediately, Sierra felt guilty for their kiss.

"Christina..? Where is she?"

"Uh, over there!" Carlos pointed towards the bar. He was right, Christina and Felicia were there, but they were making their way to the door.

"Hold on.." Logan said walking towards the sisters. He wanted to talk to her. He was definitely sobering up by now and he was wondering if she had seen him and Sierra kiss. Logan finally caught up them outside of the club and he gently grabbed her arm. She slowly turned around and yanked her arm away from him.

_Oh, don't just say (don't just say) goodbye (goodbye),  
>Don't just say (don't just say) goodbye (goodbye)<br>I'll pick up these broken pieces 'til I'm bleeding  
>If that'll make it right<em>

"Get the hell away from me Logan."

"Christina can we just—"

"No, Logan. Get the hell away from me. Seriously."

"Christina.." He tried grabbing her arm once again.

"Don't touch me."

"I just wanna talk to you.."

"Seriously, he's like a five year old. What doesn't he understand?" Christina said to Felicia out of anger.

"Christina, just be mature for 5 minutes." He started to get restless. She gave him a look before getting closer to him.

"Be mature?" She scoffed and walked to the side in order for them to talk.

"What's going on with you?"

"I saw you kiss her in front of my face."

"I didn't kiss her.. She kissed me." _The biggest lie Logan could ever tell, but he was scared. He was really scared. He definitely fucked up again._

"Oh so your face just fell onto hers. Great explanation."

"Im sorry—"

"Bullshit. What are we, in high school? I'm done with this. I don't need this. I don't even know why Im taking the time to talk to you, we're over with."

"It's not like that for me."

"Oh yeah? It obviously is if you had the time to kiss her."

"Im sorry. I wasn't in my right mind."

"Whatever. Goodnight Logan. I don't wanna talk to you or see you at all." With that, she left Logan standing there.

"Come on buddy, get back inside." Freight Train patted his shoulder, signaling him to get back inside.

"What happened?" Felicia asked as she tried keeping up with her sister.

"Nothing. Just keep him away from me."

_'Cause there'll be no sunlight  
>If I lose you, baby<br>There'll be no clear skies  
>If I lose you, baby<br>Just like the clouds  
>My eyes will do the same, if you walk away<br>Everyday, it'll rain, rain, rain_

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><p><strong>The song featured throughout this chapter is It Will Rain - Bruno Mars.<strong>

**Reviews are much appreciated! (:**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello! Happy New Year, everyone! (: I hope you guys had a great start to kick off the new year. Thank you so much for the alerts and reviews; this story gets to much love, and I cant thank you guys enough. So in return, I have another chapter up for you! This chapter's main character is Carlos, but not in his point of view. He's just the star of the chapter. (: Yay, Carlos!**

**Be sure to check out It Girl! I just updated that yesterday, too. **

**H****appy reading, my loves.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or any songs.**

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><p><em>Look what this girl done did to me,<em>

_She done cut me off from a good, good love._

_She told me that those days were gone,_

_Now I'm sitting here going half crazy_

_'Cause I know she still thinks about me too,_

_And there ain't no way in hell, that I can be just friends with you_

Call, after Call. Text, after text. Voicemail, after voicemail. Nothing was working. & all Logan wanted to do was talk to Christina. Yeah, they may be on bad terms, probably even worse now, but he loved the girl & he just wanted to _explain _himself. He couldnt believe it was all happening this way. Now that she pushed herself out of his life for good, he didnt know what to do.

He could easily say he was becoming a mess.

_And I wish we never did it_

_And I wish we never loved it_

_And I wish I never fell so deep in love with you and now ain't no way we can be friends._

He tried one more time. He called, but it went straight to voicemail after a ring. He completely felt the rejection after he figured out she rejected his call. He sighed and left another voicemail.

_**"Please, Christina. Just talk to me this one last time. Please. I love you."**_

_The way it felt, no faking it_

_Maybe we were moving just a little too fast._

_But what we've done we can't take it back_

_Now I'm sitting here half way crazy_

_'Cause I know she still thinks about me too_

_And there ain't no way in hell, that I can be just friends with you_

"Fuck." He mumbled and threw his phone onto his bed. This was useless. He buried his head into his hands. As Carlos was leaving his room, he peeked into Logan's room. He felt sympathetic for the guy and half of him felt like it was kind of his fault that him and Christina had to end like this. He kept giving Logan drinks when he knew he was vulnerable & he knew the possibilities of him doing what he did was beyond high. _Yet, he still kept encouraging the guy to drink. _

"Hey buddy." No answer. "How ya' feelin'?" _Dumb question, _Carlos thought. But he really wanted to know how his bestfriend was feeling.

"I dont know."

"Still no answer from her?"

"No. I mean, I wouldnt blame her, I basically fucked everything up." Logan said looking up from his hands.

"It wasnt your fault." Carlos said sitting next to him.

"Then who's was it? I cant blame it on the alcohol. That's never an excuse." Carlos looked down.

"I'm sorry, man. Really. I feel like this is my fault too."

"How?"

"I kept giving you drinks. Basically encouraging you to fuck up." Logan sighed.

"Nah man, dont think that way. This is all on me. I chose to kiss her."

"Have you talked to Sierra?"

"No... I mean, I know it's kind of shady but I dont really want to right now. I'm just trying to focus on Christina."

"I know, bro."

"But she's been hitting me up to apologize. She said she sent a text to Christina too. I'm not too sure how that went."

"Well, that's cool of her."

"Yeah. I dont know anymore Carlos."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you see me? I'm a mess. She wont talk to me. At all. It's only been a couple days & I'm going crazy. It's frustrating. I'm so close to saying, you know.. fuck it."

"What? No bro, you cant."

"What's the use if i keep trying & trying & she still wont talk to me. Carlos, I've tried everything. I dont wanna give up on her but if it's not going anywhere, _**I might as well**__._"

"I'm going to be so straight up with you, Loges. If you give up, I might as well have to kill you."

"It's really no use. I dont know what else I can do. I want her in my life. Not as friends, as my fiancee. & I swear im willing to do it better this time. If only she gave me the chance to. But she wont. And that just brings me to a dead end."

"I hate hearing you talk like this. This isnt like you."

"I'm never like me without Christina." Logan looked back down at his hands then at the picture of him and Christina on the night stand next to his bed. Those words sent a chill down Carlos' spine. _**"I'm never like me without Christina." **_He knew that shit literally just got real. And that this was some serious shit Logan was dealing with. He wanted to talk to Christina. If she wasnt gonna talk to Logan, maybe Carlos could make a difference. Of course, the guys were disappointed in Logan's decisions, but they could only be there for his bestfriend if no one else was.

"Well, things will get better, bud. I promise." Carlos patted Logan on the back before retreating to his room. Once he plopped on his bed, he fiddled with his phone a bit deciding if he should call Christina to meet him up or not.

Christina, on the other hand, was back to work like normal. Her shifts started earlier, so she was able to get out before evening hit. Honestly, she was dying. She was internally dying without Logan & it didnt help that it was all over the TV. But she kept telling people she was fine & that _she didnt need him anymore. _When that was the biggest lie she could ever tell. She did need him. She never liked it when her and Logan were in this situation, and even if it was her fault they split in the first place, all the feelings came running back to her at once. It hurt her really badly that Logan kissed Sierra when he was drunk, but she wants to forget it. She's trying to forget it, but its hard. She wishes it was her he kissed. And her, that he shared his good time with that night. Although it may not seem like it, **it's still all about him.**

_And I wish we never did it_

_And I wish we never loved it_

_And I wish I never fell so deep in love with you and now ain't no way we can be friends._

_And all I can say is:_

_La la la la la la la la laaaaa_

_La la la la la la la la la, la la laowwww_

_La la la la la la laaaa, hey_

She got her stuff together and headed to her car, thanking God her shift was over for today. She loved being there, but sometimes when she was dealing with too much, all she wanted to do was curl up in bed with Mochi. Nothing felt right. And everytime she hoped things would get better, it only got worse. She sat in her car and took a deep breath before starting it. That's when her phone rang.

_**Carlos.**_

She hesitated. She wasnt sure if she should answer because she didnt know if it was Logan calling through Carlos' phone. He's been blowing up her phone like crazy & honestly, she just wasnt ready to talk to him. Before she could answer, the call ended, but it was followed by a text shortly after.

_**It's me, Carlitos. Don't worry. Pick up.**_

She felt relieved and picked up the next time he called.

"Hello?"

"Stina. Are you outta work?"

"Yeah, just got out. What's up?"

"Is it cool if i stop by your place?"

"Sure."

"Alright, I'll see you in a bit."

_**Click.**_

Now, she wasnt too sure why Carlos wanted to come over, but he seemed sincere about it. She didnt have to worry. She never had to worry with Carlos. Besides Logan, Carlos was the other person she felt closest to out of the guys. Sure he had his kiddy moments most of the time, but she loved him for always being there for her whenever she needed to cheer up. She was always there for him when he needed her. They had a pretty strong brother/sister bond. With Kendall and James, she could talk to them / ask them about things here & there, but it wasnt to the point where she was fully comfortable like she is with Carlos.

When she got home, she threw on her pajama shorts and her black Disneyland crewneck. She scooped Mochi up and started flipping through the channels.

_**Hollywood's Most Adored couple, Christina Vega and Logan Mitchell have called it quits for good. What's next for the two?**_

_**Christina Vega and Logan Mitchell are no longer getting married-**_

_**Christina Vega and Logan Mitchell are dunzo!-**_

_Christina Vega and Logan Mitchell. Christina Vega and Logan Mitchell. Everything was Christina Vega and Logan Mitchell, and she hated it. _She flipped to the movie channels, and left it on Dumb and Dumber. At least she was gonna get a laugh out of this. And she knew there would be no "Christina Vega and Logan Mitchell" disrupting her program. By the time she was getting into the movie, she heard a knock. She scooped Mochi into her arms and opened the door, revealing Carlos.

"Hey Carlitos."

"Whaaat's up Stina! I hope I wasnt bugging you."

"Not at all." They plopped onto the couch.

"I got you some food, by the way. Your favorite sandwich from Subway."

"Aw." She smiled. "Thanks but you didnt have to."

"Well, I wouldnt just get a sandwich for myself and eat it in front of you." He started unwrapping his sub and biting into it.

"So, what's up? What brings you here?"

"I dont know. I wanted to check on you. See if you were doing okay." She sighed.

"I'm okay. Im just sick of seeing it everywhere on tv."

"I understand. You havent talked to him?"

"No. Im sure you know he blows up my phone." He nodded. "I'm not ready to talk to him."

"Let me ask you, do you still love him?"

"Of course I do."

"People make mistakes. You guys had your share of mistakes & i still find you guys in love with each other no matter what. What makes this time different from the last?"

"I dont know Carlos, if I could explain everything to you, I would. But i cant..." He nodded. He knew exactly what she meant and he wasnt gonna push for a better answer. It was way too complicated.

"I know. Im sorry."

"It's alright." Christina said looking down at Mochi. "It hurt to see him kiss her. But even after that, I still love him. I still find myself dying at times knowing I cant turn to him when I used to. It's just.. the timing. The timing's all off."

"But he's there for you. He always wants to be there for you. He's a mess without you."

"And I understand cos I feel exactly the way he's feeling. But i just feel like we need time. Everytime i hope it gets better, it only gets worse. I feel like its God telling us to take this time a part from each other. And.. well, I guess i'll accept it. If it aint meant to be now, maybe it will be later.." He nodded. He honestly loved Christina's way of thinking. He wasnt gonna say anymore. It was clear, Christina had everything set in her mind.

"True. Do you find yourself talking to him in the future?"

"Possibly." He nodded. The end of that conversation. He didnt wanna bug her anymore with Logan questions. "How are you though?"

"Im good." Carlos chuckled. "Just taking life as it comes. Gustavo's being easier on us now with the new album. We're maaakin' serious hits."

"That's good. Im happy for you guys." She smiled at him. He continued to leave bigger bites into his sandwich and sooner or later, he was done with the whole thing. He burped and made his way to Christina's kitchen to get some water from the fridge.

"I miss hanging out with you, sis." Carlos said keeping his eyes on Dumb and Dumber.

"I do too. I really do."

"We definitely need to do this more. It's so chill when we're together."

"I know right?" She chuckled. He looked at his watch and got up.

"Well, I'll head out and leave you to your peace. I told the guys I was only gonna make a quick stop somewhere."

"Alright. Dont get in trouble now." He smiled and pulled her into a hug.

"Maaan, Carlos never gets into trouble." She giggled. "Aye, maybe when we're both free again, i'll take you out to some dinner. Get you to relax and de-stress yourself out."

"Sounds good, bro."

"Alright, later Stina. Love you."

"Love you too, Carlitos." Affer having his company, Christina felt better. She already felt relaxed and felt lighter. She vented to him and released all those emotions that were kept bottled inside of her. She was glad he didnt bug her and annoy her with stuff about Logan, though. That's the last thing she needed & she was sure Carlos could see that.

By the time Carlos got home, he was feeling good of himself. Even though he went into this thinking he could get the two back together, it was obvious Christina wasnt ready. But he was there for her - to listen to her release all the things that were stressing her out. As he headed up the stairs, Logan was making his way down. All dressed and everything, khakis, white vneck, letterman jacket and a hat with the rim turned to the back.

"Woah, where are you going Mr. Spiffy?"

"I dont know, out and about? I just kind of dont wanna be in my room anymore." Weird, Carlos thought. He kind of had a bad feeling about this but whatever. He was gonna let Logan do what he wanted to do. The kid was in dire need of getting out, too. Carlos couldnt stand watching him bum it out in the room whenever they had free time.

"Well, alright. Call me if ya' need me." Logan waved him off and was out the door.

"Where'd you come from?" James asked as Carlos was about to enter his room.

"I came from Christina's." James had his eyebrow raised. "No not like that. I was gonna try and get these two to meet halfway, but it's not happening."

"Why not?"

"I dont know, she just thinks that they need this time. And if its not meant to be right now, it might be later." James nodded.

"Nicely worded, my friend." Carlos laughed.

"That came from Christina." James' smile quickly faded.

"Nevermind, I take it back. I was almost impressed with you for a minute."

"Wow, forget you." Carlos hit James as he laughed and made his way down the stairs.

"Call of Duty?" James yelled from downstairs.

"I'll be down in a bit."

After hours of playing, Kendall joining them halfway, they decided to head up to bed. They had no idea they were playing until 1 in the morning and they had to be at the studio early tomorrow. What was weird to Carlos was that Logan wasnt home yet. But James and Kendall said not to worry about it and well, that's what he _tried _to do. He laid in his bed, closing his eyes, hoping to fall into an easy, deep sleep.

But right when he was getting to that point, he heard it.

The giggles and the shushing.

He wondered what was going on, so he got up to peek through his door. Logan had a girl straddled around his waist and he was whispering in her ear, making her laugh. They started to make out, making their way into his room. When he kicked the door closed, Carlos closed his door.

_He was pissed the fuck off. _Not only was Logan hurting Christina even more, but he was acting stupid. There was no way in fucking hell that Logan was gonna recover from all this, especially with what he was doing. He wasnt sure who the girl was, but he didnt care. Knowing that it was some anonymous girl made his blood boil. Was he trying to cope with this hurt by fucking other girls? Carlos knew damn well that wasnt gonna get him anywhere, but hey, if he chose to do so, he would let him act stupid. He needed to learn from his mistakes. He didnt wanna tell Christina. Well, half of him did, and half of him didnt. But, fuck.

There was no way he was gonna let Logan do this to her.

There was no way he was gonna let Christina fall for him all over again while he was out doing this.

Since when was Logan Mitchell like this?

_Ain't no telling what we could have been,_

_Ain't telling what we could've been, oh_

_And if I knew it would end like this,_

_I never would have kissed ya, 'cause I fell in love with ya,_

_We never would've kicked it, girl now everything's different_

_I lost my only lover and my friend that's why I wished we never did it_

_And I wish we never loved it_

_And I wish I never fell so deep in love with you and now ain't no way we can be friends._

_La la la la la la la la laaaaa_

_La la la la la la la la laaaaa_

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><p><strong>Song: Cant Be Friends - Trey Songz.<strong>

**Reviews are much appreciated!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello Everyone! (: I am back with another chapter, because you guys are amazing! Thank you for the reviews/alerts, definitely much appreciated! Keep them coming, please. So anyways, another chapter filled with Carlos-ness because we all love Carlos' sweet side and he is pretty close to Christina (besides her sisters). But we've seen a lot in their relationship.**

**I hope you like! Happy Reading.**

**Disclaimer: I dont own BTR. **

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><p>"Carloooooos!" Logan yelled busting into Carlos' room. "Do you have my purple hat?" Carlos sighed and turned around.<p>

"Why would I have it, Logan?" Logan was confused. Was Carlos tired or was he just having an off day? His reply had no emotion at all. If anything, the only emotion plastered on his face was irritation.

"Woah.. Okay, just asking.." Carlos silently turned around, going back to what he was doing: fixing his bed. Logan lingered in his room for awhile, wondering why Carlos was actng the way he was. He was _never _like that. "Hey, uh. You okay buddy?"

"Perfect." Carlos replied without turning around.

"Uhm, okay. Well, Im here if you need me.. I'll .. see you downstairs?" Logan said awkwardly, before dismissing himself from the room. After treading down the stairs, Logan walked into the kitchen, where he bumped into Kendall. "Hey man?" He softly hit him on the chest.

"What's up Loges?"

"Do you know what's wrong with Carlos?"

"Wait what? Carlos?" Kendall asked. He looked at Logan confused.

"Yeah, he's acting all bitter. Something like that."

"Uh, are you sure? He was the same old Carlos this earlier." Logan rose his eyebrow.

"I'm confused."

"Huh. You probably caught him at the wrong time."

"Oookay.. If you say so. I mean there's never really a 'wrong time' with Carlos." They shrugged and brushed the subject off.

The truth is, Carlos was still pissed off from what he saw last night. He doesnt think he'll get over it. He knows its kind of stupid to hold a grudge like this against his bestfriend, but it pissed him off everytime he thought about it. One, he cared about Christina just as much as he cared about Logan. They've made mistakes before, but they were small tidbits that could be fixed over time. Two, he has _never _seen Logan act this way. **Ever. **And it was one of those major disappointments he couldnt get over. He knew Logan was more civil - he knew he had the brains to handle this breakup better. Three, because he cares about Christina, he cant stand the fact that Logan acts like everything's fine after having a one night stand. Like he's slick or something. Four, in addition to that, it disgusts him how Logan acts like he's depressed and what not, when he's really doing the opposite.

So what, Logan kissed Sierra and fucked Miss Anonymous. It may not be much to other people, but to Carlos, it was a big deal. He knew he shouldnt be worrying himself. And butting into people's business like this. It was just the fact that Logan kept adding more and more to the _damage_ he was doing to Christina.

_And he seemed fine with it._

At the studio, Carlos was doing his own thing. He would talk to James and Kendall as if everything was fine. But he would stay silent around Logan. Maybe a word or two. But it wasnt like him to treat somebody respectfully if they're doing somebody else dirty. He learned from his Mama that **respect **was earned, not given. And so was **trust**.

"Heard you were acting a bit sour to Logan earlier? What's up Carlitos, is something bugging you?" Carlos rose his eyebrow at Kendall.

"No, Im fine."

"So..? Why was he telling me you were being all bitter?"

"Nothing I was just irritated about something this morning. No biggie." Carlos said shrugging and returning his eyes back on the lyric sheet.

"Alrighty then. Glad to know it's not anything serious."

"Oh yeah, no no. I'm good." Carlos smiled at him before looking back down on the sheet. He started humming the tune of the song and softly singing along when his phone vibrated.

_**Have a good day at the studio, Carlitos! 3 Miss you. Thanks for the talk last night. - Christina.**_

Christina was about to put her phone away when she got a reply from Carlos.

_**No problem, Stina. You have a good day at work too. Dont stress. I'll call you later.**_

She smiled and slipped her phone back into her pocket before going into Amber's room. Christina loved Amber; This girl was definitely a trooper. She was fighting her cancer every day of her life and she pulled through every single time. Sometimes she wished she had the strength Amber had. As much as she doesnt want to admit it, she was broken down so easily when it came to Logan.

But she was doing fine lately. She would rather not talk about it nor think about it, because she wouldnt want to ruin her record.

"Hey sweetheart! How are you feeling?"

"Better." Amber giggled.

"Are you sure? There's nothing bugging you?"

"Not at all!"

"Okay good, because I was gonna have to get those meanies that were hurting you." She giggled some more. Christina continued to run some tests on her to check if she was really doing okay.

"Chwistinaaa?"

"Yes sweetie?"

"Where's LogieBear?" Christina paused in what she was doing before continuing.

"Uhm... He's been busy. Sorry honey."

"You guys are still together right?"

"Welll.. We had to take a break for a little while. We've both been busy." She covered her face.

"Oh noooo." She pouted after taking her hands away from her face. "I hope everything gets better."

"Yeah, me too." Christina quietly mumbled in response. She was hoping she wouldnt be reminded of Logan today. She was doing fine after her and Carlos talked last night. She was almost at acceptance about the whole situation. Now, it all just came running back to her. She couldnt blame Amber, she shouldve expected it. Amber loved her and Logan together.

_And here she was trying her hardest not to break down. _

The worse part? Her shift wouldnt be over anytime soon.

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><p>Everything was pure awkward in the studio today. Sierra showed up and the tension was felt between her and Logan. And then there was the tension Carlos had against Logan. It was just the wrong day. Carlos just kept his distance from it all, and stayed close to Rodney most of the time.<p>

"Aye man. Are you, alright?" Rodney finally asked him before they all went their own ways.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I dont get why everyone's asking."

"Well I mean, you're not making it obvious. Something just feels off. You havent talked to Logan all day and you're usually always bugging him."

"Oh, yeah.. No. I just dont have anything to bug him with."

"Impossible.."

"Possible?" Carlos rose his eyebrow.

"What's up man. Really though. You can tell me."

"Idk, Logan's been irritating me lately. He's been acting stupid after this whole breakup with him and Stina."

"Like?"

"I'll tell you later, bro. I dont really wanna piss myself off right now."

"Well, alright. Just hit me up." Carlos nodded and hopped in the car with the rest of the boys. During the trip back home, Carlos silently sat next to Logan. He was happy they werent asking anymore questions. He didnt wanna explain himself over and over again. At least not right now. As he was looking out the window, his phone started vibrating. More than once, which signaled a call that caught Logan's attention. Carlos slightly pulled out his phone to see who it was. It was Christina.

W_hich meant she needed him right now._

He wanted to answer, but he couldnt.

"Hey, arent you gonna get that?" Logan looked at him confused.

"Nah. Not now. Dont feel like talking."

"Oh. Who is it?" Logan paused for a minute. The guys were so comfortable with each other it was easy to get into each other's business without any problems.

"Dad."

"Nice. Tell 'em I said hi when you call him back." Logan said in reply and continued to mess with Kendall. The rest of the ride home was quiet, a few tic-tacs thrown in his face by James, but he dealt with it. When they got home, The boys went straight upstairs to their room.

"Yoooo. Are you trying to go out tonight?" Logan asked Carlos before he could even step in his room.

"Uhm no. Im good."

"You sure? Me and Kendall are about to go out. Roam around the city. Find something to do."

"Yeah Im cool. Thanks." With that he walked into his room. He overheard James turn him down too. He wondered if he would tell Kendall all about his shenanigans. Carlos knew he'd get into another mess tonight. He already knew. Kendall wasnt one to judge. Dont get him wrong, so wasnt Carlos. It wasnt their thing to take sides. And as much as he didnt want to, it was just annoying seeing Logan act the way he was. _It wasnt him. _Kendall would probably tell Logan it was his choice. He was the type to just let things be if it wasnt questioned.

After he heard everyone leave the hallway, he called up Christina.

"He-Hello?" She sounded as if she was/has been crying, which worried Carlos.

"Stina. Im sorry I didnt answer, I just got home. What's up?"

"Ugh, I dont know. It's coming back."

"What is, Christina?"

"I'm breaking down again." _Shit, _Carlos thought. He didn't think being in between would be so much work, but he was gonna be there for her. Especially if her ex wasn't doing such a good job with the role.

"Uh, what time is your shift done?"

"6."

"Alright, I'll be at your house around 7ish. We'll talk about this."

"O-okay." She managed to stutter through her tears.

_**Click. **_Carlos sighed and wondered what else he could do until then. A part of him really wanted to tell Christina to move on because she didn't deserve any of this. But at the same time, he knew Christina could make Logan better. They made each other better. They always benefitted from their relationship. But right now, he couldn't stand hearing Christina break down over someone who gave up.

He went into James' room, seeing James doing push ups.

"Yoooo." Carlos said closing his door and plopping on his bed. After a couple of more pushups, James sat on the floor, looking up at Carlos.

"What's up Carlos?"

"You going out tonight?"

"Uhm, no. I'm not in the mood. You?"

"No." James rose his eyebrow.

"What's been really bugging you today?"

"..Logan." He mumbled but James heard.

"Why?"

"You cant tell me you didn't hear what happened last night." James shook his head and chuckled.

"I did."

"Then how are you not upset at him right now?" Carlos asked with his arms flying open.

"No one said I wasn't upset. But I mean, shit happens Carlos. Why are you taking this so hard? It has nothing to do with you."

"But Christina's one of my bestfriends too. You know how close we are."

"True."

"I just think its stupid how he's acting. You know damn well he can handle this situation better. I don't get where he came up with the idea that he should just fuck girls until everything's okay." James nodded. "It's disgusting. And it pisses me off because Christina's crying her heart out over someone who decided it was okay to fuck around until Christina comes around."

"I get where you're coming from. I just think you shouldn't be stressing out as much.."

"I'm gonna stress out if I care enough. A part of me wants to tell her to move on and get on with her life but at the same time I cant, cause he's my bestfriend too. And they work so well together. I never liked being in the middle but I never liked taking sides. I just wanna be there for both of them, but its obvious Logan's already set with what he's doing."

"Carlos just let him be. If Christina needs you, then be there for her. But leave Logan alone. Let him learn from his own actions. I can agree, its stupid. But if he wants to make stupid decisions then so be it."

"I guess."

"Have you told Christina about what's happening?"

"No. I don't think I have the guts too. It's like, I don't wanna rat Logan out, but at the same time, I don't wanna be shady and keep things from Christina."

"Don't say anything. Let things happen. If things fall apart, they will fall back together. But you need to let it happen. I know you care about her, but don't prevent every little thing from happening. It's obvious its happening for a reason." Carlos sighed. James had a point.

"You're right, you're right."

"Be there for her. To listen. Give advice. Whatever. But don't become superman. I know that's been your dream, but this is reality bro."

'Alright. Thanks." Carlos nodded and smiled. "I'm gonna go to her house later when she gets off. She called me crying." James nodded.

"She's not in a good state, is she?"

"I mean she is. But at the same time, she isnt."

"Poor Christina. Tell her im here for her too."

"Forsure."

So, as soon as it hit 6, Carlos took his time to shower and get ready to head over to Christina's. He wasn't dressed in anything fancy. Basketball shorts, a shirt, a hat and some sneakers and he was good. Kendall and Logan were off to wherever their destination was, and the two of them had goals at the end of the night: hook up with females. & their excuse? You only live once. Just as Carlos predicted, Kendall ended up telling Logan it was his choice what he wanted to do. He had the same thinking as James, and he was going to let Logan make his own decisions. It was a little disappointing to Kendall that Logan continued to do what he was doing, but hey. It wasn't up to him what he wanted to do.

Carlos came to a crying Christina. All he needed to do was hug her and shush her. Tell her everything was going to be okay and that whatever was in store for her in the future, would be way better than what she was going through now. Christina felt bad because she felt as if she was repetitive about her feelings. She was on a rollercoaster and she felt bad he had to deal with such emotions. He hated seeing her this way, but as James said, he couldn't do much but just _be there for her and let things happen on their own._

About 10, he figured it was the right time to get home. Christina was back on her feet and she had stopped crying.

"Now, are you sure you're going to be okay?"

"Yes, Carlos. You did a lot. Thank you so much."

"No problem sis. Really. This is the least I can do for you." Christina smiled and pulled herself into the hug he was offering. He hugged her tightly and rubbed his hand up and down her arm. He planted a kiss ontop of her head. He told her to call him if anything and not to hesitate.

She just wanted to lay in bed for the rest of the night, to get ready for another long shift. She wouldn't call herself depressed, but it was becoming too much. She knew she was wrong and he knew he was wrong too, so why cant things just fall into place now? But she kept reminding herself that everything was in God's hands & that time would be her bestfriend right now.

_She had no idea of anything that was going on though._

So is it true that what you don't know wont kill you?

_She was dying either way. But if she knew about Logan's actions, it'd be worse._

She woke up to her phone ringing, close to 2am. She picked it up without thinking, without even looking at who It was callling her.

"Stina, Pick me up. Now. _**Please…" **_Her eyes widened hearing Amanda's voice and she was worried.

"I'm coming."

_Things couldn't possibly get worse now._

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><p><strong>Reviews are very much appreciated!<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**You guys are amazing, period. Thank you so much for the alerts/reviews. Here is another chapter for you amazing readers!**

**Check out It Girl!**

**Happy Reading!**

**Disclaimer: I dont own BTR.**

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><p><em>"Stina, Pick me up. Now. Please…" Her eyes widened hearing Amanda's voice and she was worried.<em>

_"I'm coming."_

Christina wasnt sure what was going on with Amanda and why she sounded the way she did. But it did worry her a lot. It was her prom night & she had told Christina she would be going to a party with Cameron after prom.

At that moment, she swore on her life she would hunt the kid down if he had done anything to her babysister.

Amanda texted her the address to the house shortly after she called Christina. It was a bit hard to tell what she was texting, but Christina figured it out. It was towards the guys' humble abode. She drove as fast as she could; all she wanted to do was get to her sister & be there for her, through whatever what was going on with her.

The drive seemed forever but as she finally got there, she parked right in front of the house, putting her hazard on. She didnt give a fuck if she was blocking other cars, she just wanted to get inside. There were still plenty of people at the house. It smelled like pure alcohol and weed everywhere. It definitely hit her that something terrible had gone wrong. Christina squished her way through the house, with people paying no mind to her. She at least tried looking for Cameron but both of them were nowhere to be found on the first floor. She climbed up the stairs, where there were barely any people. She peeked into some rooms, but finally heard a voice in one of the bigger rooms. She was guessing it was the master bedroom.

"That's what you fucking get, you hoe. Aint nobody wanted you, You were just a real dick pleaser." She heard someone say, pretty slurred though. She walked into the room, hearing somebody throwing up in the bathroom.

That's when she saw Cameron buckling up his pants and his shirt unbuttoned, revealing his wife beater. Christina felt her blood boil and made her way closer to the drunken boy to keep him away from her.

"Get the fuck away from my sister." Christina said pushing Cameron, almost making him stumble out of the bathroom.

"Woah, sorry there. Are you her sister?" He said smiling, his eyes glazed and droopy. Christina ignored him and took a plastic bag from the trash can nearby as Amanda finished throwing up another round in the toilet.

"Baby come on, we need to get you to the hospital. You're pale."

"Hey, what are you doing with her?" Cameron said at the door. Christina was getting fed up with this boy. All she wanted him to do was shutup so no one would get hurt, but he couldnt understand that. At least when he was drunk, he couldnt. "Dont touch her. Thats mine."

"Yours? Please. All I need you to do is shutup before I really beat the shit out of you for doing this to my sister." Christina couldnt get Amanda up. She was already too weak to get herself up. All Christina could do was hope and pray someone would come upstairs to help. She couldnt just leave her sister here.

"Oh, so you are her sister. You guys are pretty fuckin' fine. Maybe you should-" _No. Oh hell no. This little boy was not about to talk like that to her. _She wasnt having it. Christina got up, slapped the boy and kicked him in his area. He cried in pain before hitting to the ground.

"Whats going on in here?" Some tall, hefty guy busted into the room. He turned his attention from Cameron, to Christina and Amanda.

"I dont really know, but this is my sister. I need to get her to the hospital. Could you help me get her to the car?" The anonymous boy looked worried.

"Yeah, sure. Of course." He walked into the bathroom, seeing Amanda passed out around the toilet, He swooped her up in his arms and they headed downstairs to her car. As soon as she was laid comfortably in the back seat, Amanda started throwing up in the plastic bag.

"Shittt, Amanda. What did you get yourself into." Christina mumbled as she drove off to the hospital. She quickly checked her sister into the ER and they took her in immediately, which rarely happened at ERs. She called her parents to come over, then Felicia&Rodney, then texted Carlos to tell him that they could come if they wanted.

After she sent the text, she regretted it. She just remembered how her and Logan were on bad terms and how _**awkward **_that would be for them to see each other. They havent seen each other since the night they called it quits, and well, Christina wasnt so sure she was ready to see him tonight. Hell, she wasnt even ready to _**text **_him so what made her think she was fine seeing him?

Well, Carlos would be there. So it was fine.

Kind of. Not really. But whatever, Amanda loves the guys. And having the people she loved the most be there for her would make her feel better, no doubt.

Soon, everyone was piling in the emergency room. First Mama and Papa, worried out of their minds. Mama would be in tears here and then because her baby was always safe. She couldn't imagine anything bad happening to her. Felicia, Rodney and Nico, came in after, worried as well. Nico was bundled in plenty of layers and blankets and was in and out of sleep in his carrier. Then, the guys piled in. Nothing but serious/worried faces surrounded Christina. Everytime they asked what was wrong, she couldn't explain. She didn't know what was going on besides the fact that Amanda was continuously vomitting.

"Wait, so what happened?" Kendall asked as the guys hovered around her or around Mama and Papa.

"Kendall, I don't know.. She just kept throwing up. I feel like its alcohol poisoning or something. You know that girl. She never gets into anything like this." Kendall nodded.

"She's gonna be okay." He rubbed her back.

"Seriously. If that kid had ANYTHING to do with it, I will hunt his ass down." Carlos replied with his arms crossed. He shook his head and paced around the waiting room, waiting to hear the doctor.

_Logan. _

She had almost forgotten Logan was there, since he was being all quiet, keeping his distance. They would catch each other's glance but other than that, it was nothing. Almost like he didn't really care that she was there. Whatever. She was gonna act the same way. As if she had no care in the world that he was a couple feet away from her.

_But she was dying._

Maybe she was ready to talk to him. She kind of just longed to hear his voice. A simple hi. _Anything. _Maybe she was ready to just drop everything and run back into his arms.

_But as good and tempting as it sounds, she couldn't._

She knew she'd give in sooner or later & she couldn't let herself do that. She was stronger than that.

"Hey." Carlos put a hand on Christina's shoulder. "Stop thinking about whatever you're thinking about."

"But its hard.."

"How?"

"Because he's here."

"Don't let it get to you Christina. You know better than that."

"But what if I'm ready to talk to him Carlos?" He looked even more worried.

"What..? Are you sure about that? Are you sure you're not just doing it to get his attention?"

"No.. I actually wanna talk to him."

"I don't know Christina." He knew it was wrong. He knew everything Logan was doing behind her back & it was shady. He didn't want Christina talking to him just yet. Not until Logan got his shit together.

"But.."

"But what?"

"I don't know." She shook her head. "I just wanna talk to him.." Carlos, in return, shook his head as well.

"Don't worry about it. Let's just think about Amanda right now." Christina silently nodded and waited along with the rest of the family.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the doctor came out to deliver the news on Amanda's state. After checking her, they concluded that she had alcohol poisoning. Then, the doctor pulled Mama and Papa aside. Everyone wasn't sure why, but Mama broke down and Papa looked more than pissed off.

"What's happening?" Felicia whispered to Christina, rocking Nico in her arms.

"YOU BETTER FIND THAT BOY OR ELSE I'M GONNA DO IT." Mama started yelling at everyone as she cried. Papa stayed behind her trying to calm her down. "NO,YOU BETTER FIND THAT DAMN BOY OR ELSE HURT MY BABY! HE HURT MY BABY!"

"Ma, what is happening?" Christina and Felicia ran over to comfort their mother.

"HE RAPED MY BABY!"

_He couldn't have. _But Christina knew it was possible. The room. The alcohol. Him buckling his pants up when she walked in.

_Cameron raped her babysister. _

"Mama, please." Felicia yelled to calm her down. They couldn't help but cry. She was living. And she was alright. But they couldn't imagine their babysister getting that much damage down to her. Who in their right mind would even think about raping Amanda? She didn't do anything to deserve that shit.

_Yet, that's what happened._

"Mama, don't worry about. We'll get that boy. We promise you, alright?" Rodney came over to comfort her.

"He'll get his. I promise you, mama." Carlos pulled her into a hug and let her cry on his shoulder. Logan and Kendall continued to shush her and promise her that they were going to help make sure this boy got what he deserved.

So, Christina couldn't understand why everything was happening all at once again. It was like a repeat of last year. Except her little sister was involved & her and Logan were no longer. She didn't know what to do. And at this point, she knew she had to put herself last. & she had to help the family cope with this.

_He should be brought to Court._

He really should. But she didn't know how Amanda would feel about that. All the emotions were felt in the room – anger, hurt, frustration, revenge.

_Logan._

And then Christina started to feel even worse. She really needed Logan. And she absolutely missed him. She hated the fact that they were the way they were. This would be a good time to cry on his shoulder. Since she always had him there to help her through whatever, it was different .. and kind of hard for her to go through all of this alone. She's not saying she's dependent on Logan. But it was one of those things where he became her other half, so everything automatically became his problem too. She didn't have to ask him to help, he would just be there whenever she needed him too.

_But now it was just her._

She really wanted to talk to him. Even if Carlos would be against it.. she _needed _to. She had enough of acting tough when deep inside, that wasn't the case.

Mama and Papa decided they would stay with Amanda and since visiting hours were over, the doctor didn't allow the rest to say goodbyes to Amanda. They would have to see her tomorrow. As everyone was saying goodbyes, Christina wasn't sure if she should say bye to Logan.

For one thing, he was glued to his phone as they were walking out. Which made her curious. Two, they barely looked at each other. Three, the awkward tension was all she felt so she wasn't sure if it was in her place to approach him. If he really wanted to, he would have approached her first.

He didn't.

So that just made it clear that she should let it be.

Making her way home was a lonely one. She wanted to go straight to bed and just start a new day, hoping everything was fine. But it wasn't. Amanda was in the hospital recovering from serious damage & well, there was Logan. Something seemed different about him. But she didn't want to overthink anything because it was already getting to the best of her.

After putting on her pajamas, she slipped herself in bed, Mochi following right behind her and taking Logan's place in the bed. Her mind was preventing her from sleeping, although she was beyond tired. It was about to be dawn and she had work. On top of that, she was still deciding whether or not she was gonna text Logan. Call him. Something. But she really wanted to just hear his voice. And hear him say everything was gonna be okay & that he would talk to her later on.

Well, _fuck it._

She picked up the phone and pressed his name under her contacts. It rang about four times. And just as she was about to hang up, the ringing stopped.

"Wait, shhh. No, no." He laughed, followed by a girl's giggle in the background. "Stop it. You know I need to sleep, we cant do it again cutie. Im tired."

Christina hung up.

That was dumb of her. Now she was crying her ass off, wondering if he had found someone else or if he was just fucking around with different girls. That wasn't the Logan she knew. She knew he was different. That's probably why Carlos prevented her from talking to him all this time. Why didn't Carlos just tell her?

_That killed her. A lot. _

She didn't wanna think about it. She wanted to act like she never called.

No.

She wanted to act like he didn't exist. Because that was some serious bullshit. If he was sleeping around, he could say goodbye to them. For good.

_Fuck that. She deserved better._

Starting from now, she couldn't help but _**dislike **_the guy. Even after that, she couldn't hate him. They went through too much for her to hate him. But fuck, she felt played. She was moping around, crying over him this whole time & he was over here, doing whatever he wanted to. Made no sense to her. That's why he's been avoiding her. Or at least, that's what it seemed like.

No.

She's gonna move on. Keep him in the past. If he wanted her, he would try and win her back. She was tired of doing all the work.

_He could miss her with that bullshit._

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><p><strong>Reviews are much appreciated! (:<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello guys! Thank you so much for the reviews/alerts. I really appreciate them; thank you, thank you, thank you! You guys are amazing & my motivation. So here's another chapter for you. Kind of a filler, maybe? A little. Haha.**

**The song featured in here is Doing It Wrong - Drake. A really good song, so I recommend you listen to it. It was kind of my inspiration for a part of this chapter.**

**Happy Reading!**

**Disclaimer: I dont own BTR or any songs.**

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><p>Christina was quietly walking around the floor; her eyes puffy, her body heavy, her eyes droopy. Just a couple of hours ago she was crying. Hard. And because of that, she barely got any sleep, maybe an hour or two. But definitely not enough to be standing and working at the moment. She groggily walked into the break room and grabbed her lunch from the fridge. As soon as she closed the fridge, she dropped her lunch onto the floor.<p>

"Fuck." She mumbled. She had a simple sandwich that had now fallen apart.

"Go home." Dr. Davis stood at the door, with his arms crossed. Christina was never like this, so he knew she must've been dealing with more than a person could handle.

"Huh?" She turned around after throwing her lunch away. "But I'm fine—"

"No, you aren't Christina. Go home. Rest. You need it." Christina gave him a small smile.

"Alright. Thanks Dr. Davis." He nodded.

"Whatever it is Christina, it'll be fine." She nodded back and grabbed her things before leaving. She was actually glad he could tell she wasn't feeling it right now. She just wanted to curl up in bed. Well after she visited her sister. But that's all she ever wanted to do. She kind of wanted to talk to Carlos too.

Ask why he didn't tell her the truth. & why he kept it for so long. Well, for however long Logan's been doing it.

She thought of it in two ways: One, she wasn't good enough for the truth. Two, he didn't want to hurt her. But come on, it was Carlos – the first option would never be. So many things raced her mind, it was hard to focus on the shit on front of her. She just wanted to know.. _why? _& _how could Logan do this to her?_

She knew she was wrong at some point of their breakup. She admits it. But was their situation that bad that he had to do this? Again, _she knew she was wrong. _But did he know he was?

No one knew what was going on in Logan's head anymore. Not even his own boys.

Christina drove over to the hospital Amanda was at. Felicia had texted her saying her, Rodney, Nico, Mama and Papa were still there. When she walked in, Amanda was awake, and the family was avoiding the subject. They were mainly asking how she felt and if she needed anything. As if the whole alcohol poisoning and Cameron rape situation wasn't there.

"Hey baby, how are you?" Mama came over to hug Christina. Mama knew Christina wasn't the same either. Her and Papa were both confused as to why her and Logan all of a sudden split. They had gone through so much before, why couldn't they get over this one misunderstanding? But they didn't wanna bring it up either. They knew it was a tender topic & that they just needed to be there for her.

"I'm good, Ma."

"You sure you're doing okay? Do you need anything?" Christina chuckled.

"Honestly, I'm fine mom. I dont need anything. I promise."

"Alright. Just let me and papa know okay?" Christina nodded. She said her hi's to Rodney, Felicia and Nico, and after that, asked if she could have her alone time with Amanda. She knew it was probably too soon to talk about it. But honestly, Christina just wanted to get to the bottom of this and at least _fix one thing that was wrong in her life. _

Once everyone left and closed the door, Christina pulled a chair next to Amanda's bed.

"Hey babygirl, how are you feeling?" Christina asked softly, brushing the hair out of her face.

"Im doing better. I cant really eat anything though. And im starving. As soon as I get out of here, I'm making Mama and Papa go straight to In-N-Out." Christina laughed. This girl would never change, even if everything around her did. Christina was certain this would leave an imprint on her life. Things wouldn't be the same for Amanda anymore. And she was beyond happy Amanda wasn't going to let that get in the way.

"Of course you are." Amanda smiled and returned her attention to Christina. It was silent for a minute until Christina had the guts to ask. "Amanda.."

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember what happened last night?"

"Well. I do remember getting really fucked up. Cameron kept telling me to take drinks. And I don't know. I was stupid. I kept taking it. Even though I knew it would be all bad since it was my first time drinking like that."

"Do you remember anything else?" Amanda looked down and slightly nodded.

"He pushed me onto the bed. I didn't want to. But he was already on top of me. I asked if he had protection and he didn't answer. I couldn't fight him off. Sooner or later, I just felt the pain." Christina looked down as she felt a tear or two drop down. She was surely going to go after that boy, with the rest of the family behind her.

"It's okay Amanda.."

"It's not, Christina. I didn't want it to happen that way. I pictured my first time to be something.. happy. Magical. Not like this. And what sucks is that I got the bruises to prove it. That shit went wrong that night."

"I don't wanna hear you talk like that.."

"But it did!" Amanda had tears falling down her eyes. "Christina as much as I want to be okay, I'm not. I never imagined this to happen to me. I want to act fine, but im not. _Everything's just not the same._ I'm gonna live my life, but differently this time.. because I have to live in fear. Thinking that maybe this person would hurt me, or this person would do the same thing Cameron did. _It's not fair_. I cant listen to someone yell or call me names, or even touch me without flinching now. It's a scar." Christina couldn't help but cry. This wasn't fair for Amanda. And she was scared for her. She didn't want her to live her life like this. At all. & She knew it was up to them to make sure she would get past it.

"Baby, I'm so sorry.." Christina rubbed her hand. Amanda shook her head and sniffed.

"No, you didn't do anything Stina. You were there to save me and I thaaank God you were. It was stupid of me. I shouldn't have trusted him… It's just that.. He came onto me so much that it all _**seemed so real.**_"

"I know what you mean." Christina softly mumbled as she looked down. Everything about her and Logan seemed so real; Maybe at one point it was.. but now, she didn't understand. "We're gonna help you get through this alright?" Her grip on Amanda's hand got harder.

"I know."

".. Bring him to court."

"Cameron?" Her eyes widened. "I-I cant."

"Why?"

"I'm scared."

"Scared of what?"

"I cant go against him. I wont have the guts to. Im scared he'll come after me."

"Don't worry about that, you have us. We'll definitely make sure he doesn't get close to you ever again. But think about it."

"I-I don't know… I wont be able to speak up. Defend myself. He'll win that case easily. By the time we bring him to court all my proof will be gone." Christina shook her head. She knew that was true. Bringing someone to court took time and patience. And well, the bruises Amanda had didn't act the same way. She was sure that was the only proof she had.

Or she could ask that one guy who helped her bring Amanda to the car. But what would he know? He was busy keeping his house in tact while throwing a really good party at the same time.

_Fuck. This signaled a dead end. _Christina was tired of dead ends. There had to be a way.

But she wasn't gonna pressure Amanda anymore. It was becoming too much & she knew Amanda wouldn't be able to get through it. She had to talk to Mama and Papa about this.

Just not today. It was still a tender topic.

_Fuck Cameron for hurting her sister like this. He was gonna get his._

"Alright baby. Alright. Let's just not think about it right now, okay?" Amanda nodded. Christina kissed her sister on her forehead and let the rest of the family in. Before leaving, Mama pulled her aside.

"Did she say anything?"

"Ma, she remembers. Just don't bring it up right now."

"I wont. But… is she okay?"

"Of course she isnt. She's scared Ma. She's gonna be scared for awhile. & You know its up to us to help her get past that." Mama nodded.

"We need to get that boy in jail. Lord knows how much I want him to suffer."

"I know. I asked her about bringing him to court. She's scared she wont be able to defend herself. And that he'll come after her."

"That boy will never get near her ever again. I swear to God, I will put a restraining order, ANYTHING to keep my baby safe."

"I know mom, but look. What are you gonna use as proof against him? Her bruises and scratches will be gone. Even if they arent, that isnt enough to win against him. He'll deny everything." Mama shook her head and crossed her arms.

"I don't know. I don't know. I need to talk to Papa about this." Christina shrugged.

"Well, alright."

"But anyways. How do you feel about a welcome home party for Amanda? A surprise welcome-home party?"

"That sounds good. First step to helping her get through this. Just us?"

"Well yeah & the guys too. You know, anyone else close to Amanda. I'm talking about r_eal _close though."

"Sounds good."

"Are you okay being in the same place with Logan? I kind of felt the tension last night." Mama put a hand on Christina's arm.

"I'm fine. It's happened before. So. I mean, I'm sure I can do it."

"Well alright. Just checking."

"Plus it would be kind of mean to invite the rest of the guys and not him."

"True, true. Alright baby. We'll talk more later. You get some rest." Christina kissed and hugged her family goodbye before heading back home. She was definitely gonna take another nap right when she got home.

That's if her mind lets her.

She took a long, hot shower to feel more relieved. Her body felt heavy, full of burdens and stress. After long enough, she tired her wet hair in a messy bun. She slipped on a blue v-neck "boyfriend" tee from Victoria Secret. She had on some boy shorts and since she was alone, she could careless about walking around in her undies. She slipped herself into bed and called for Mochi to sit next to her. She watched some tv, _hoping she would slowly feel herself getting sleepy._

She was getting there after awhile, until someone decided to call her.

_**Carlos.**_

"Hello?"

"Hey Stina, are you at work?"

"Nah, Dr. Davis let me out early."

"Oh, are you with Amanda then?"

"I was earlier."

"Shucks. Alright."

"Why?"

"We're about to make our way over to the hospital. I was hoping I'd see you there and talk to you about how you were doing."

"Oh, yeah. I'm at home now."

"Do you want me to stop by after we're done visiting Amanda?"

"Actually, yeah. That sounds good."

"Alright I'll talk to you later."

_**Click.**_

_When a good thing goes bad it's not the end of the world  
>It's just the end of a world that you had with one girl<br>And she's the reason it happened, but she's overreacting  
>And it's all because she don't want things to change<em>_._

She could finally ask him what the deal was. She didn't wanna hear it. At all. But she had to. At least this way, it give her passage to moving on. Is that what she wanted? Not really. But she didn't want to be crying over somebody who was becoming messy. Messy as in going around and having sex with random females to make himself feel better. The worse part? She knew he probably would lie about it. Deny everything. Not only to her, but to his other females.

Why was he becoming this way?

_So cry if you need to, but I can't stay to watch you  
>That's the wrong thing to do<br>Touch if you need to, but I can't stay to hold you  
>That's the wrong thing to do<br>Talk if you need to, but I can't stay to hear you  
>That's the wrong thing to do<br>Cause you say you love me, and I'll end up lying  
>And say "I love you too"<em>

Maybe she needed someone else. Maybe this was really the end of **Lostina.** It was the worse feeling in the world to have someone make you feel as if you were ontop of the world.

And then all of a sudden, just drop you. And you have to act like you don't care at all. That's what she was trying to do. It was all routine. She knew if he ever came back to her, she'd be willing to let him back in. But she wouldn't know. She wouldn't know if everything he would say to her would be true. She'd end up meaning everything from the bottom of her heart & _She was scared he'd lie about his feelings, just to let her hear what she wanted to ._

She knew he was capable of doing that. He's done so much damage to her before, he could do this to her too.

_But I need someone different  
>You know it, oh oh , you know it<br>Oh oh, you know it, we both know it  
>I need someone different<br>You know it, oh oh, you know it  
>Oh oh, you know it, we both know it<br>Something's been missing  
>You know it, oh oh, she knows it alll<br>Oh oh, I know it, we all know it  
>I need someone different<br>(Ooh,Oooh)_

But why? Before, he was telling her how special she was. How much he loved her. How much he couldn't see himself with anyone else but her. That's exactly why he asked her to marry him. Because he was set with her. It would be them, even after death.

Just thinking about the words she remembers him saying kills her deeply inside, and she cries. She was gonna be honest with herself – she didn't want to move on. She still wanted him. And she'll always want Logan. Even if he continued to hurt her. Even if she decides to get revenge on him and fuck him over too. She'll still want doesn't feel anything with anyone else. **Only him.**

Christina just wishes he could fight too. Well, the main reason why they were apart was because of her doing too much with the wedding. So she was right for fighting to win him back.

But it kills her knowing that she fights for him .._ only to push him away even further._

_We live in a generation of not being in love, and not being together  
>But we sure make it feel like we're together<br>cause we're scared to see each other with somebody else_

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><p>She didn't realize she fell asleep from all that crying until Carlos blew up her phone. He wouldn't stop calling.<p>

"Hello?"

"Shittt, finally!"

"Sorry, I was asleep."

"Oh.. Well in that case, just—"

"No its fine, I'm up now." She chuckled. "Whatsup?"

"Well I've been sitting in my car wondering what you wanted from Chipotle. Cause I'm here right now getting some food for us."

"Oh. Well, a burrito bowl is good."

"Chicken, yeah?"

"Mhm. Just lettuce sour cream and cheese too."

"Kay cool, I'll be there in like, 10 minutes."

& in 10 minutes, he sure was there. He gave Christina the tightest, yet the best hug she's received in awhile. They ate in silence for a bit, watching tv. She wasn't sure how she should bring up the whole thing because one, he doesn't know she gave in and called him. Two, its just an awkward topic to think about. Just imagining how he would take it was awkward for Christina. But she had to know.

"So how's everything with the album?"

"Aw man, it's great. Everything's going smoothly."

"That's good, I'm seriously really proud of you guys." She smiled at him.

"Thanks Stina. Hows everyone at the hospital?"

"Good. Still goin' strong. Little troopers." They chuckled.

"That is true though. What about you?"

"What about me?"

"How are you doing?" He looked at her. It was time for some serious shit to be handled and Christina took a deep breath before proceeding.

"Uhm, alright. Just a mess afer this Amanda thing happened. I didn't need another thing to add onto my stress. But I mean, it's here now."

"You'll get through it. I mean we're all here for each other." Christina nodded. "Mom tell you about the party?"

"Yeah, I'm guessing she'll give me the rest of the info later." _Silence. _They ate the last remaining bits of their food. Christina was nervous. She didn't know how to approach this. She figured she should just go at it, or else she'll never know. "Carlos?"

"Whatsup?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you about what Christina?"

"Why didn't you tell me he was sleeping around with other females.." She mumbled as she looked down, fiddling with the fork in her hand. Carlos sighed and got up from his seat on the floor to pace around the living room.

"I'm sorry Christina.. I really wanted to. I did.. How'd you find out?"

"Don't get mad at me please?" He nodded. "I gave in. I called him. And he must've accidentally picked up because I heard him talking to some girl."

"Christina…" He softly said. But he was mad. "That was the reason why I prevented you from even talking to him. Because I knew! And didn't want you to get hurt."

"But it hurts even more knowing that you kept this from me.." She looked down, hoping Carlos wouldn't see her crying. But he did. He was frustrated with himself because he knew that it was wrong of him to keep it from her. But it would be wrong to rat his bestfriend out. So James' opinion was better than anything. He had to let it be. He had to. & He was hoping Christina would understand.

"Christina, you know I wouldn't want to do that. I didn't want to. I really wanted to tell you. I wanted to help you move on. Stop you from hurting over somebody who was doing you wrong. But James told me to let things be. To let both of you experience it for yourselves because it would be wrong of me to call him out too. Please.. just understand where I'm coming from. It was hard for me to be in the middle." He pulled her into a hug and let her cry on him. That was the least he could do for her.

_So cry if you need to, but I can't stay to watch you  
>That's the wrong thing to do<br>Touch if you need to, but I can't stay to hold you  
>That's the wrong thing to do<br>Talk if you need to, but I can't stay to hear you  
>That's the wrong thing to do<br>Cause you say you love me, and I'll end up lying  
>And say "I love you too"<em>

"Why is he doing this.." She mumbled in his arms.

"I don't know. I really don't know. When I first found out, he didn't tell me. I had to hear it for myself." She cried harder. "I know its hard. And trust me Stina, what he's doing pisses me off too. He's stupid. But what can you do? Let him make this mistakes on his own. Just do me a favor.."

"Hm?" She wasn't crying as hard.

"Stop chasing him and move on."

She was gonna stop him chasing him. She definitely was after all of this. She was gonna let him come to her. But.. she didn't think she would. She had to hope he would. She still wanted him and she was never gonna move on. She couldn't. Yes, after everything. She wanted him. She was hurting and she wanted him. It sounded so wrong, but so right at the same time.

"_Just.. stop chasing him.."_

_But I need someone different  
>You know it, oh oh , you know it<br>Oh oh, you know it, we both know it  
>I need someone different<br>You know it, oh oh, you know it  
>Oh oh, you know it, we both know it<br>Something's been missing  
>You know it, oh oh, she knows it alll<br>Oh oh, I know it, we all know it  
>I need someone different<br>(Ooh,Oooh)_

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><p><strong>Reviews are much appreciated. (:<strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys! So school just started up again. Boohoo, so I might be updating a bit slower than usual or I might this on hiatus until things lighten up. But like I said before, I wont leave you guys hangin' at alll! I'll try to get a lot of chapters down within this week, cos im pretty sure it'll be an easy week. Thank you again for the reviews and alerts! I love you guys!**

**Sorry this chapter is a bit short and a little on the "eh" side. I kind of rushed through it before finishing homework.**

**Happy Reading!**

**Disclaimer: I dont own BTR or any songs.**

* * *

><p>After Christina and Carlos had their sentimental talk, she went straight to sleep. She didnt wanna think about anything. She didnt wanna sink herself deeper into the hole she was in. She had enough. She was done. She couldnt go through this anymore and she shouldnt.<p>

Now here she was, setting up her parents' house for Amanda's Surprise Welcome Home party. She had to act like everything was perfectly normal.

When it wasnt.

She had so many emotions going on in her head that she didnt know if she was done or if she wasnt. One minute she thought she was, but the next, she was missing him all over again. So, that messed her up. But she told Mama everything would be fine after the countless times she asked; _"Christina, are you sure it'll be okay for Logan to be here?"_

A simply reply of "Yes, it's fine" was all it took, but that wasnt the case. She didnt wanna see him. She didnt want all those feelings to run back to her. She didnt wanna crumble in front of him.

So she was gonna try again tonight. She was gonna be the independent, strong girl she's been trying to be for the past couple weeks after they split. It was time for her to be that way.

After putting up all the decorations and setting up the food, a couple of Amanda's bestfriends/teammates came by, then Felicia, Rodney and Nico. It was a small group but It was all Amanda needed to get on her feet again.

"Mama!" Christina turned to the door hearing Carlos' voice. She felt the queazy feeling in her tummy and she didn't like it. Not one bit. But she wasn't going to give in.

"Hey, are you gonna be okay tonight sis?" Felicia asked, putting her hand on Christina's shoulder. Christina nodded in return.

"Yeah of course. I'll be fine."

"You sure? I mean, he's my boy and everything but if you need to keep your distance, just let me know.." Rodney added. She chuckled and nodded once more.

"I'm good guys. Really. Let me get through this on my own. I got it." Felicia gave her sister a small smile and nodded before continuing to get some food.

"Hey Logan, how are you doing?" Christina heard Mama ask in the back.

"I'm.. doing alright. Could be better." Logan replied with his chuckle. _Lies. _She knew he was good without her. He was fucking around with other chicks. That kind of just made her even more angry. It made her want to let go of him even more.

As the time progressed, Mama finally got the text from Papa saying that Amanda was checked out and that they would be on their way soon. The group crowded around the area Amanda would see first when she walks through the door. In between Christina and Logan was James and Carlos. Even being that far from him made her feel the awkward tension.

How did they get this way?

She still didn't understand. What she definitely didn't understand was how he became that way.

_What the fuck ever. _

It's dumb. And it makes her irate. So she's gonna stop.

"SHH. SHE'S HERE!" The crowd hushed up as soon as Mama rose her voice to warn the group. As soon as the door opened, the group yelled out "SURPRISE!" making Amanda wide-eyed. Sooner or later, she had tears coming down from her eyes and she made her way to the group to give her hugs. Christina was glad her sister was back. She was happy to see Amanda glowing; as if nothing came across her way.

But she knew she was still hurting inside. And she was still scared. But Christina and the family was going to make sure that she would get past it. She definitely wanted to make sure her sister came out stronger than before.

_Fuck Cameron, _she thought. Why did he even think about doing this to her? THAT she didn't understand as well. Why was the world so complicated? Full of problems. But the only way to get through them is to know that you'd learn a shitload from going through these bumps.

As they got the party started, the music was blasting loudly. The Giants vs. Niners football game was on in the livingroom, full of guys watching it with beers in their hands. Girls were gossiping and dancing to the music playing by the kitchen. Christina was somewhat drowning herself in shots/beer. She wanted to let loose again. If anything, she could crash at her parents' house anyways. Anyone was welcome to and her parents always encouraged the DD policy, which meant if you were to drink at least have a designated driver or crash at the house. Those were the only options. She was certain that most of them were gonna be sleeping over since everyone was helping themselves to handles and beers here and there.

No one brought up anything about what happened to Amanda. No one wanted to, and everyone was sure this was the wrong time to bring it up. Even if there was no party, it would be too soon. So that topic was not spoken of. Everyone disregarded the whole drama and awkwardness between Logan and Christina as well. Christina could tell people were trying to get her away from it.. and well Logan, she was sure he didn't care. He was doing his own thing already so why would he even think about Christina?

He does think about her though. He questions his actions himself. But he gives up everytime he realizes Christina's "done" with him.

It's difficult. They're both on two opposite pages.

But they both were gonna leave that alone.

Everyone had their own amount of drinks, but they were all getting to the point of tipsy and no return. Christina was dancing with Felicia while Mama had Nico. The guys were yelling at the tv while the Giants and the Niners were going overtime. It was crazy. Amanda was hanging out with her friends, chilling in the pool area and such.

"Christina how much did you drink?" Felicia asked as her sister was making her dance with her.

"Not that much!" Christina chuckled. "You must think I'm drunk but I'm not!" Christina added as she stopped dancing and began to frown.

"Oh god, whatever you say." Felicia replied. As they danced, Christina looked at Logan at the corner of her eye. He would glance at her once in awhile, but return his attention to the tv when the guys began to yell again. _She was glad she was getting his attention. _But she was happier to know that she wouldn't give in. She had enough of strength in her to make him want it, but not give it to him. She wanted to see him work for it.

When the game finished, the guys came over to either chill in the back with Amanda or dance for awhile with the family. Christina was done dancing so she made her way outside to sit by the pool area to look at the view they had in the backyard. Logan was inside, enjoying his time playing video games with Rodney and Kendall. James was simply in and out but he decided to stay in and watch the guys make a fool of themselves playing Just Dance on the Kinect for xbox.

When Christina was hanging out with people outside, she was enjoying the time to herself, looking at the view.

"HEYYYY!" Carlos said walking out.

"Whaatsup Carlitos!" Amanda replied with her friends giggling. Carlos walked over to Christina. That's when she realized he was pretty tipsy too. It was easy to tell when he was tipsy. But then again, when is it NOT easy to tell when someone's under an influence? She chuckled and watch him stand next to her admiring the view.

"Man, it's something aint it?"

"Definitely." He smiled looking at the view before turning his attention to Christina.

"Here." He gestured her to get up. He sat down and patted his legs for her to sit on. _Without thinking, _she sat on him, allowing him to hug her from behind as they looked at the view. Amanda noticed the two getting into cupcake mode, and she couldn't help but laugh in shock because one, she knew they were both tipsy. Two, it was funny because Christina and Carlos? That's not something people would expect.

"Well thanks for stealing my seat." Christina giggled on Carlos' lap.

"Hey, You have a seat. Don't even." He laughed behind her. He looked up at her for awhile until she felt his eyes on her. She looked down at him and giggled.

"What are you looking at?"

"You?"

"What about me?"

"You're really pretty. Logan's dumb." He chuckled. "He's really dumb."

"Well.. You know there's some people who don't realize things right away."

"Don't worry about it." Carlos said softly. He almost said it in a whisper, which kind of made Christina cringe. In a weird way though. Not ultimately bad.

_Then it just happened._

Her lips were on his. For awhile too. And once they pulled away, they liked it. And giggled about it. They continued to sit there admiring the view. Christina honestly had no care in the world.

But at the same time, she didn't really know what she was doing.

So she went about throughout the whole party thinking she was free from all her problems, enjoying her time with everyone until it was time to crash.

That wasn't the case. She didn't know the problems would get worse from here.

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><p><strong>Reviews are much appreciated! (:<strong>


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey guys! I'm sorry it's been awhile, but I finally found time to do a chapter. Sorry it's kind of short, but like I said, I dont like putting all the drama in one chapter. But enjoy! Thanks for the reviews/alerts. (:**

**Happy Reading.**

**Disclaimer: I dont own BTR.**

* * *

><p>So that was it.<p>

They kissed. And they didn't even remember it happening like that.

Well, they remember kissing each other. But they didn't think it would be all .. _**like that. **_Even if they were both under some alcholic influence, they could have easily stopped it from happening.

And so they still kissed.

The good thing was that it wasnt awkward for them at all. Carlos and Christina were just _**confused. **_She was wondering why his lips gave her that tingly feeling when it reached hers. She knew she didn't like him like that. Maybe. But she felt good about that kiss. Carlos was thinking the same thing. Well, he knew he couldn't do that to his boy Logan. Regardless of the stupid shit he's been pulling, but he can't help but make her feel happy when _he _wasnt around.

Woops. They didnt think it was gonna be like this. But, they both agreed that it was hard to be awkward around each other. They always had good vibes.

It still shouldnt have happened that way though. It wasnt supposed to be like this because now, _everything's beyond twisted._

"Jesus Christina, you have priorities all over the place." Felicia said washing the dishes in Christina's sink.

"Ugh, Felicia, stop. I called you over so I could vent, not for you to pick on me." Christina dug her head onto her knees as they were pulled up to her chest.

"What were you even thinking though? Kissing Carlos..." Felicia said coming over to sit back on the couch next to her sister. Christina continued to stay quiet. "Stina, serious question."

"I dont know okay! I mean, I wasnt beyond drunk that I didnt know what I was doing, but .. I guess it just happened?" Felicia rolled her eyes.

"Ridiculous."

"What! That's the only way I can explain it."

"That wasnt even an explanation-"

"Wow, okay Felicia, really? You're worse than mom." Christina yelled as her head was still dug onto her knees.

"Sorry! But what are you going to do? What if Logan finds out. You know damn well you two still need to work things out."

"I dont know. I dont care anymore."

"Really now."

"Well okay maybe I do. But, Logan's moved on. He's doing his own thing. It's clear. Period."

"So you're gonna move onto his bestfriend."

"No one said I was moving onto Carlos. Just because we accidentally kissed doesnt really mean anything."

"You dont know that forsure Christina."

"I'm positive."

"Alright, then don't come cryin' to me sayin' you caught feelings for the guy."

"Whatever."

* * *

><p>"Soo, you kissed her." James said keeping his eye on the ball he was throwing up in the air in Carlos' room.<p>

"Shutup."

"Do you like her?"

"Christina? No. No way."

"I'm sure you dont." Carlos' eyes widened as they burned James down with a stare. Hard, too.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Just because I kissed her doesnt mean I wanna be more than friends with her."

"Get real, Carlos. Do you like her or not."

"I dont. Well, I dont know. But even if I do, I cant. Cause of Logan."

"Good boy." James caught the ball and finally looked at Carlos. Carlos bit his thumb and sat on his bed thinking about the situation. He couldnt be in this situation, and he knew Christina shouldnt be in this situation because it would be even worse for her. But they couldnt help it, what's done, _is done. _And he knew it was only a matter of time that Logan would find out.

Not only about their kiss. But about everything.

How he's been seeing Christina just to cheer her up and make her happy. How she found out about the shady shit Logan's beeen doing and Carlos clearly was the only source. How Carlos has been on her side more than Logan's.

Just thinking about it kind of made Carlos feel uncomfortable. Queasy, almost. He was over here preaching about how dumb and ridiculous Logan's been acting but hey, he was doing about the same damage to his bestfriend. With his _old girl. _Now, being there for a close friend is what Carlos is right for. But after the kiss, that's when the story changes because his feelings change. Her feelings change. Everything changes.

And they can't really turn back to reverse the process.

"Goddamit James. Why me."

"Whatsup buddy?"

"I'm such a bad bestfriend. I think i've been there for Christina a little too much. That's how this kiss happened. And ugh, God. I've been preaching about how horrible Logan is. I kissed his ex! Who I'm sure he's not over at all. It's only a matter of time that he founds out about everything."

"Okay, I think you're over thinking this situation. You were the only one Christina could turn to between all of us. I mean, im cool with her. She's cool with Kendall. But you and her have this relationship that's on a diffferent level. So you guys kissed. Once. Shit happens. You guys weren sober-"

"But James. You know alcohol's never an excuse."

"Okay, alright. But still. It wasnt like you guys had a one night stand."

"Sure feels like it." James rolled his eyes.

"It was a kiss. And im sorry it had to happen this way. Shit just gets more complicated from here, I know. I get what you're saying. But what can you do? If he finds out, just be real with him."

"Well.. I mean.. I guess. That's the only thing I could do. Lying would make everything worse."

"Yeah. Honestly Carlos, what else can you do?"

_But then it was wrong timing. _Logan was in his room flipping through his channels when he saw something iffy. Or at least, something that caught his eye and made him want to flip back to the entertainment news.

_**Carlos Garcia and Christina Vega: A New Thing? Reporters lately have spotted the BTR heartthrob and Logan Mitchell's Ex Fiancee spending a lot of time together. Could this be a new couple? How would Logan feel about his bestfriend dating his ex fiancee?**_

Logan knew he was wrong. He knew he was a dumbass and a douchebag for fucking and getting with other girls to get over Christina. But none of it worked. At all. Whenever he fucked around with someone, all he could think about was her. And only her.

So seeing this made him mad. Beyond mad. Pissed the fuck off.

One, he couldnt understand why Carlos would do such a thing. Out of all people, Carlos? Two, he must have turned Christina against him. He knew Carlos knew about what he was doing. Three, why did Christina do this to him? He knew he deserved it. But why with his bestfriend.

_Fucking people these days, _He thought. _Unbelievable. _He threw his remote to the side and got up from his bed to make his way to Carlos' room. He needed to confront him. He wasnt going to promise that he wouldnt hit him, but he needed to confront him sooner or later.

_"But James, I might be over-thinking stuff, but I kissed her. It's still something." _He heard outside the door. **And it was over at that point.**

"Carlos, fuck you. Fuck you, I swear to God." Logan rose his voice as he barged into the room.

"Logan, calm down." James stood up but was easily pushed back down when Logan got in Carlos' face.

"Logan I can explain."

"Fuck you, I don't wanna hear your fucking explanations!" He pushed Carlos, making Carlos push him back.

"Don't fucking push me, Logan! If it wasn't for you, none of this shit would have happened!"

"Oh, so it's me?"

"Yeah, if you weren't being such a fucking dumbass then none of this shit would have happened with Christina!" Logan swung his fist at him but Carlos blocked it in time and attempted to swing his fist back.

"HEY HEY, STOP." James got in the middle.

"What's going on in here?" Kendall popped in, confused.

"You don't know how to respect anything for shit Carlos!"

"I don't? You don't realize what you have until shit happens! Get your fucking head in the game, you've been acting stupid and selfish." Logan swung at him one more time and Kendall and James managed to pull them back before things got worse.

"GUYS, QUIT IT. NOW. You guys shouldn't even be fighting like this. That's not what bros are for." Kendall roared. The two settled down a bit, but they were still struggling to get out of the grip they were in.

"No. He's not my bro. Keep him the fuck away from me." Logan said to Kendall, but said it loud enough to make sure Carlos heard him. Carlos mugged him as Logan was let out of Kendall's grip and walked away to his room, slamming the door. Once he was in his room, James let go of Carlos and immediately, Carlos slammed his hand against the wall in frustration.

"What the hell is going on between you two?"

"Forget it Kendall. Im not trying to talk about it right now."

"Alright Carlos, alright." James nodded to Kendall and they left him in his peace.

"Whats the deal, James?"

"This whole Christina thing is just too much." Kendall let out a big sigh. He was worried. One, of course for Christina because this was already too much for him. He couldn't imagine Christina going through this by herself. This shit was going to be everywhere for awhile. Two, his boys. He cant have them hate each other like this. Three, on top of them being mad at each other, Kendall was worried this would tear them apart.

_He cant have that. He didn't want that. _He loved Christina as a sister and all, but this couldn't be happening because of her. Not at all.

Logan hung his head by the window to get some air. It was hot. Way too hot. And he let out a few breaths of relief to get his heart back to normal. He couldn't believe this. He didn't wanna be mad at Carlos but at the same time, it made his blood boil every time he thought about Carlos kissing Christina and spending time with her.

_Through everything, that was still his job. _Well, at least he still felt like it was his place to be doing that. Not Carlos.

Goddamit.

He was mad. He wanted to confront Christina too. Not like he did with Carlos. He just wanted to hear her side.

_Her voice._

_**Ring, Ring, Ring.**_

"Uh..Hello?"

"Are you going to be home later?"

"Yeah…" Christina replied awkwardly. He hated it. It made him want to talk to her even more.

"Im coming over."

"For what, Logan?"

"Because I want to?"

"Why?"

"Christina, quit it. I'm coming over. I need to talk to you."

"Uh okay." _**Click.**_

Well. He wasn't too sure if he was ready for this. But what's done is done. He's gonna talk to her.

_He's scared._

_That things might change forever._

_For the better. Or for the worse._

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><p><strong>Reviews are much appreciated. (:<strong>


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey guys! I found time to write a chapter for you lovely readers out there. Thank you so much for being patient with me and for sending this story so much love. It is very much appreciated; definitely keeps me motivated to continue writing for you guys. **

**I hope you guys enjoy this chapter.**

**The song featured in this chapter is: Bedtime Story – Frank Ocean.**

**Happy Reading!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own BTR or any songs.**

* * *

><p>Christina was scared. She wasnt sure if she should feel happy that Logan was coming or if she should be frustrated that he was finally trying to talk to her. What was going on? He was mad. She knows Logan and he was mad. Or at least frustrated when he was on the phone. If it was about Carlos, he could go somewhere else with that bullshit. She could easily turn the tables on him.<p>

But she was tired of arguing. She just wanted to talk to him. A civil conversation. She missed him. She really did. And she wasnt going to ignore the fact that Carlos definitely made up for him being stupid.

It's just that.. it's Logan. Their relationship was above and beyond, for the most part. She loved him. And she knows she'll always love him. There's no doubt about it.

"I dont know what to do.." Christina mumbled onto her knees.

"Just talk to him. There isnt anything else you could do. Keep cool." Felicia added. "What time is he coming?"

"I dont know.. He said later. But I'm sure its soon."

"Well. I guess I should go then. Just call me if anything."

"Felicia dont leave!" Christina was nervous. She needed her sister right now, but at the same time she knew it wasnt supposed to burder her sister. She didnt want to.

"Christina.." Felicia felt sympathetic. "You'll be fine. Trust me. You need to talk to him." Christina sighed.

"Okay."

"Call me, text me. Anything. I love you."

"Love you too."

With that, Felicia left. Christina felt alone. She held onto Mochi, but she still felt alone. And she was nervous. She didn't know what to feel. She was finally gonna talk to Logan.

After so long..

What could he possibly want to talk about? Honestly, Christina had no words. Nothing that would hold a conversation. So how was this going to work?

She was just gonna let it be until then. She tried watching tv and ended up falling asleep.

_Our pillows ain't giving no comfort  
>And the fan is blowing way too loud<br>Even my heartbeat wakes me up  
>And I can't drown it out<em>

_Cause my eyelids ain't heavy enough  
>And there ain't enough sheep on my ceiling to count<br>Ain't slept a wink since you left me  
>No inspiration to dream, baby<em>

She was dreaming. She was dreaming that they were still together. That the wedding was on and that they were moving into a dream house. Not a big huge barbie house, but a house just big enough for them and Mochi. They got married at the Malibu House and everything was the way it was supposed to be. Cinderella themed. Family. Happiness. Joy. All of the above.

_You're my bedtime story  
>Bedtime but I can't sleep<br>No bedtime story, bedtime story  
>Oh<em>

This is how it was supposed to be.

Not this mess they were in.

Christina doesn't even think they'll get back to the way they were after this Carlos drama.

_I never really liked this apartment, no  
>There's not enough windows<br>That ain't the reason you left  
>I did that by myself<br>But I wish you'd come back before the sun comes up again_

_Cause my eyelids ain't heavy enough  
>And there ain't enough sheep on my ceiling to count<br>Ain't slept a wink since you left me  
>No inspiration to dream, baby<em>

_**Knock knock knock.**_

She didn't think she was asleep for long, but when she turned to look at the clock, it was already 9pm. Where had the time gone? Well. She couldn't think about that now. Logan was at the door. She quietly got up, with Mochi in her arms and rubbed her eyes. She opened the door and her stomach dropped. Her heart dropped too.

She missed that face of his. His body. His swag. His everything.

"Hey." Christina quietly said as she stepped aside and let him in.

"Hey." He said quietly. He sat on her couch and she followed behind him, but remained standing after letting Mochi go.

"So.. how've you been?"

"Uh, alright. I guess. You?" Christina rolled her eyes. That annoyed her. He was great. He should've been great, at least, with all those hoes he's been playin' with.

"Fine." Logan rolled his eyes as well.

"Yeah, Im sure you've been. Especially with Carlos." Christina shook her head and scoffed.

"Don't even start with me. You were runnin' your game too."

"Right." Logan said sarcastically. But he knew it was true.

"Is that what you came here for? To interrogate me and run all this bullshit?" Her voice rose and he stood up.

"Actually, yeah. What's up with that? I had to sit my ass in bed and watch all these things about you and Carlos spending time together!"

"So what? He was helping me get through this shit you were putting me through!"

"Oh, so you kiss him?"

"YES I KISSED HIM. So the fuck what, Logan? Shit happens, right? I'm sure you know cause that's probably your excuse for every girl you've fucked since we've called it quits!"

"Why couldn't you just talk to me about this?"

"Oh, of course. No response to that last comment because you know its true. I didn't wanna talk to you about it because I thought you were completely done and it would've made no sense to talk to you." Christina was on the verge of tears.

"YES, it's true. I'll admit it. I had sex with plenty of girls since we've broken up. And I regretted it. But after all this Carlos bullshit, it kind of makes me feel fine with it." Christina was tearing up, inside and out. But Logan had the same, angry facial expression.

"Fuck you, Logan. Fuck you for doing this to me." Christina turned her back towards him and cried.

"I just don't get why. Why you couldn't talk to me. We could've settled everything from the moment we called it quits. We would have been together right now." His voice turned softer.

"I don't know, okay. I don't. I'm sorry."

"Why Carlos?"

"He was always there for me." This made Logan angry. That was supposed to be his job. Not Carlos'. "You know, Logan. Don't even turn this on me. The kiss isnt even half as bad as what you've done. Why would you even do that? You were never like that."

"I wasn't. But shit happens."

"What a great excuse. Whatever Logan. This is useless."

"Its fucked up."

"What?" Christina turned back around and looked at him. He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head.

"After everything I still want this." Christina shook her head.

"Logan. Really?"

"What do you mean? Yes really."

"You don't just come into my house and yell at me over shit and then claim you want me again. Fuck that! You fucked so many girls, how am I supposed to act like nothing happened? You're ridiculous. I'm over you being this way."

"Oh, okay Christina. Okay. I'm ridiculous? Lets not forget you kissed my bestfriend."

"This isnt getting anywhere. We obviously both fucked up, and we obviously both are doing our own thing. So.. please. I think it's best you leave."

"Whatever Christina. Fuck it. I tried."

"Logan, seriously. Leave. Please. This isnt working."

"So you're just gonna throw it all away. Im willing to drop everything."

"Well you know, I cant right now. You cant just come here and expect me to fall back in love with you." Christina instantly regretted saying it. She was still in love with him. She knew this. But she couldn't let go of everything he did. And she wasn't over her kiss with Carlos. She couldn't just drop everything like it didn't happen.

_You're my bedtime story  
>Bedtime but I can't sleep<br>No bedtime story, bedtime story  
>Oh<em>

Because they happened, alright.

_You gotta let me read just a page of you baby  
>You gotta help me sleep this ain't healthy, no way<br>Where's my bedtime story  
>Just three words to my bedtime story, bedtime story oh<em>

And it's not easy to have memories like this. It's never easy to remember things like this. Especially when you try to remember the good, but end up remembering the bad the most.

She loves him.

He loves her.

But maybe they're over for good. And maybe Christina's gonna go back to the way her life was before Logan and vice versa.

_Every time I lay my head down  
>Baby I, baby I, baby I'm thinking of you<br>Baby I-I'm thinking of you  
>Every time I lay my head down<br>Baby I, baby I, baby I'm thinking of you  
>Baby I-I'm thinking of you<em>

Who is she kidding. She loves the guy. It's just not the right time.

"Christina.." His voice was softer.

"Please." She was hurting. Logan can sense it. And it was staring to hover over to him too. _"__You cant just come here and expect me to fall back in love with you" _repeated in his head over and over again. He lost her. But he wasn't going to let her go for good.

Even though they didn't accomplish anything during their talk, he was certain he had to change. For the better. He really fucked up. And she was right. A kiss between her and Carlos didn't compare to the shit he's done.

And he's done some fucked up shit after their break up.

"Alright.." He threw up his hands and escorted himself out of the door. He reached the hallway and pounded his fist on it. Christina broke down in tears on her couch, with Mochi coming to her side.

As much as they both wanted this back, they didn't know how to get it back.

_Ain't slept a wink since you left me  
>No inspiration to dream<br>Baby you're my Bedtime story  
>Bedtime but I can't sleep<br>My bedtime story bedtime story  
>You gotta let me read just a page of you baby<br>You gotta help me sleep this ain't healthy, no way  
>Where's my bedtime story<br>Just three words in my bedtime story bedtime story oh_

_I love you_  
><em>I love you<em>

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><p><strong>Reviews are much appreciated. (:<strong>


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey guys! More free time = another chapter for you wonderful readers! Goodness. I love you all. Thank you so much for your positivity and love! Keeps me going. I can never say thank you enough!**

**The excerpt is from the song: Save Me – Nicki Minaj.**

**Happy Reading. (:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own BTR or any songs.**

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><p><em>It's not fair, <em>Christina thought. She wanted him back. All of her did. But she wasnt sure if he wanted her the same way. And if he wanted her just as bad as she did.

She still thought about Carlos, too.

They havent spoken in awhile. Or it seems. But she kind of longed for his comfort.

And so she calls.

"Hello?"

"Carlos." Christina said almost at a whisper.

"Stina... Hey, how are you?"

"Good. I guess. I just talked to Logan."

"Oh .. really?" His voice became dull. She wasnt sure if it was just her, but she sensed something was wrong.

"Yeah."

"How was that?"

"I dont know. He got on me about the kiss.. and then all of a sudden he wanted me back." Carlos slightly hissed and sighed.

"He would... Pathetic." He caught himself. He was supposed to keep that in his mind, not say it out loud. "Sorry. Im sorry. That was uncalled for." Christina shook her head.

"It's fine."

"So, I'm guessing you didnt take him back?"

"No.. It just doesnt feel right again. I have to fix stuff and he does too. I just feel like we dont know how to."

"Well. Do you want to be with him?"

"I do.. but I dont. I dont really wanna think about it now. Because it just confuses me and sends my mind into a frenzy. It's a mess."

"We know this." Carlos slightly chuckled, causing Christina to giggle a bit.

"Yeeaaah.." She sighed. "Carlos. I'm sorry for getting you into this mess. I'm really sorry about everything. You dont deserve this. You dont deserve to be in the middle."

"It's fine. I wouldn't be doing it for someone who wasn't worth it." She smiled. He always knew how to say the right things.

But this wasn't right at all. He cant be in this mess. It was between Christina and Logan. _And it will always be between Christina and Logan._

"Thanks." She slightly gave a giggle.

"No problem. Just take it easy okay? One day at a time."

"I will.. Well I'll let you go. I have to get off my break anyways."

"Alright. Just call me, beep me, if you wanna reach me." She chuckled.

"Alright."

"Bye Stina."

"Bye Carlos." _**Click. **_She wanted to get off of work. Maybe do some groceries. She always liked the feeling of filling her kitchen with more food. It gave her an uplifting mood. Plus grocery shopping and having her own time just gave her peace. Peace in her mind. Peace in general.

"So are you two still not speaking?" Will said next to her, coming out of nowhere.

"Well, he talked to me last night."

"About?"

"Okay.. you know how I told you about that kiss between me and Carlos?" Will nodded. "He scolded me for that and then all of a sudden wanted to get back with me. He wanted me back. Regardless of everything."

"And you said no..?"

"Yeah."

"Why? You love that kid to death."

"But that doesn't mean that everything will be fine. That everything will just go back to the way they used to be. Everything's fucked up Will. And it's so fucked up that things cant be undone. We cant just act like nothing happened."

"True. That's good thinking. You were always a smart one, Christina." Christina slightly smiled as she looked down.

"I still really do love him though. But.. I don't know if I'm_** in**_ love with him like I used to be."

"There's a difference?"

"Well yeah. To me, at least. I'll always love him more than anything. We went through a lot together. Even if we werent together as long as me and Shad were. Our relationship was on another level. But after all the shit he's done. After the shit I've done… Well.. after that kiss, I mean. Feelings get mixed up. You keep thinking about the bad over the good, and it pulls you away every time. That's why I leaned on Carlos. Because he was "the good."

"That's deep. But I understand what you're saying. Just take it easy, alright? Don't stress yourself out. Just remember that things will fall into place, even if it means you guys don't end up together again." Christina nodded. "On another note, how's Amanda?"

"She's good. I talked to her last night. School's alright for her. She still jumps here and there from random loud noises and touches, you know? I keep telling her to bring him to court. But she wont."

"Why not. That kid deserves hell for putting Amanda through all of that."

"Yeah, but it's not even that. She's scared. And I.. or we.. cant force her. Plus there's just not enough evidence."

"Trust me, there could be enough if you just get her to bring him to court."

"It's not happening anytime soon." Christina shrugged.

So many things were going wrong at once, and Christina wasn't sure how she could fix it all. She felt as if she was going backwards. Or not progressing at all. She was stuck in one place and she felt as if she was stuck there forever. She couldn't find her way out. The whole situation with Amanda was stuck. Even though she was recovering, Christina and the family didn't wanna leave it at that. They couldn't just leave Cameron "innocent" when he was nothing near that.

Christina loved Logan. But she couldn't let go of everything that happened, and it wasn't in their place to just forgive and forget. She would forgive, but she couldn't forget.. And she doubts he could too. As simple as the kiss was, Logan was never gonna forget. As simple as the kiss was, Carlos was never gonna forget. He made her happy. And that's another reason why she couldn't find her way out. _He was making her so happy it was hard to see Logan doing that again. _What if Logan couldn't provide anymore?

There were possibilities. But she knew it was dumb to think that way. They went out for a good amount of time.

They were about to get married.

So why was the choice so difficult?

_**Just make sure you recognize your own happiness.**_

She remembers Logan telling her that the very first time they kissed. On accident. While she was with Shad.

She was already falling in love with him then.

_Just not now. Everything was difficult._

After work, she did what she told herself she would do. She went grocery shopping at Whole Foods. Kendall always bragged about Whole Foods and eventually got Christina to go there once in awhile. Food was pricey, but food is always worth the money. She started grabbing her gallon of Vanilla Soy Milk, Greek yogurt, White Cheddar Pirate's Booty and some other necessities. She was slowly going in each aisle to make sure she wouldn't miss anything she wanted when her cart bumped into somebody.

"Oh my god, I'm so so—Shad?" He chuckled.

"Shit Christina, a 'lil dangerous behind that cart there?" She shook her head and chuckled.

"Sorry."

"No worries. Whatchu doing out here? You never shopped at Whole Foods so extensively before."

"Well, Kendall kind of got me into it." Christina shrugged and he chuckled some more.

"Alright, I see that. Well, how've you been? It's been awhile."

"It has. Uhm, I've been okay. Things have been getting crazy.. but I'm hangin' on."

"Same ol' Superwoman Christina. How's everything with you and Logan though? I been hearing about ya'll on the news.." Christina giggled.

"Never that. & uhm, well.. lets just say its complicated. Its all a part of the craziness going on. But how are you?"

"Oh, alright. Im good. Just keeping up with the season and what not."

"That's good, that's good. Always hardworking with basketball."

"Definitely. You just got off of work?"

"Yeah. I'm about to head home. I think I'm done here."

"Well alright. You should get some rest. You still have the same number right?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Alright I'll hit you up in a bit. But you have a good rest of your day, okay?" He smiled and she nodded. They quickly gave each other a hug and parted ways. She was glad Shad changed for the better. It made everything ten times better. Even if the guys and everyone else still hated him.

That was the least of her worries right now.

She loaded everything into the car and sped home. It was already turning 8 and she could've sworn she wasn't at Whole Foods for that long. As soon as she got home, she washed up, changed into her pajamas, and got a bowl of rice and vienna sausages to sit with on the couch. Mochi started barking out of nowhere and Christina couldn't understand. It was just them two.

"Baby! Why are you barking like that!" Christina looked at Mochi confused as Mochi ran to the door and started pawing it. Then came a knock. "Hm?"

Christina slowly walked over to the door and looked through the peephole.

"Carlos?" She was confused, but she slowly let him in.

"Hey, Stina. I hope I'm not bugging you."

"No, you're good." She shook her head and chuckled a bit at her confusion. "I was just confused."

"Oh that's not good." They laughed. "I just came by to surprise you and see how you were doing. Figured you would be situated by this time." She smiled as they both sat on the couch. "How are you keeping up?"

"I don't know. Okay."

"Alright, I didn't come here to stress you out." He chuckled and rose his arm to drape it around her shoulder. Christina felt comfortable, so she laid her head on his shoulder and cuddled up against him.

Time continued to pass as they talked, and talked, and.. talked.

About everything. Her feelings. His feelings. Where everything was at.

He loved being her comfort. She loved him being her comfort. They were happy that way. They were happy together.

They both knew the damage being done though.

And Christina knew it will _**always be Logan.**_

So was she using Carlos? Not exactly. He was _saving _her. While Logan couldn't.

They fell asleep together on the couch. And everything felt at peace.

_I'm givin up baby  
>I'm givin up baby<br>(feels like I've been driven for miles)  
>I'm givin up baby<br>(and I can't seem to silence these voices in my head)  
>This time won't you save me<br>(please save me)  
>This time won't you save me<br>(please save me)_

_This time won't you save me_  
><em>This time won't you save me<em>  
><em>Baby I can feel myself givin up<em>  
><em>Givin up<em>  
><em>This time won't you save me<em>  
><em>This time won't you save me<em>  
><em>Baby I can feel myself givin up<em>

_Givin up_

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><p><em><em>**Reviews are much appreciated!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey Hey! I have another chapter for you lovely readers! Once again, thank you so much for all the reviews and alerts! It definitely keeps me motivated to write this.**

**& Who doesn't love Logan & Christina? Haha.**

**Anyways, the song featured on this is: Love Lost - Trey Songz. Definitely a good song to listen to – it puts the mood together. And it inspired a lot of ideas in this chapter and the upcoming chapter.**

**Happy Reading!**

**Disclaimer: I dont own BTR or any songs.**

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><p>A week has gone by and absolutely nothing has changed. Amanda was still refusing to bring Cameron to court, even though she thought about it. She didn't wanna risk it. Her safety, her family's safety, etc., She knew he'd do some damage, just to get himself out of trouble. Christina was bouncing everywhere. She hung out with Carlos a lot and started talking to Shad more. Shad was now caught up with everything that was happening and just like Carlos, he was trying to be there for her. Maybe a bit too much.<p>

But this made her miss Logan at times too. Since the day he talked to her and begged for her forgiveness, they haven't really talked. This didn't surprise her though, she knew it was all too good to be true.

_Reminising I remember me and you we used to play with the dogs  
>While you were sleep id stare, stare while you lay in my arms<br>And now im stuck on stupid rain forest couldnt get wetter than you get  
>I used to beat it up you gave me your love I abused it now im facing the music<em>

She just wished he fought for her more. Like he used to. She's not saying he changed. But it just wasnt the same. And it kills her. Because they both know what they want.

But.. what the fuck? It was just too complicated for words. Everytime she thought about the bad he's done, it pushes her away. And then it brings her back.

She knows that obviously, this isnt healthy. But she can't stand the fact that he just left again. Was he even trying anymore? It didnt seem like it.

Logan was, though. It was that kind of situation where he was too lost to function. He wanted her. She was the goal. But how to get there after everything? He didnt know. He didnt wanna do the cliche chocolate and flowers, or the "I'm Sorry" dinner dates and then go back to the house to make love. He didnt want any of that. Honestly, he didnt wanna invest in any effort.

He just wanted her.

But since he was so lost, he was giving up. Every little thing was getting to him. He was on his last thread.

_Oh__,__ how I yearn for your touch im so lonely now that you left me  
>If I could run away you know I would<br>And im hurtin cause girl I never loved you like I should  
>When your love is lost<br>Your whole worlds thrown off  
>When the one you need dont need you<br>What do you do when love is lost _

"So, you're just gonna give up?" Will asked Christina as she was walking to Amber's room.

"It makes no sense for me to put in effort when he's not. Plus, i know it sounds selfish. But was I the one who messed up? If i fucked up, I'd fight for him. I did my part." Will just shrugged and they entered Amber's room. She was the same joyous little 7 year old. Christina was happy because she was doing so well that the hospital was releasing her to her parents. She was glad Amber could finally live her life again.

That was one thing that gave her hope.

"Chwistina! SillyWilly!" They both chuckled at her enthusiasm.

"Hey sweetie, how are you?" Christina brushed the growing hair out of her face. She always enjoyed the small talk she had with Amber before/during running tests on her.

"Good. Im so happy I get to finally go home!" She clapped her hands and giggled.

"Im happy for you too, babygirl! But who am I gonna talk to and visit everyday?" Christina playfully pouted. Will chuckled and continued to run tests on Amber before she was released.

"You have SillyWilly!"

"But I wanna talk to you! Not him!" Amber giggled, which eventually turned Christina's pout into a smile. "It's okay, I'll deal."

"Chwistina, whatever happened to LogieBear?" Her heart sinks. She always tried to avoid this conversation with Amber. Christina sighed and looked down for a minute. Looking for a logical explanation that a 7 year old could understand.

"You know, hun. We both got busy."

"Aw man, is he still busy now? He should be here."

"I know. I know. But Big Time Rush has a lot of things to do, you know that." Christina's heart sank deeper and deeper into a hole during this conversation. _He should be here. _He really should.

"Oh I know.. Okay. I guess it's okay." She replied with a blank expression. Christina couldnt help but look down and force herself to stop the tears from coming. She looked up at Will, who gave her the thumbs up. Amber was free to go home and her parents were excited to take her back. Will spoke to her parents outside while Christina shared a few more words with Amber before watching her parents take Amber back into their arms.

She wishes she could take a picture of this moment. It made her happy. And it's been so long since she's seen the light from all this darkness.

After work, all Christina wanted to do was eat. Cuddle with Mochi. Watch movies. Sleep. That's all she ever wanted to do nowadays. She didnt wanna sound like a low-life, but it was reality. Logan was everything to her. And she was everything to him. She enjoyed visiting her family. She enjoyed doing little things like grocery shopping, or taking Mochi out on a walk. But it just never satisfied her to the fullest.

So when she got home, that's what she did. She ate her food, while cuddling with Mochi and watching whatever what was on TV.

"Mochi stop making that noise." She looked down at Mochi, who was looking at her as well. Mochi wasn't making that vibrating noise. Her phone was. "Ooops. Sorry baby." She grabbed her phone and rose an eyebrow at the caller.

_**Shad.**_

"He-Hello?"

"Whatttup Christina?"

"Hey Shad. I'm just eating and watching with Mochi. Whatsup with you?"

"Nothing. Just chillin'. Finally on relaxation mode after practice."

"Ou, practice. Sounds brutal."

"You know it." They chuckled. "Nah but really though. I called to check up on you. How you been?"

"Uhm I dont know. Just taking it day by day. The usual."

"You alright?"

"I'm okay. I'm doing fine."

"That's good to hear. You know, we should really hang out again like last time. Even if it's just to eat out somewhere. It was fun."

"Yeah, it was." She smiled. She never really understood why guys always found it necessary to hover over a female once they were single. Well, she wasnt saying that Carlos and Shad were doing that. It was just weird. She enjoyed the company & of course, they couldn't do this before because of Logan.

She knew her business was already spreading throughout the media. But what can she do? They always had the juiciest stories and they were never close to the truth. It was so ridiculous that it entertained her as well.

Like, ET came up with some bullshit that Christina was seeing Carlos all along. Or that because her and Shad ate out once, they thought they were going out again. Maybe even engaged, too.

It's funny how one thing leads to so many paths.

"Just let me know when you wanna go out again. Take your mind off of everything, you know? That's the least I could do for you."

"Thanks Shad. I'll definitely let you know."

"Alright cool. Well, I'ma let you rest and everything. Knowin' you always workin' hard and everything." She silently chuckled to herself.

"Not even, Mr. NBA. But thanks. A lot. Just text me if anything."

"Cooo. Goodnight, Stina."

"Goodnight, Shad."

She will never understand. She's a mess. But she likes the fact that Carlos and Shad could be there for her.

Where was Logan?

_He should be here._

_I was trippin wouldnt listen now im sitting sipping shots at the bar  
>Now im riding to the 90's hits listening to aerosmith<br>I dont wanna close my eyes dont wanna fall asleep  
>Tell me how I can I be fly without the wind beneath my wings<em>

Logan wanted to be there. He did. But he couldnt stand the fact that Christina wasnt letting him in. The guys were working late night in their home studio, finishing things they didnt finish in Gustavo's studio during the day. But Logan needed some space. He loves his boys, but during times like this, it was the little things that bugged him. Especially Carlos. Carlos was like a bug that didn't leave Logan alone. Even if he wasnt talking to Logan or interacting with him, Logan boiled with anger. He avoided any contact with Carlos as much as possible, because he honestly didn't want to hurt the guy. Not his bestfriend.

But shit.

No one understood him. He looked at the lyric sheet in front of him and started singing it in his head. But he would pause once in awhile. He couldn't get the tune right. And he couldn't focus. This irritated him. He sighed and laid back on the couch, flipping through channels.

_**Christina Vega: Doing it Big in the Single Life? Lately, Christina Vega, ex-fiancee of BTR's Logan Mitchell, was spotted hanging out and grabbing bites to eat with ex-boyfriend, Shad Johnson of the LA Lakers, and close "friend" Carlos Garcia. Christina's doing it pretty big being single, am I right? *reporter laughs* You can rarely have your cake and eat it too, so I don't blame her for taking the chance. But hey, we all love our Vega sisters!**_

Click.

_Fuck, _Logan thought. How annoying. Besides irritated, he was beyond pissed. Now Shad was in the picture? Logan couldn't understand _why in heaven's name _she would let Shad back in and not him. Shad nearly killed the girl and the most Logan did was fuck around with different girls.

Makes no type of sense.

_Oh__,__ how I yearn for your touch im so lonely now that you left me  
>If I could run away you know I would<br>And im hurtin cause girl I never loved you like I should  
>When your love is lost<br>Your whole worlds thrown off  
>When the one you need dont need you<br>What do you do when love is lost _

"Ayoo, Logan. We need you back in the studio." Carlos said coming towards him. _Great, _he thought. Just who he wanted to see.

"Can you give me more time?" Logan said without taking his eyes off of the sheet.

"But we're trying to finish this now so we can all just chill."

"Look, I'm not ready yet." Logan's voice became stern. Carlos rose his eyebrow.

"Alright, chill out—"

"Don't tell me to chill out, Carlos. I'm fine."

"Obviously, you aren't. What's up with you, bro. You haven't been doing shit lately." Logan could tell Carlos was getting irritated too, but hey. That's what he wanted to happen.

"Don't call me bro. I thought we agreed we weren't bros. And yes, I have been doing shit lately. Don't get on my ass for working harder than you."

"ALRIGHT, my bad. Working harder than me? Logan, we work together, don't get ahead of yourself."

"At least I do what I can for the band instead of sleeping around with a friend's ex-girlfriend."

"Back the fuck up, Logan. No one said we were _sleeping around. _I was just being there for her while YOU were having trouble keeping your shit in your pants." Logan stood up with adrenaline and pushed Carlos. Carlos pushed him back as James and Kendall were coming out after hearing the chaos.

_And now I see  
>The man you need<br>When I look into the mirror I see change  
>And I close my eyes and wish you could see the same<br>But its too late _

"Not again, you guys." Kendall mumbled under his breath.

"Mind your fucking business, Carlos."

"GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, LOGAN!" Carlos yelled in reply. "AT LEAST GET IT TOGETHER FOR THE BAND. STOP GIVING EVERYONE ELSE UNNECESSARY BULLSHIT JUST BECAUSE YOU CANT GET HER BACK."

Kendall and James looked at each other. They both thought the same thing. Maybe that was a little too far.

"FUCK YOU, CARLOS. FUCK YOU. IF YOU GUYS REALLY FELT THAT WAY ABOUT ME, THEN FUCK IT. SO BE IT. I'M DONE WITH THIS SHIT. YOU GUYS HAVE EACH OTHER, YOU DON'T NEED ME." Logan yelled back.

"Logan, no! That's not the case—" Kendall tried jumping in.

"Then what is it? Because I've been so down and out of it, you guys cant at least understand what I'm going through? You all know damn well how much that girl means to me! I would do anything for her, and if there's no other way to get her back, then I don't know what to do with myself! You guys are my bestfriends, I expected you guys to know that!" Logan was on the verge of tears. He let them fall. He needed to let them fall. "I miss her so much. I fucked up. I need her back. You guys just don't know how it feels to be in this situation. To be the one person that everyone looks at as a dumbass. To be the one person that someone you love wants nothing to do with. You don't know the feeling. I'm sorry if everything's gotten to me, but damn. It's serious. And if you guys cant understand that, then I don't know. You guys have each other. Count me out of this thing, this isn't my place to be right now. I'm done."

_When your love is lost  
>Your whole worlds thrown off<br>When the one you need dont need you  
>What do you do <em>

"Logan, yo-you cant just quit the band. We need you."

"No, it's really not where I'm supposed to be. You guys got it. I'm sure you do. Obviously there's differences between me and the band. And you guys just cant get through it."'

"It's not even like that, this is a misunderstanding." James added. But Logan said nothing and walked up to his room. The three looked at each other, distraught. Carlos punched a wall in frustration, because one, he lost his bestfriend. And two, he was losing him for good. Kendall and James sighed and ran their hands through their hair to figure out ways to lure Logan back into the band.

_When your love is lost  
>Your whole worlds thrown off<br>When the one you need dont need you  
>What do you do when love is lost<em>

It was all a misunderstanding. It was all a misunderstanding that lead to Logan packing his bags.

"Hello?"

"Hey Ma, I'm coming home."

"What? Why? Logan, what's going on?"

"I'll explain later.. I'll see you in a bit."

_Lost gone out the window  
>When love is lost<br>Lost cant see your love no more  
>When the one you need dont need you<br>What do you do when love is lost_

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><p><strong>Reviews are much appreciated!<strong>


	17. Chapter 17

**Hello everyone! I hope you guys liked the last chapter. I have another chapter for you wonderful readers. Honestly was one of the hardest chapters I had to write. Almost had me tearing up myself! :( But, Thank you so much for you reviews/alerts!**

**Song featured: Far Away - Tyga ft. Chris Richardson**

**Happy Reading.**

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><p>She didnt know how respond to the news she got. It was literally, almost 4 in the morning. She had received calls and calls. Texts and texts. Lots of them. But not one woke her up until now - the very moment before dawn.<p>

_**"Hello?" Christina groggily picked up her phone.**_

_**"Christina! Christina! You need to stop him!"**_

_**"What are you talking about, Carlos?"**_

_**"Look, let me explain. I'm sorry for everything that happened, okay? I'm sorry for making everything escalate like this. You know I care about you, and you know I care about Logan too. So you need to stop him from going back to Minnesota right now. He needs you. He needs you Chris-"**_

_**"Minnesota?" Christina shot up in her bed. "Carlos, what's going on?"**_

_**"I got into an argument with him over this whole situation. Fuck. Im sorry. Im really sorry, It's my fault-" Carlos kept going on and on, making him stumble over his words.**_

_**"No, no. It's not your fault, Carlos. Stop."**_

_**"We got into an argument and he told the guys he was done. He thought we didnt need him. He thought everyone was done with him. It's not even like that! He's going back to Minnesota right now, you need to stop him Christina."**_

_**"Uhhh, okay." Christina ran her hands through her hair. She was so confused and lost, she didnt know where to start. "Where is he right now?"**_

_**"We tried stopping him from leaving, but he already left. He's on his way. Or he might even be at the airport right now."**_

_**"Fuck, okay. I'll call you later, alright."**_

_**"Okay, okay."**_

Christina was at a loss for words, as she replayed the whole conversation in her head as she drove as fast as she could to LAX in her pajamas. She didnt care what she looked like. She needed to stop Logan from going home. Her bestfriend. Her other half. Her fiancee. He was still everything to her no matter what happened. No matter what anyone has said, or done, it was still him.

And he was on his way to Minnesota. Where he could forget everything. The boys. His friends. Christina. He would forget every single thing that has happened to him and start all over again.

Christina didnt think that was the right choice. So she sped. And sped. And sped. Until she finally came across the big, silver LAX letters with blue lights shining upon it. She sped over to the parking garage and quickly got out of the car once she found a spot. She didnt know where she was going. What flight he was. Nothing. So she'd have to take a good guess and find him herself.

Hopefully he'd still be here.

She went straight to the flight informations, so she could see which flights were boarding and what not. The first thing she saw was the Delta Airline, which did have a "Now Boarding" Minnesota flight. She was gonna take her guess and go for Delta Airlines. Maybe he would be there.

She didnt have time to think.

She sped through the airport. Thought fast, too. She just needed to get to the gates. Well, probably not through security, but she had to get a hold of him. At least a glimpse. She called and called. Texted. Everything. She told him to not continue on with his plans and to come back home, so they could all talk about this.

No answer.

Christina was tearing up as he wouldn't answer. She just needed to make sure he was still here.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you have to get through security to get to the gates."

"Sir, I just need to talk to someone before they leave. Please."

"I cant allow you to do that." He stood in front of her and she quietly nodded. She looked behind the security guard to see something she didnt expect to see.

The back of Logan's head. Her eyes widened.

"LOGAN!" She called out for him.

He never turned around, but kept going into the gate.

"LOGAN!" She tried once more. "Sir, please, Can I just talk to him?" He quietly shook his head. She broke down in tears. She knew he saw her calls and texts, he just didnt want to answer them.

It was all over for her.

But for him it was like a new beginning.

_Walk a thousand miles_

_Just to see her (see her)_

_But she's far far away_

_And I'd do anything just to see her face_

_But she's far far away_

_Walk a thousand miles just to see her smile again_

Logan took a deep breath as a boarded the plane. He honestly hasnt checked his phone since he left the house. He didnt wanna deal with any of that, so he just ignored it.

As he took his seat in the plane, he looked out the window and the first thing that came into his mind was the "what could have been" wedding. The colors. The dress Christina picked out. Christina in the dress. Christina.

_Sittin' on a plane_

_Reminiscing back when I made that mistake_

_I wish it never ended with a heartbreak_

_Now your heart broken, tears in ya face_

_Ask myself why, looking at the sky_

_If I could turn back I'd make it all right_

_Praying that you better but its still stormy weather_

_Don't wanna let go but the rain wont let up_

_Now you gone, still thinking bout you everyday_

_And I know feelings was hurt and you can blame me but_

_I'm sorry for the games that I played_

_But now it's too late_

_And now she's…_

He wanted to tear up thinking about her. He didnt say goodbye to her. She probably tried reaching out to him. But he couldnt do it. He couldnt just tell her bye like this. He just had to go; he thought it would be better that way. He couldnt stand the way things were, he just needed to be home.

This wasnt his place right now. Or.. anymore.

He felt a tear drop down his face. If only she knew how much he missed her. It was unbearable. He really loved that girl to death, and he decided that she would be the only one he'll love like that. It wasnt over for him, it will never be. But because the situation was such a mess, he was gonna let things flow on their own.

The seatbelt signal above him lit up, signaling that it was almost time to go. He snuggly fastened his seatbelt and allowed the plane to take him back home. Once the plane hit the air, it was almost surreal.

He was really going back home.

He needed to get himself back together. He needed to get his mind back in place. Start over. And if that meant completely starting from scratch, he'd do it.

He didnt see any reason to be in Los Angeles anymore.

He might have overreacted but he felt as if his boys weren't there for him anymore. And besides that, he has completely lost the girl he fell head over heels in love with.

_Cause she's far far away_

_And I'd do anything just to see her face_

_But she's far far away_

_Walk a thousand miles just to see her smile again_

He closed his eyes in thought of all this. It gave him a headache.

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><p>Once he woke up, he recognized the airport in sight. He was back home in Minnesota. He slightly smiled as they stopped at the gate for the passengers to get off. He was somewhat excited to get home to Mom and Pops, but he wasnt so sure if he was ready to explain everything going on. His parents knew him and Christina were having problems. They were good about keeping up with that because they bugged Logan everyday to get her back. They loved Christina just as much as they loved their own son. Heck, she was practically their daughter. And they knew how much of a special connection the two had.<p>

But with everything else? He wasnt so sure how to explain. His stupid ways of coping with Christina. Late nights with random girls and having one night stands. Carlos. Shad. Him and Carlos getting into fights over Christina. Leaving the band.

Yeah, maybe he'd leave that for later. He caught a cab to head back home. During the car ride home, he finally checked his phone. A bunch of texts and calls from the guys. Christina, too.

Once he saw her name, his heart stopped. He hated feeling this way whenever he thought about her. Even just seeing her name made him feel this way. He hated it. But at the same time he loved the feeling she gave him. It was real. Out of all of them, he wanted to answer Christina's, but it was too late. They were already miles away.

_It's cold putting up a fight_

_Arguing back and forth through the night_

_Regardless what I said and I don't mean most of it_

_You know I really love you, this the realest goin' get_

_It take time to realise what you really wanna know_

_You was ready for it all but your feelings I ignored_

_I know my fault, I should've gave more_

_Now you're miles away and I'm miles on tour_

_Now it's drums playing, crowd singing_

_Light changing, wish you was here to witness all that_

_It starts fading_

_They say two wrongs don't make it right_

_And I was wrong and now it ain't right_

_**"Logan, please pick up. Logan. I know you hear this. Pick up."**_

_**"Logan, you cant do this. You cant just leave everything behind and go back to Minnesota. Please dont do this."**_

_**"You cant just forget about everything. You cant just forget about me... Or what we had. This isnt fair.."**_

He teared up once again in the cab. It was too late. If only he looked at his phone earlier, maybe he would have stopped. But he didnt. So was it not meant to be?

_Cause she's far far away_

_And I'd do anything just to see her face_

_But she's far far away_

_Walk a thousand miles just to see her smile again_

He sighed as he finally got to the front steps of his house. He took a deep breath and unlocked the door slowly, making sure he wouldnt startle his parents.

"Mom? Dad? I'm home." He called out as he stepped in and closed the door.

"Logan sweetheart, is that you?" He heard his mom call in from the living room. It was still a pretty early morning, but since his parents knew he was stepping in, they probably got up early to wait for his arrival. Logan stepped into the living room and set his bags down. He smiled at the sight of his mom as she stood up, smiled and opened her arms for a hug.

"Hey Mom."

"Hey honey, how was your flight?"

"It was good, actually. I fell asleep for the most part." His mom chuckled as they both sat down on the couches.

"Do you want anything to eat or snack on?"

"No I'm okay mom, I actually might get some more sleep. I've been up all night."

"Alright, well just let me know if you need anything. Is everything okay, Loges?" She could tell something was wrong. Or that he'd been stress. He looked worn out. Not as bright as he used to look.

"Uhm.. Yeah mom. I'll just explain everything later.. I kind of dont wanna deal with it right now." His mom simply nodded as he gave her a small, toothless smile and headed off to his room.

_Na na na nah_

_If I could turn back_

_If I could make it right_

_I'd do just that_

_If I could make it right_

_I'd do it all tonight_

_Hold you in my arms, with you I'd spend my life_

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><p>"Mom, I dont know what to do. It's all done with. He's gone. He's back in Minnesota." Christina cried in her mom's arms. Felicia rubbed her sister's shoulder and looked down with sympathy.<p>

No one understood exactly why Logan upped and left.

"Its not over, baby. Shh. He'll be back. I promise. Give him his time."

"He's trying to forget everything, ma. He is. He wants to."

_Na na na nah_

_If I could turn back_

_If I could make it right_

_I'd do just that_

_I'd do just that_

_If I could turn back_

_(Come back here again)_

"No he doesnt, dont say that Christina. Just give the boy some time to get himself together. There has been too much going on. Too much for the both of you to handle." Christina continued to cry onto Mama.

"I watched him leave. Do you know how painful that is?" Her mother nodded.

"I cant exactly understand how painful it is, but it hurts me to see you this way. I can only imagine."

"Mom, I still love him so much. I didnt mean for any of this to happen." Mama and Felicia looked at each other, both with sympathy and a loss for words. They have never seen her this way.

Ever.

_Cause she's far far away_

_And I'd do anything just to see her face_

_But she's far far away_

_Walk a thousand miles just to see her smile again_

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><p><strong><em><em>Reviews are much appreciated. (:**


	18. Chapter 18

**Youuu guys, I am sooo sorry for this delay! I got out of school pretty early but I've been busy at home. But here I am, with another chapter for you lovely readers! Im sorry if it's kind of short, but I wanted this chapter to be separate from the next. Thank you so much for your reviews/alerts, it means so much to me. **

**Happy Reading!**

**Disclaimer: I dont own BTR or any songs.**

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><p>Days have been passing by like a breeze. Weeks may have been passing as well; Christina couldn't even remember what day it was or what time of the month it was. Her head was in a jumble. Every thought, every picture, every word, was mixed up in her head. She couldnt get her mind off of him.<p>

Him. Fiancee. Boyfriend. Ex. Logan.

She wanted to know how he was doing. What he was doing back home. If he'd ever come back. Or if he'd already forgotten all about her starting his new life.

"Fuck." Christina sucked on her thumb. Paper cut.

"Honestly, you worry me Christina." Will shook his head as he looked down at her cut.

"Why?"

"I should be asking you why." Christina rose her eyebrow at him.

"Why are you acting like this? WHY didnt you go after him?"

"Will. You know I would've gone after him. But I felt like I should've just let him be right now. Who knows. Maybe it was right for him to go back home and leave all of this behind."

"That's not right Stina. You know what the feelings are between you and him. And if they were really true.. for you at least, this wouldn't matter." Christina shook her head and quickly wiped her tear before he could see it.

"Will, not right now please."

"I'm sorry. I just dont like you being this way. or Logan being that way. It's unnecessary." She sighed and made her way out of the break room. There was no Joshua or Amber to brighten up her mood, not saying that the rest of the children in the hospital didnt make her happy. Those were just her regular go-to's. She made her rounds and checked on the patients she needed to check on.

Hiding behind all these feelings was unbearable. She was mad, esp. since Will came at her like that. But she was mad at herself.

Because everything he said was true. She knew the feelings between her and Logan would never diminish. They just had that type of relationship. Distance or not, she loved him and she felt like he loved her just as he did before. Why did it matter so much? But she was only thinking about him and how he was feeling. He probably felt suffocated. He needed to breathe.

As much as she wanted to let him breathe, she couldnt. She had to get him back somehow. Even if that meant going down to Minnesota herself.

Minnesota? She doesnt even know if she has the balls to do it.

But its been too long..

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><p>For Logan, there was no stress being in the business, none of the boys to fight with and there was no drama. As much as he tried not to, Christina would pop up in his mind once in awhile.<p>

It felt great to have a break from everything. He wasn't gonna lie. He liked the alone time. But he still longed for Christina.

So, what happened to them again? The question never fails to run through his mind everyday.

She became a part of him. He really couldn't see himself without her.

But here they were, living without each other.

Which makes him mad. Really mad. It wasnt supposed to escalate like this. Second, he gets really upset because he loves the girl to death, not cause he wants to hurt her.

And so he takes the bottle of Henessy from its place in the alcohol storage in the kitchen and takes a shot. And then another, and another, and another. The buzz was numbing to him.

You would've thought he wouldnt turn to alcohol after the time he got in a car crash and put himself in the hospital during their first breakup. But he is. He doesnt wanna call himself an alcoholic, but since he's been home, that's all he's been doing every time he finds himself getting upset and worked up over thoughts.

Not what he expected to be doing either. With his parents gone all the time for work and there's just no one around to distract him. Maybe he was better off staying in LA. Making amends with everyone he has hurt.

But, no. He's stubborn and he just cant deal with what happened between his most trusted boys and ex girlfriend.

He's a mess. A legit mess.

After taking those shots, he immediately took himself to bed. He was living a bum ass life and he didnt know how to feel about it. He didnt know how to feel, period.

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><p>"Logan, honey! I'm home!" His mom called out. His mom was the first one to come home before his dad would. She shut the door and put the grocery bags on the kitchen counter. "Logan?" She was confused. But she already knew where he was: in bed. She went up to his what used to be room and slowly opened the door seeing Logan all over his bed, knocked out. She shook her head and retreated back to the kitchen.<p>

It was getting out of hand in her eyes. She expected Logan to come home and make a recovery. Rebirth, almost. Clear his mind and start over. Go back to LA when he was ready to.

But no. He did the total opposite here. She sometimes wondered why he came home. Being the loving parents they were, she knew him and her husband could only do so much to keep Logan grounded. But if he stayed in LA, he wouldnt have to deal with this alcohol nonsense. He would have more than enough love and compassion from the people that he surrounded himself with.

She had to do something. His behavior was just, unacceptable. She was glad he was home, but she kind of wished he came home for the reasons he said he would.

To clear his mind. Think. Make everything better for himself.

Not worse..

She figured she had to do something. She has never seen her son turn into an alcoholic like this. He never really liked drinking in the first place. She doesnt wanna blame the guys and Christina for it. After all, it was his choice to turn to alcohol or not.

She cant let her son do this to himself.

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><p>After dinner, Logan groggily brought himself back up to his room, but had some trouble sleeping. His mom washed the dishes and cleaned up the dining area while his dad was sitting at the table looking over some papers. She wanted to bring the issue up to her husband. She was sure he noticed his behavior too. But she didnt know how without making Logan sound like an alcoholic with a problem.<p>

Nope.

"Honey."

"Yes sweetheart." Her husband said, not taking his eyes off of the papers in front of him.

"Have you noticed Logan's behavior since he came back home?" She watched him slowly look away from the papers and sigh. He put them down and shrugged.

"He's having a hard time, sweetheart, you can't blame the boy."

"So you're totally fine with Logan drinking his problems away?"

"No, I didnt say that. But you have to understand where he's coming from. He's not doing it for no reason."

"I do understand, I just didn't think he'd turn to alcohol. Why couldn't he just talk to us about it?"

"Well, he lost his fiancee and has been on a rough road with his brothers. Do you really think that's easy for him to talk about? I sure as hell would probably react the same way he's reacting right now." His mother shook her head. Logan totally got that trait from his father.

"I just dont want Logan abusing himself like this."

"Well, what do you wanna do. We tried hiding the bottles. He still found them."

"And if we try anything else, he'll snap like last time."

"He just needs to ground himself again." His father looked disappointed but he didnt know what else to say.

"There are other ways to approaching this. And I'm not gonna let Logan sit there and drink it all away. He is not an alcoholic."

"I totally agree sweetie. But what else can we do? Have you thought of anything?"

"Maybe we could-"

"Is that what you really think Mom?" Logan slowly came down the stairs and into their view.

"No honey. I'm just worried about you."

"So you think I'm an alcoholic."

"Son, we just want you to know that you have us to talk to. We dont want you turning to-"

"You know, that's some bullshit knowing your parents think about you this way."

"Logan." His mom said with a shocked look on her face. "We do not think of you in any way!"

"You have no idea mom. You have NO idea what it's like to lose the love of your life and to stand there while your bestfriends betray you."

"They didnt betray you, Logan. They still care about you." His father chimed in.

"IF THEY STILL CARED, TELL ME WHY CARLOS KISSED CHRISTINA DAD. PLEASE. EXPLAIN TO ME BECAUSE I DONT GET IT." Logan was on the verge of tears once again. He broke down, making his mother cry as well. "You just dont understand how it feels. Everything was perfectly fine. Now all of this over one, small misunderstanding." He mumbled. His mother pulled him into a hug while his father caressed his shoulder.

"It's gonna be okay, honey. It's gonna be okay."

"I just want everything to be okay again. With them. With her. I want her, mom. I need her. I love that girl more than anything."

"We know, son. We're gonna help you get back on track." His father said. As his mom was hugging him, she looked at her husband with sympathy. He gave her that look.

That.. _you know what you have to do _look.

And she nodded.

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><p>Christina came home to Mochi after a long day of work. She washed up and put on her pajamas and laid in bed with her puppy. She had no appetite and all she wanted to do was lay there. Even if she couldnt sleep. Just lay there and process her thoughts.<p>

She hadn't heard from the boys in awhile. But just like her, they were contemplating on how they would get Logan back to LA with no harm. They knew if they came down there themselves, there would be more drama and Logan wouldn't come back.

Christina knew she was the key to getting him back. She just didnt know why she was afraid of heading down there and facing him herself.

Maybe cos they havent talked for so long. And it'd just be awkward.

But they had a love so strong. Why would that even matter?

_**Ring Ring.**_

An unknown number flashes on her screen, but she picks up anyway. She felt like she had to.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Christina? This is Mrs. Mitchell. I know I'm calling from a number different from my cell. I'm calling from the house phone."

"Oh, hey mom. What's up?" Logan's mom loved hearing Christina call her mom. She loved that girl like her own. And she was right for Logan. That's why she was doing all of this for him.

"Hey honey, how are you?"

"I'm good. How about you?"

"Great, great." She said. Then she sighed. "Uhm, sweetheart. I called because of Logan." Christina's heart dropped.

"O-oh. That's unexpected. Uhm, what's wrong? Is everything okay?"

"I would like to hope so. But, I need to talk to you about something."

"Sure, what is it?"

"Well.."

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><p><strong>Reviews are much appreciated. :)<strong>


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey guys! Sorry for the wait again. I have another chapter for you, hopefully you like it. I actually teared up writing this. So relevant to life, lol. Thank you SOO MUCH for all the alerts and reviews. You all are amazing and beautiful! OH, and I LOOOVE this Window's Down song. Our babies are growing up. :')**

**Happy Reading!**

**Song: Never Gonna Leave This Bed – Maroon 5. (I personally love the acoustic version. My life, seriously.)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own BTR or any songs!**

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><p><em>You push me<br>I don't have the strength to  
>Resist or control you<br>Take me down, take me down_

The plan literally scared Christina out of her mind. But she had to do it. Not only for his parents, but for her love. She knew everyone was counting on her. To get him to come home. Calm down. Be the same Logan she fell in love with while she was with Shad. True story.

It was an early morning at her apartment. 3AM. She cleans her face and looks in the mirror. Her heart was pounding and the plan hasnt even come into play yet. She wiped her face, threw on some victoria secret PINK yoga pants, a sweater and uggs. She made sure she had everything she needed. Once she was certain it was time to go, she nodded to herself and took off.

She was off to meet the boys at the Airport.

Minnesota was waiting for them.

_You hurt me  
>But do I deserve this?<br>You make me so nervous  
>Calm me down, calm me down<em>

The guys werent so sure how they felt about it either. But if one Mama Rusher comes crying for help, they'll be down to do whatever. The last time they saw Logan was when him and Carlos had a fight over the whole Christina situation. Kendall and James tried all they could to settle it down, but they felt as if they didnt do enough. Logan still went home. They felt bad. It was almost like they were all out to get him for his wrong-doings, but they would never do such a thing to their brother.

So it was time to get Logan back in his right mind. Let him know they were there for him. And that they loved him more than anything.

Esp. Christina.

Maybe it was time for them to reunite. Rekindle their flame.

Or maybe she would get him home but that would be it.

She'll have to see what the books have in store for them.

_Wake you up  
>In the middle of the night to say<br>I will never walk away again  
>I'm never gonna leave this bed, oh<em>_.._

"Hey." Carlos whispered to her as they waited to board. He was kneeling in front of her, putting his hands on her knees. She slightly smiled, her eyes fighting to stay open. "You tired?"

"Mhm... I feel like I was asleep for 5 minutes. Work has been draining everything out of me."

"Well, why dont you sleep. I'll wake you up when we board."

"Eh. I dont know. As tired as I am, I doubt I'll be able to sleep."

"Everything will be okay, alright?" He smiled and kissed the top of her head as he went to the cafe to get some food to snack on.

"You think he'll be okay with this?" James looked at Kendall and Christina. Christina shrugged and looked out the window.

"I dont know. I feel like when he sees us, he'll flip out. It'll be this one huge misunderstood argument." Kendall added. He sighed and shook his head. "We should've been there for him."

"Dont be so negative. We tried. It was just a lot to handle. Logan's gonna be okay." James nodded but had the look of sympathy in his eyes when he flashed a look at Christina.

Exhausted. Over-worked. Worried. Melancholy ol' Christina.

_So come here  
>And never leave this place<br>Perfection of your face  
>Slows me down, slows me down<em>

It amazes him out she puts on a smile as if nothing ever phased her. If he was in her shoes, he'd be freaking out. And all over the place.

As for Carlos, he's not so sure how everything will play out either. Of course he feels beyond guilty and horrible for doing what he did and for treating Logan that way. The anger got to the best of them. But he wants everything to be okay again. He's down to make a clean slate. He's just not sure about Logan's feelings.

He probably hates him. Carlos wouldn't blame him though, he'd hate himself for being such a terrible friend.

Welp. Everyone has unsettled feelings.

"Flight 904 to Minnesota, now boarding." The voice through the speaker called out. Christina sighed and slowly got up to grab her blanket and bag. She tucked her bag underneath and plugged in her headphones as she snuggled into her seat by the window. In a quickness, she dosed off. James chuckled and covered her completely in her blanket.

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><p><em>So fall down<br>I need you to trust me  
>Go easy, don't rush me<br>__Help__me out, why don't you help me out?_

The butterflies were swarming in Christina's stomach. She paced around the living room area of their hotel suite. They were washing themselves up and prepping to leave for Logan's. It was like intervention. She didn't like it. She saw those shows and they were scary.

All she wanted was her Logan back.

Why was he abusing himself like this? Like, not even the whole alcohol thing. He was doing things he would have never done. And they've made headlines. Did he care? No.

He was always so careful. He was the one who was more afraid of letting himself go and taking risks out of all the guys.

She wanted to go now. She didn't want anything but to talk to him. Badly. No matter how scary this seems, she's been waiting for that moment to finally talk to Logan face to face. About everything.

_Wake you up  
>In the middle of the night to say<br>I will never walk away again  
>I'm never gonna leave this bed, oh<em>_…_

"Hey, you'll be alright." Kendall gave her a reassuring smile and had his hand on her shoulder blade. "You ready to go?" The rest of the guys looked at her with reassuring, soft smiles. She took a deep breath and nodded.

And so they were off. It would only be a matter of time before Logan would be back from his morning workout. She felt nauseous. And It was rising.

_It'll be okay, Christina. You want to do this. You want to talk to him. You love him, that's why you came all the way here for him. He needs you._

_So you say "Go, it isn't working"  
>And I say "No, it isn't perfect"<br>So I stay instead  
>I'm never gonna leave this bed<em>

She told herself over and over again until they got to the house. It was a cute looking family house. They all got out, feeling the tension between each other.

It shouldn't be this bad. It's Logan. But he put up this wall between himself and the people that cared and loved him dearly.

They were greeted by his mom and dad. His father took the boys into the living room while his mother took Christina upstairs. They sat in the Master bedroom, both looking overwhelmed and tired.

"Thank you so much for coming down Christina. I knew that the only way Logan would feel better about everything is if he had you guys here with him."

"Its no problem at all. " Christina smiled.

"I just.. cant read him anymore. I don't know what he's thinking. I don't know how he feels. I don't know much because he doesn't want to open up to anyone. And I know he's beating himself up about everything." Christina nodded as she listened to Logan's mom. She knew she was worried. And it kind of hurt her to see his mom be so clueless and worried like this.

_Take it, take it all  
>Take all that I have<br>I'd give it all away just to get you back_

"I wish I could tell you how he felt but I havent talked to him since we argued about the whole Carlos situation." His mom nodded.

"I hope you guys know this isnt your fault. Neither is it Logan's. But he could have thought before he acted. And of course Carlos was only trying to be there for you."

"I just didn't think it would blow out of proportion like this. But there were a lot of things happening besides that. That kind of left a tear in our relationship."

"I understand." Logan's mom shook her head. "Oh god, forgive me Christina. I didn't even ask if you would be comfortable talking to him in this kind of setting. I know you probably didn't picture it this way."

"Oh no, its fine. Please. Don't worry. I do want to talk to him."

"Okay. I really hope—"

_And fake it, fake it all  
>Take what I can get<em>

Knockin' so loud  
>Can you hear me yet<br>Try to stay awake but you can't forget

Slamming of doors. Yelling. All guys yelling.

"_**What the fuck are they doing here? DAD, what the hell is going on? I didn't need ANY OF THEM TO COME BACK DOWN FOR ME. I THOUGHT I MADE SHIT CLEAR."**_

"_**LOGAN, you watch that language. These are your bestfriends! You don't treat them this way, especially if they came for you—"**_

"_**Bestfriends? No, cause they wouldn't have acted like they didn't care—"**_

"_**WAIT, don't even act like we 'didn't' care after one situation blew up Logan. WE'VE ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR YOU!" **_

"_**WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU GUYS ARE COMING INTO MY HOUSE LIKE THIS?"**_

"_**LOGAN CALM DOWN, CAN YOU PLEASE LET US TALK?"**_

Christina heard the guys pleading for him to calm down, but Logan's voice kept rising.

"Oh dear God." Logan's mom ran out the door and down the steps. Christina followed, only to see Logan pushing James' hands in front of him. He didn't want to be touched.

'LOGAN." Logan's mom said clearly. "Stop that, right now." The yelling stopped. And everyone's eyes automatically fell on Christina. The guys looked at Logan, then back at her.

His expression started to calm down a bit.

_Wake you up  
>In the middle of the night to say<br>I will never walk away again  
>I'm never gonna leave this bed, oh<em>_…_

"Mom… What is she doing here?" He asked calmly.

"I came to talk to you." Christina answered for herself. He turned to her and gave off one of those pathetic chuckles.

"Uhm, okay. Let's just go to my room then." He started to make his way to his room as everyone awkwardly watched. She followed behind him.

And then they were awkwardly sitting across from each other in his room.

"So, now you wanna talk to me?"

"Don't even start Logan, please." He shook his head and looked out the window.

"What about?"

"Logan. Why are you doing this to yourself."

"I really don't need you to lecture me too—"

"STOP. LOGAN, PLEASE JUST STOP. YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHY IM ASKING YOU. I CARE ABOUT YOU AND I JUST NEED TO KNOW WHY YOU'RE DOING THIS TO YOURSELF." She started to tear up. "To me…"

He looked out the window and started to cry. "I lost you.. I lost you and I felt like I lost everything. So I started to go out and do things to get my mind off of you, but I JUST COULDN'T. And then Carlos kissing you and all this drama and tension started to build up. I could never get through all this on my own. Esp. when I was so used to everything being good and having you here. I never meant to hurt you, I promise I never did. I just want everything to be okay again. Im so-I'm sorry…" His voice started to fade out. Christina ran to him and grabbed his face. She pulled him into a hug and they hugged each other tightly.

The sparks were there. Everything they've ever felt as a couple was still there.

Even the butterflies.

_You say "Go, it isn't working"  
>And I say "No, it isn't perfect"<br>So I stay instead  
>I'm never gonna leave this bed, ooh<em>

"Baby, its okay.." She whispered into his ear.

"I'm sorry babe. You know I never meant to hurt you."

"I know my love, I know. I never did either."

"Can we just go back to being happy?" He pulled away and placed his forehead against hers as he rubbed her cheek. She nodded and he pulled her into a kiss.

It's been forever since she's had his kisses.

And she loved it.

"I love you, Christina." Logan whispered.

"I love you too." She whispered back. "Please talk to the guys. They really wanna talk to you." He nodded and went downstairs. She followed behind and watched Logan talk everything out with the guys. She was happy. She was damn happy everything was finally okay again.

And she finally got her baby back.

It was only from here where they would continue their journey and make things better than the last.

_Take it, take it all  
>Take all that I have<br>Take it, take it all  
>Take all that I have<br>Take it, take it all  
>Take all that I have<br>Take it, take it all  
>Take all that I have<em>

_Take it, take it all_  
><em>Take all that I have<em>  
><em>Take it, take it all<em>  
><em>Take all that I have<em>  
><em>Take it, take it all<em>  
><em>Take all that I have<em>

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><p><strong>Reviews much appreciated. (:<strong>


	20. Chapter 20

**So, this chapter is a bit of a filler chapter. A fun one though. **DO NOTE: there is mature content at the end of this chapter!**

**Can you guys do me a favor though? Check out my new fanfic - Complicated. It's a CarlosxOC fanfic. And im not too sure if I should continue with it or not. You guys be the judge!**

**Anyways, you guys are all beautiful. Happy Reading.**

**Disclaimer: I dont own BTR.**

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><p>They arrived back at LAX in the late afternoon with FreighTrain ready to pick them up and drive them to the Malibu house. Mama and Papa decided that everyone should just take a breather and party tonight. Esp. celebrating the fact that Logan was back. Logan and the boys were together. Logan and Christina were together.<p>

Engaged though? They weren't too sure if they wanted to get right into that again or wait. They're both scared. Due to the outcome last time.

But it was a night to let loose. Of all drama and problems. Leave everything in the past and move on.

"Ayeee, thats my brother right there." Rodney came to greet and hug Logan. "Whatsup man, you alright?"

"Yeah man, I'm good. Just glad to have everything back on track."

"We all are." Rodney smiled. Following him, Felicia, Amanda, Mama and Papa. Christina stood back. admiring the fact that everything was back in place.

For now at least. You just never knew with their group.

Christina shook the thought out of her head. And went upstairs to put her and Logan's stuff in her old room. She heard everyone scrambling up the stairs and going to their rooms to set their stuff down. Then she felt arms wrap around her waist. She knew those arms. She smiled to herself as she felt Logan's lips press against her temple.

"Baby." He whispered. "I'm so happy I could do this again."

Christina chuckled. "Me too, my love. Me too." She turned around to face him. "Are you tired?"

"No. Im perfectly fine. Are you? I'd be willing to take a nap if that was an invitation." His eyes got bigger. Christina couldnt help but chuckle at him and shake her head.

"Noooo. I'm gonna wash up and get ready for this party we have tonight, silly."

"Okay then, I will too." He smiled and reached over for his suitcase to pull out some clothes. Christina immediately put her stuff away, and headed to the shower, leaving Logan in the room. He heard her turn on the water and the glass doors slide close. _She's in the shower already? _He thought. He stood there for a good second until he smiled, and walked into the bathroom.

"Hey babe?"

"Yes?" She answered through the loud shower.

"Can I hop in with you?" He smiled to himself, hopeful she would say yes. She giggled as she closed a bottle in the shower.

"Nooooo." His smile quickly turned into a frown. He put his hands on his hips and was ready to protest.

"WHAT. Why not?"

"I'm almost done."

"So? Plus, we'd be saving water. Dont you care about the earth? Do you want to live until-"

"Babe, shutup." She laughed. "Of course I do." She turned off the shower and peeked her head out." Thats why I take short showers." She smiled at him as he continued to frown. "Can you pass me my towel, please?" He continued to stare at her with a disappointed look until he began to smile again.

"Oh, you want this?" He pointed to the towel and picked it up. Her smile faded; she knew Logan was up to something.

"Can I please just have it?"

"Hm, I think you're gonna have to get it." He smiled as he unwrapped the towel and held it in front of him.

"Logan Mitchell. You better hand me that towel."

"Baby come on, all you have to do is get it."

"It's cold! And I'm wet!" He wiggled his eyebrows and looked at the towel, then back at her. "I'm gonna kill you." She said coming out of the shower, naked. At that moment, she glowed. In Logan's eyes at least. How could he forget that body? He looked at her up and down and bit on his bottom lip to prevent himself from smiling too big. Or.. from saying something that would get him in trouble.

"Jeeeesus CHRIST. What. Is. Life." Logan said examining his girlfriend.

"Shutup. Give me that towel." She tried snatching it until he rose it in the air. "Babe what the hell, give me the towel!"

"Say please! Lord have Mercy, where are your manners young lady?" He shrieked, looking down at her. She pouted and stopped jumping for her towel. Now she could careless because she was almost dry. "Aw, I'm sorry." His back was now against the sink counter with Christina pressed against him. He wrapped the towel around her back, but she didnt move away from him in order for him to wrap it around her whole body. "Babe, here. I'm giving you the towel."

"Now, you owe me a kiss. For being a meany pants."

"I can deal." He looked down at her as she tippytoed to give him a peck on the lips. She tried to pull away but Logan gently pushed her head towards his to keep their lips locked together. He slowly began to slip his tongue into her mouth to keep the kiss going for awhile. He kept his hands at the arch of her back to keep most of the towel covering her back and started to plant kisses down her jawbone to her spot on the neck. It still gave Christina the chills down her spine everytime he did that.

"HEY, ARE YOU TWO LIKE, DRESSED YET?" Kendall yelled into the room, interrupting their time. Logan sighed and looked down at Christina. She pouted at him, making him kiss her forehead before greeting Kendall outside.

"Uh, almost." Kendall looked at him confused.

"Almost? You're still in those clothes."

"What if I didnt want to change? Or couldnt, hm? You dont know my life."

"Logan..." Kendall paused for a minute. "WHAT are you even saying? Get dressed. I bet Christina's dressed already." Sure enough, she was. Kendall laughed as soon as she walked out of the bathroom in a peach colored pleated high-low skirt and a collared, button up tanktop tucked into her skirt. She was tying the belt around her waist before she looked up at Kendall and Logan. "Told you so."

"WELL IM GOING! Jeez, the impatience in the world today!" He shrieked before walking into the bathroom.

"What was that about?" Christina asked, looking at the mirror now.

"He's just a girl." Kendall said shaking his head and walking away. Christina tied her hair up in a top knot bun as Logan came out in khakis, a light grey vneck and a denim flannel. She turned to him and smiled.

"Yay, you're cute."

"Well, you know, I try." He giggled and shrugged. Christina rolled her eyes and took one last look in the mirror.

"Mkay, are you ready to head down now?"

"After you, my lady."

Outside by the pool area was were the party was going on. Her DJ of a uncle was playing **Turn Up The Music by Chris Brown **as soon as the couple grabbed their drinks and joined their crew to have a good time. Logan and Christina started to dance alongside their group, singing along, drinking and letting loose. Amanda would guide her uncle every once in awhile and help him choose the records that were party material and appealing to the crowd.

After awhile, the crew was pretty drunk. Of course, Carlos being the most intoxicated. But he always knew what he was doing. As Christina was treating herself to some snacks, Carlos came over as well.

"Duuuude."

"Yes Carlos?" She looked at him and laughed.

"I'm so drunk."

"I am aware."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"

"You're drunk."

"I am?" Christina shook her head and continued to laugh. "Oh jeez. I am. But hey, I just wanted to tell you that you're beautiful Christina. You are damn gorgeous."

"Why, thank you Carlitos. You're a sweetheart."

"And if you ever need me, I will always be by your side." At this point Logan slowly made his way next to Christina.

Not gonna lie, Logan was still iffy about the relationship Christina and Carlos had, especially after their little fling. He stood there, blankly, listening to Carlos shower his girlfriend with compliments. He knew he was drunk though. But still. He was iffy. He was back to being on good terms with him, but sometimes he wished Carlos had a girlfriend himself... just so he wouldnt be paying attention to Christina all the time. Even if he was just looking out for her as a bro would. He wouldnt have to worry so much if Carlos only knew his limits being a "bro" though. But whatever, Logan was done pointing fingers.

"Oh, hey Logie. You're beautiful too. I love you man. I love you."

"I love you too, Carlos." He had a small smile plastered on his face as he replied to Carlos.

"Yeah. Uhm, the world is spinning. I need to calm down." Carlos said slowly making his way to an area where he could sit. Christina turned back to her boyfriend, seeing him blankly stare at her.

"What babe?"

"Oh.. nothing." He shrugged and continued to drink his beer.

"Its about Carlos huh? Babe he's drunk."

"IIIIII know that. Annnd he was drunk when he kissed you."

"Babe. Let that go, please. We're supposed to be on a clean slate right now."

"Right, right. You're right. I'm sorry." He kissed his girlfriend before they returned to the party.

They partied until they couldnt no more. Kendall, James, Carlos, Logan and Rodney were all pretty drunk. Felicia didnt drink because of Nico, and Christina was tipsy. The guys were on the couch as Christina made her way upstairs to change out of her clothes. She closed the door behind her and slipped out of her clothes, only being in her undergarments. She heard Logan's voice outside the door, so she knew he was coming in.

As soon as he came in and closed the door, he noticed her in her bra and undies. He bit down on his lip. Yeah he was drunk. But he knew what he was doing.

And he wanted his girlfriend. He wanted to have that makeup sex. That good love making. It's been awhile.

He put his hands on her waist, letting one hand slowly slip down to play with her undies. She giggled and bit her lip.

"Babe, what are you doing? Stop that."

"Cooome on..." He whispered into her ear.

Him whispering was already a turn-on. So she let him. His hand slipped inside her undies and started to rub in a steady circular pace. She let out a soft moan before she pulled herself away from him and turned to kiss him. As they passionately kissed, she helped him take off his flannel and shirt. He gently laid her on the bed as she tugged on his belt. He helped her un-do his belt in order to get his pants off faster. His erection was teasing her. And he knew it. He slid down her undies and threw them to the floor and the next to go was her bra. He cupped a breast in her hand and she moaned as she felt his tongue go in circles and suck on her nipples.

He planted kisses down to her area and his tongue started to do work. She ran her hands through his hair as he continued to lick in, out and around her clit. She grabbed his hair and arched his back every time it felt too damn good.

"Logaaaaan.." She managed to moan followed by another. She tried not to be so loud, but it was difficult. He slipped in two fingers and immediately began to finger her at a steady pace, all while continuing to please her with his tongue.

After awhile, he made his way back up and started to kiss her. They kissed for awhile until Logan wrapped his arms around her and looked at her. Her eyes burned with lust, so he took it as leverage to continue. She could careless about a condom or any safety hazards right now, she wanted it just as bad as he did. He slowly put it in, making Christina arch her back a bit and let out a soft moan. He kept it slow for a bit, then started to fasten his pace. A bit rough too. But she didnt mind. It was that good love making.

As he kept a steady pace, he started going a bit faster making her moan continuously. He dug his head by her neck as he gave off some moans. She had a strong grip on his hair as they both realized they were both about to reach their climax.

A few more thrusts and they reached it. Before pulling out, he laid on her for a bit as they both caught their breath. He laid next to her as they both stared at the ceiling. He turned to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"I love you. So much." He whispered.

"I love you too." He kissed her forehead and allowed her to cuddle up against him before they both fell into a deep sleep.

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><p><strong>Reviews are much appreciated!<strong>


	21. Chapter 21

**Hi everyone! I'm sorry for the delay. This is a somewhat shorter chapter (seems like it) and it's a filler chapter. Thank you for being so great and keeping up with this story though. (: You guys are amazing.**

**Check out my newest fanfic: Complicated ft. CarlosxOC**

**Happy Reading!**

**Disclaimer: I dont own BTR.**

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><p>She felt terrible.<p>

The whole morning. Wake up, get up, throw up, repeat. She layed in bed and gripped her stomach. She winced in pain and wondered why she was throwing up so much. Well, no. Two times. But why was this even happening in the first place? She doesnt remember eating anything bad. It ached her muscles. No. Her body. She cuddled in bed and focused on the TV until her phone rang.

Logan.

She grabbed her phone, put it on speaker and dug her head into her pillow.

"Babe?" He asked after he didn't hear Christina's voice on the other line.

"Mmmmmm." She growled. Loudly enough for him to hear.

"What's wrong?"

"I dont feel good." She said softly as she fixed her position and laid on her side.

"What? What's going on? Are you okay?"

"I guess. I threw up twice since I woke up."

"Aw jesus. Baby. Get some rest okay? If I could, I'd leave the studio to cater to you." She smiled at her thoughtful boyfriend. Always thinking about her, that's what she loved about him.

"It's okay. I'll be fine."

"I'll get to your house as soon as I can, okay?"

"Okay."

"Alright. Get better, SweetBottom." Christina rolled her eyes and sighed, making Logan chuckle. "God, get used to it already! I love you babe."

"I love you too." She smiled as she ended the call.

She sighed and sat up from bed. What to do? She wasn't hungry. Or.. at least she was telling herself she wasn't. She was afraid she wouldn't be able to keep it down because of whatever this bug was. She didn't have the energy to go through what she did earlier. It was gross. She wanted company. Logan's. But he was busy at the studio with the boys and she knows he won't be coming over until late afternoon.

So Christina calls Felicia.

"Hello?"

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"Uh, just being a mother at home?" She laughed. "What's up?"

"Can you come over with Nico? Please."

"Suure. What's wrong though?"

"I just dont feel good. And I'm bored."

"Do you need anything while I'm out?"

"Gatorade and Crackers?"

"Do you have the stomach flu?"

"Can you just get here?"

"Okay, okay. We're talking when I get there, Stina."

"Oh, okay MOM." Christina rolled her eyes as Felicia laughed.

"Bye." With that, the call ended. She knew she wasnt as tired, but she'll nap until her sister gets there anyways. She hated being sick. And since she's feeling really low, she'll just cuddle in bed with Mochi and bum it out all day. But before that, she decides to call Dr. Davis.

It rings about 4 times until he finally answers.

"Uh, hello?"

"Dr. Davis. Hi. It's Christina."

"Oh hey Christina, isn't your shift starting soon?"

"Yeah, well. About that. I'm feeling really sick today. I must've caught the stomach flu bug."

"That's fine. You stay home and rest now, alright. Come in when you feel like new." Christina smiled.

"Alright. Thank you." _**Click. **_She honestly felt.. okay. But it was bugging her. What made her so sick? She tried recalling everything she ate yesterday. Maybe she just had a bad mix of something?

No. Everything was perfectly fine. She would've known if something was bad on the spot. So why did she puke her brains out twice this morning?

And then it hit her...

_The party at the Malibu house._

That night that her and Logan had sex. They didn't use protection. They were so caught up in the mood and making love to each other after so long. Chrsitina vaguely remembers telling herself that she could careless about protection at the moment. She just wanted this with her boyfriend.

What if she was...

"Okay, I'm here. Why are you sick?"

"What do you mean, why Felicia? Are you crazy?" Christina sat up on her bed. Felicia sat Nico on the floor to let him play with his toys and then sat on the edge of Christina's bed.

"Did you eat anything bad?"

"Not that I remember..." Felicia rose her eyebrow and looked at her confused sister before replying.

"Well, I got you some Gatorade, crackers and chicken noodle soup."

"Thanks."

"Annnnnnd, I got you this too." Christina was confused. Felicia dug into her bag and her eyes widened at what her sister pulled out.

A pregnancy test.

How was Felicia so quick to judge that maybe she was pregnant? Just the look of the thing.. the box, scared Christina. She wasn't sure if she was ready for that. Or.. if she was ready at all.

"Felicia...I-"

"Christina. Take it."

"Why are you so quick to think I'm pregnant?"

"Hey. You didn't get sick off of your food. When's the last time you and Logan did the nasty?" Felicia gave her that look.

"Uh.. couple days ago at the house?"

"Protection?"

"NO. Felicia. Can you please not."

"OKAY WELL, you're gonna have to face it. Whether you're ready or not. At least, if you're not. You can get that thought out of your mind and just worry about whatever bug is causing your tummy trouble."

"And if I am...?"

"Well.. Dont worry. I'll help you out. Plus. Mama and Papa would be overjoyed." Felicia started laughing. "After Nico popped out, they were hoping you'd have one."

"NOT SO SOON."

"Christina. You're bound to be 22."

"AND JUST STARTING IN THE REAL WORLD. Felicia. Logan's busy being a popstar and I'm just getting into my job. I'm not ready to have a kid. At all. And I doubt Logan would be too. We haven't even pulled through with the wedding, what makes you think I'll be ready for a kid? There's just a lot going on.."

"You should've thought of that before you let him stick his weewee raw!"

"SHUTUP." Christina said to her sister as Felicia let out a little giggle.

"What're you going to do if you are?"

"I dont know, okay? Abortion is just not my thing. I'll have to go through with it."

"There's only one way to find out.." Felicia said holding up the box.

"Felicia..."

"What? Do you wanna do this now with me? Or with Logan?" Felicia rose her eyebrow. Christina sat in bed for awhile, pondering her thoughts.

"Okay, okay. Fine." She said sternly and took the box as she made her way to the bathroom.

Christina opened the box, and threw it on the counter. She looked at the little device in her hand and then back at the instructions in her hand.

_How the fuck do you work this thing? _

If she couldn't understand the slightest idea of peeing on a stick, how would she be ready for a child? She shook her thoughts and sat on the toilet to pee on this hideous little stick. She couldn't believe she was doing this right now. And she couldn't believe she would be waiting a whole 3 minutes just for this thing to tell her if it was positive or negative. 3. long. minutes. Spent shaken up, too.

Cold world.

After she finishes peeing on that damn thing, she sat back in bed with Felicia staring at her.

"What."

"Did you do it?"

"Well of course I did, what else would I have done in the bathroom with it?"

"Okaaaaay, smart-"

"BABE?" The two heard Logan's voice as he closed the door. Christina shot her sister a look about the test in the bathroom.

"Felicia!" Christina whispered.

"Chill out. Once he gets situated I'll leave you two alone. I thought you said he wasnt coming until later?" She began to whisper as Logan stepped into the room confused.

"Oh, uh, hey Licia."

"Hey Loges. How was the studio?"

"Good. Luckily Gustavo let us out real early."

"Oh. That means Rodney should be on his way home." Felicia scooped up Nico from the floor. Logan was feeling an awkward tension in the room, as he watched Felicia and Christina share awkward glare battles.

"Yeeeeeah.. Is everything okay here?"

"Fine, Totally." They both chimed in. Felicia looked at Christina one more time.

"Call me, okay." Then she looked at Logan as she left the room. "Bye Logie. See you guys later." With that, she left. She couldn't believe her sister was out the apartment with a quickness when she needed her. Now it was just awkward. She was kind of scared to tell Logan any more details about this. She was shaken.

3 minutes sure had passed already.

"Hey baby, are you sure everything's okay?" Christina put on a small smile as Logan came closer.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"You feeling better?"

"Yeah, I am."

"I'm sorry I couldn't get you anything. I see Felicia already did though. I wanted to get here as soon as I can."

"It's fine babe. Thank you." She smiled softly at him as he kissed her forehead.

"God, I really need to pee though." He said rushing to the bathroom.

"BABE WAIT NO. DONT GO IN THERE." But it was too late. He was already in there. She saw him stand there for a minute and slowly come back out with that damn stick. She despised that thing. 3 minutes was up, though. So she had to look at it.

"Uh.. is this what you were trying to hide?" She nodded, with a worried look on her face. "Babe. Dont hide this from me. I'd like to know too, whether its the answer we want or not. " He sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I know.. I know.."

"Well, has time passed already?"

"Yup." She said taking it from him.

"Wait. Baby, you know. I'll be with you every step of the way. Regardless, okay? I love you. And I will never leave you." She smiled.

"I love you too." She looked at him and leaned in to kiss him. After, she sighed, holding the stick in her hands. Then, she looked down. Her stomach was hurting again. And all of a sudden the room was hot.

One line.

She smiled in relief.

"Thank God.." She whispered.

"Wha-what?"

"I'm not pregnant." He smiled softly and kissed her again. "Thank goodness.."

"What? You arent trying to have my babies." He pouted, making her laugh.

"No silly. Of course I want to have your babies. Just in due time. We have to admit, we arent in the right minds to have children yet." She giggled.

"Hey. I'd be a good dad." His facial expression had a hurt expression.

"I never said you wouldn't be. I just think it isnt the right time. We still have so much ahead of us." She smiled at him.

"You're right babe." She held his hand from where he sat.

"Glad that's over with."

"Can we take a nap?" He asked in his squeaky voice.

"Yeah, I'd be down for that." She scooted further down into her covers as Logan changed into comfier clothes in her closet. He climbed in and wrapped his arms around his girlfriend tightly.

"I love you so much." He whispered into her ear and planted a soft kiss below it.

"I love you too."

As they both were quickly drifting into sleep, her phone rang.

_**Amanda.**_

"H-hellooo?" Logan looked confused, as his girlfriend sat up a bit.

"Stinaa. Can you come pick me up later? I wanna sleepover."

"Okay su-" She was cutoff by yelling and slamming doors in the background. Sounded like Mama and Papa. "Is that mom and dad?"

"Ye-yeah.."

"Arent you supposed to be at school."

"I stayed home. I barely got any sleep."

"Why? What's going on?"

"Stina. I'll explain later. Just come, okay? Please."

"Alright. Alright." _**Click. **_She put her phone down and layed there, confused.

"Who was that?"

"Amanda. She wants me to pick her up later so she can sleep over."

"Oh. What a baby." Christina rolled her eyes.

"No. Something's wrong, babe."

"Like?"

"My parents were arguing in the background. They rarely argue. Now she wants to sleepover cause she said she barely got sleep over there. She stayed home from school."

"Baaabe. Stop overthinking things. Might've been a misunderstanding. No biggie."

"But-"

"But nothing. It's gonna be okay. Now, nap with me before we pick her up." She turned to fit in position with Logan and layed there, confused. Still. He fell asleep quickly. But she couldn't.

Something felt terribly wrong.

Her parents rarely argued, so maybe she WAS overthinking.

But, it sounded bad. Real bad.

And she was worried. For them. For her sisters.

She wished she knew what was going on. She's afraid to even find out now. She loved her family to death, and they have been nothing short of perfect.

She can't have them go wrong now. Esp. not after the whole thing with Amanda and Cameron.

_Fuck dude. _She thought. Never-ending stress. She wished it could be over. But something new literally creeps up everytime something gets better.

**Cold. World.**

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><p><strong>Reviews are much appreciated. (:<strong>


	22. Chapter 22

**Hello everyone! I KNOW ITS BEEN TOO LONG SINCE I UPDATED. I feel horrible. But school has been so hectic. I can't believe it's been a year almost, since I started this story. SO.. I decided. Maybe I should continue this with a trilogy. Lol, there was enough drama in this story. **

**Let's start another journey with Logan and Christina soon! :)**

**I just need to figure out how where I want this to go.**

**Once again, I am sooo sorry for the long ass delay. I will be updating "Complicated" soon too. I've started writing the new chapter, but havent finished it. I told you, I would never just leave you guys hanging. You guys are amazing for keeping up with this story, so you deserve so much more from me! **

**Btw, I'm sorry if this chapter is a bit short! A little bit of a filler.**

**Disclaimer: I dont own BTR or any songs.**

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><p>She just couldn't understand why. Why were her parents arguing? Of course, Amanda could only understand so much between her parents and she tried telling Christina every detail she could remember.<p>

All Amanda could say to describe it was: _they seemed like they were getting on each other's last nerve every single time they argued. _

So it's been more than once. The party wasn't that long ago. What could have gone wrong within that short period of time?

"Hey, what time do you start school tomorrow?" Christina kept her eyes on the TV as Amanda was getting settled next to her in bed. Logan had gone home after he dropped the two off at the apartment. As soon as Kendall told him they copped Call of Duty Black Ops II, he was gone in a jiffy. Silly little boyfriend of hers.

"9:25."

"Ouuuh, perfect. I can drop you off before I start my shift."

"Uhm, good. Cause how else would I get there?"

"Uh, the attitude is strong right now." Christina rose her hand up to Amanda. "I should get an award for being the better big sister."

"Whatever."Amanda chuckled a bit. They were silent for a bit, until Amanda broke the silence. "Stina.."

"Mhm?"

"Do you think everything's gonna be okay? You know.. between Mama and Papa."

"Of course, hun. It's probably just a rough patch. A huge misunderstanding."

"But... every little thing. They get into an argument over every. little. thing."

"Stop thinking about it. I promise you everything's gonna be okay."

"I know. But, it's just making me nervous. To the point where every time I think about it, my hands get all clammy. And my tummy feels weird. Mom and Dad were never like this.. and it scares me."

_It scares Christina too. _Really bad. She knows exactly how her sister feels. Arguments were never a thing in the Vega family. It was always positive thoughts. Her parents always taught them to keep the negativity out. Out of the family. Out of the house. Out of their minds. It was always about positivity. And now the two most important people to her and her sisters were arguing? Over what? She didn't understand how in a couple of days, it seemed like her parents were hating each other.

The shit that Christina goes through. Ridiculous. After getting over a huge obstacle, here comes another one.

_The timing is ALWAYS so perfect.. _if you catch the sarcasm.

"It scares me too. But we're gonna stay positive about this stuff, okay?"

"Yeahhhhh.." Amanda laid down and wrapped herself in some blankets. "I just wanna sleep peacefully."

"Well. We can do that. Get some sleep." No reply. Her sister always drifted into sleep so quickly.

The arguments must have been horrible if they actually kept her up. But then again, if Christina was in her position, she'd be up all night too. Wondering how things even got to this point.

She hates thinking.

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><p>Christina drops her sister off at school and she's off to the hospital for her shift. She doesn't feel like new, but she doesn't feel horrible either. She's just.. okay. She would stay home, especially since she has the chance to. But she doesn't want to. She doesn't wanna sit in the house. Next to Mochi. Analyzing everything she knows about her parents' behavior.<p>

And then she remembers the drama she's been through these past weeks. She chuckles and shakes her head.

_Shit._

She can't believe her and Logan go through these things. But then again, it's inevitable. Sometimes when you care and love too much, it goes overboard. There's honestly no doubt in her mind that things will come in the future.

_Ew._

Every scent seems to be strong to her lately. And she cant stand it. It makes her nauseous. She still has that queezy feeling. And she's not well enough where she could just chow down whatever she wants. Nope. She has to think about food. And make herself eat. But sometimes it just makes her wanna puke too.

The pregnancy test was negative though.

Why is she still thinking about the possibilities?

She currently wants to bang her head against the steering wheel while she's at the stop light. _I fucking hate thinking, _she says to herself.

Christina gets to work and she's still looking overwhelmed. Not herself. Tired.

"Back so soon?" Dr. Davis raises his eyebrow at her.

"I'm fine." She gives him a toothless smile.

"You always say that." He said with a smirk. "I dont want you to be pushing yourself to the limits. You havent even given yourself more time to rest."

"But, I swear I'm okay."

"Mmm. Well. Do a round and go home. You need to get better." She sighed. _He was right. _The smell in the hospital was starting to get to her too.

"I guess."

"I'm only doing so to keep you healthy and for your own good."

"Yessssss, I know Dr. Davis." Christina said as she turned around to start making her round.

As she was making her round, she noticed herself getting more and more fed up with the smell. She was sensitive to everything. Her body ached. She still felt nauseous. Smells were all of a sudden too strong and unbearable. Food was disgusting to her.

She decides she's gonna pay her doctor a visit. She needs to put her mind to rest for good.

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><p>The day felt like it was going by so slow for Logan. All he wanted to do was leave the studio and be with his girlfriend. It was such a drag in the studio nowadays because all it consisted of were finishing touches for the album. At least he wasn't busy anymore. He thought about proposing again.<p>

_Or maybe not. _His hopes slowly died inside of him. He doesn't wanna rush into it again. He wants to make sure their both on the same page and ready for it.

_Although he'd love to marry her in a jiffy. _After all the shit they've been through, it was still them. And he loved that.

Logan finally checks his phone as he's lounging on the couch in the studio. He smiles as he sees a text from his girl.

_**Hi babe, I miss you. Can't wait to see you later. **_

And then he sees a text from an unknown number. It's not saved to his phone. And he really has no idea where in the hell this number is even from. But he reads it anyways.

_**Hey Logan, give me a call when you can. It's important.**_

Too bad he has no idea who the hell this person is. He's curious though. So maybe he'll call after work. It better not be a scam or something. It's starting to get him worked up.

He wonders what it is. He thinks back to every possible moment, as far as he can go. He focuses on the days after he's been back with Christina.

He can't really think of anything he's done. He's blank.

"Goddamit." He said under his breath.

"You cool, bro?" Rodney came towards him. Logan has no idea how he heard that. He tried saying it as quietly as possible.

"Yeah. I guess. I got this text from an unknown number. They were like 'give me a call when you can, its important.'"

"Are you sure its not a wrong number kind of thing?"

"Nope. They mentioned my name. This is so random."

"Nahhhh. I'm sure you're okay. It's probably someone just trying to mess with you."

"Probably."

"Don't sweat it."

"Yeaaaah, yeah. You're right." Rodney pats him on the back and heads out of the room. Logan takes one more look at the text before he shakes his head and chuckles a bit. _Get me outta here. _

As for Christina, she's put to rest for good. She really isn't pregnant at all, and its a stupid little stomach bug that has her mind all worked up.

_Never again will she challenge her chances. _

But she's happy. Not saying she doesn't want to have a future with Logan. She really does.

Just not right now.

It's obvious they shouldn't be planning a family any time soon. They revolve around drama. It's a restless relationship sometimes. Their future kids dont need that. They need parents on solid ground. And her and Logan have yet to reach that stage.

Yay. She can focus on Logan at the moment. And hopefully get their wedding on the way with no problems.

She really hopes nothing comes in the way.. _Again._

Christina is about to pull up to her parents' house when she sees her dad hauling some boxes into her car and yelling as he stuffs it into his car.

"What the hell?" She notices her dad's car is almost full of boxes and luggages. She puts the car in park and quickly gets out.

"WELL, YEAH YEAH WHATEVER. THAT'S BULLSHIT. I CANT BELIEVE THIS RIGHT NOW." Papa yells back to Mama. She can hear Mama yelling from inside the house, but she can't really point out what she's saying.

"Papa, what are you doing?" She asks worriedly as her dad slams the car door shut and looks at her. Once he realizes its Christina he's looking at, his face softens.

"Baby. I'll explain later. I just can't be around your mother anymore. That's it. It's just becoming too much for the both of us." He starts walking towards the driver's seat and Christina follows behind.

"No, what?! DAD. You can't just tell me that. What's going on?!" Christina's on the verge of tears.

"Christina. I told you I will explain later. I'll call you later okay. Dont worry." He kisses her on the forehead and gets in his car.

She doesn't like this one bit. She cannot have her parents falling apart right in front of her eyes. Her tears are falling down her cheeks as she walks into the house. "Ma, please explain to me what's going on."

"Christina, now is not the time." Her tears are rushing down faster.

"Mom, please. What's going on.." Mama looks up, seeing Christina crying. She sympathetically looks at her and sighs.

"Honey. We're just not getting along right now. And we decided it's best if we separate ourselves from each other."

"Why.."

"When I'm ready. I'll tell you. Just not right now. Please understand for me sweetie." Christina shakes her head and walks out to her car.

_She wasnt ready to see this._

How did it go from annoying arguments to separation so quick? She really didnt want this for her parents. Her family. They were doing so well.

_The drama continues._

Christina gets home and quickly changes into her pjays. All she wants to do is nap. Her head hurts. Everything else for sure hasn't healed yet. Just.. Wow. How things change so quickly.

What does she need to do to get away from all this drama?

Her only solution right now: Nap.

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><p><em>What. the. fuck.<em>

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

Is the only thing Logan is saying to himself right now. There is no fucking way the shit he heard was true.

He knew he shouldn't have called. But then again, he'd rather be civil about it than let it get around and make things worse.

All he's thinking about is how he's gonna tell Christina. How she'll react.

_She's gonna fucking break up with me for good._

_FUCK._

There is no way in hell that shit is true. He'll prove it.

Logan gets to Christina's apartment and shakily unlocks her door. Its quiet. Except Mochi runs out from her room in order to get to him. He scoops Mochi into his arms and walks into Christina's room to find her sound asleep. He sits on the free space next to her and rubs his thumb on her cheek. She moves a bit and slowly opens her eyes.

"Heeey cutie, you feelin' better?" He smiles down at her. But the room feels hot as hell. He's probably sweating balls and he doesn't even realize. He's trying so hard to keep calm. He's only scared for how she'll take it. He really, really, really doesnt wanna go through what they JUST went through. Again.

"No.." She starts breaking down. _Oh fuck. _He brings her up a bit so she could rest her head under his chin as he sits back. He's holding her as tight as he can.

"Baby what's going on? Tell me." Logan whispers and kisses her on top of her head.

"My parents. They're separating." She cries harder. "My dad moved most of his stuff out today. They both didnt wanna talk about the situation. So I was left with no explanation at all. Except 'we just cant be around each other anymore.' Why is this happening to them.." She cries harder. He hugs her tightly and lets her cry on him.

"I'm so sorry. Everything will be okay. I promise." She shakes her head in his arms. "Believe me, okay? I'm here. It'll be okay." He hears her calming down a bit. "I love you." She takes a couple of breaths before she replies.

"I love you too." She almost said at a whisper.

_There's no way he'll tell her while she's in this state._

Eventually.

The time will come.

He just hopes no one beats him to it.

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><p><strong>Reviews are much appreciated. (:<strong>


	23. Chapter 23

**So, I have two weeks until my 6 week long Christmas Break. I'm so excited. I'll finally get to update this, Complicated and It Girl as much as I want :) ANND, possibly start the next part to Logan and Christina's journey. Thank you for being loyal readers - you continue to read, follow and review! Great motivation.**

**You reviewers are too smart, sometimes. Lol, in a good way. I try to keep things as a surprise but you guys always, somehow, figure out what's gonna happen next. LOVE!**

**Since you guys reviewed so quickly, I was satisfied. I'm gonna go ahead and put the next chapter up until my two weeks are over!**

**Happy Reading! *READ/REVIEW!**

**I'll definitely appreciate more reviews, I love hearing feedback about any of my stories.**

**Disclaimer: I dont own BTR.**

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><p>"There is no way in hell that girl is carrying MY baby. I CLEARLY remember using protection." Logan firmly stated in the lounge room of the studio.<p>

"Are you sure?" Kendall rose his eyebrow and turned sideways to look at Logan in the eye.

"YES! What do you mean 'are you sure?' Me and Christina were going through some rough shit, but I would never get another girl pregnant."

"Who is this girl?" Carlos asked.

"Samantha. Some girl from the club."

"Okay. So let's think about this. You ARE in a famous band. Doing it big and what not. You have the money and stability to pay FOR a child. She could be jocking you for your money." Carlos added. He nodded confidently as the guys shrugged in acceptance of his statement.

"I mean, I really don't see any other reason why she would be calling you the baby daddy if you used protection." James chimed in.

"True. I dont know. She wont leave me alone though. I did tell her I would take a paternity test and pay for it. I've been trying so hard to keep this on the low so it doesn't spread."

"I dont know how you're managing to do that so well. It's been days since you got the call. This would've been everywhere on the news by now." Rodney added.

"Please don't jinx it. But yeah. I kept telling her I'd talk it out and help her figure this out if she didn't spread the rumor. I mean, the only thing I could do right now is take that test and prove it to her."

"True. She really thinks you're the father?"

"YES! Which is dumb because its been awhile since we hooked up. And I'm suuure she's been around after that. Not tryna call her out or anything."

"I dont know. Just take the test as soon as you can dude. You can't depend on that rumor to lay low forever." Carlos slightly shrugged at Logan. He was right. He had to take that test. ASAP. He really couldn't risk having this unnecessary shit all over the news. It would definitely get to Christina. Eventually his parents.

He isn't a bad guy though. Logan's actually doing what he can to show Sam this baby isn't his. At least he isn't blowing her off. It wouldn't be smart to do that anyways. But he wants to keep his mind open. If he IS the father, he'd help take care of the child. He doesn't know how Christina would take that - cause if she had a baby with someone else, he'd flip the fuck out. Just thinking about it makes him want to flip the table in front of him over. If he WASNT the father, he'd still help her get help and find the baby's dad. Or at least help her get on her feet as a single mom. Still doesnt know how Christina would feel about that, but at least it wouldn't be his baby. He'd just be doing a good deed. "_Ugh, Logan. Whatever. Do what you want." _He hears her in his head already.

Damn, that woman.

"Yeah. I'll probably hit her up later."

"Well, that's settled for now." Kendall clapped his hands and rubbed them together. They all stood up and headed to Gustavo to see what else he wanted done in the studio today.

"For now.." Logan added.

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><p>Since they've gotten back together, Christina feels like they've improved so much as a couple. They've recovered from all that drama and have been good ever since. It feels amazing to her.<p>

But then on the other hand, she's still dealing with her parents' separation.

She will never understand how their family went from being solid to dysfunctional. She never thought this would happen to her family. Definitely not her parents. They loved each other for so long. They never stopped loving each other. Hell, they barely got into arguments. And so she doesn't understand how they couldn't get over this one obstacle together. Amanda is just as devastated as she is, being that she only sees her mom at home now. Her dad now has to pick her up and hang out with her because he doesn't live under the same roof as her and Mama. Felicia's being more of the grown up about it. She's sad to see this happen to her parents as well. But, she shrugs at the problem. _Shit happens, _is what she would say.

Christina knows Felicia knows so much more than her and Amanda do. So she's probably acting that way for a reason. Her dad never called to explain to her. Her mom never brings it up. Nobody wants to speak. But she'll hear sooner or later. She will. She can't just sit here and act like the separation happened for no reason.

She misses Logan. And she can't wait to sleep over tonight. Her shift tomorrow doesn't start till 12:30. Which she's kind of happy about since she gets to sleep in a bit and still have time to get ready.

Christina starts packing up her things as Mochi is standing on her bed. She's becoming such a big dog so quickly, it saddens Christina. Her baby grows up too quickly. She starts barking as Christina continues to put a few things into another bag.

"I'll be back tomorrow pumpkin!" She contiues to bark. Christina walks out to the living room and grabs her keys. She's about to walk out the door when she realizes Mochi is right behind her. "What are you doing Mochi? I said I'll be back!" But no, she continues to bark. "Mooochi. Do you wanna come to Daddy's house then?" At this point Mochi is jumping up on her leg.

Which means yes, she assumes.

She grabs Mochi's leash by the door and scoops her up after attaching her collar to the leash. In the car, Christina decides she's a bit hungry. She just got off of her shift and it was about to be 4pm. She's tired as hell too. She had to work from 7-3 today and a nap sounds too good to her. But she'll wait. Christina stops by Panda Express to grab a quick panda bowl that consisted of fried rice and honey walnut shrimp. It'll do until dinner. She knew the guys wouldn't be having dinner until late anyways.

Now she's off to Felicia's house to spend some time with Nico until the guys are out of the studio. He was growing quick too, which also saddens Christina.

"Hi sister." Felicia says as she hears Christina coming in from the front door. Christina makes her way deeper into the house, until she sees Felicia in the kitchen and Nico playing with his toys in his play pen in the living room area.

"Hey. What are you up to?"

"Just starting to brainstorm on dinner so I could get to cooking. Rodney said they'll be out by 5, no later than 5:30."

"Damn. Weren't they in the studio pretty early today?" Christina asked as she sat on a barstool and started eating her panda bowl.

"Yeah. I have no idea what Gustavo has them doing for that long, but you never know with that man." She chuckled. "Nice panda bowl. What should I cook for dinner?!"

"I dont know! Whatever your man likes, jesus."

"That's the problem. He'll eat anything."

"Cook beef and brocolli or something. Some of that teriyaki chicken. Anything."

"Ouu, teriyaki chicken sounds sooo good right now. With softened vegies. Got it."

"What would you do without me?"

"Shutup." Felicia started gathering her supplies.

"How's mom and dad?"

"Mom's okay. Dad's okay. They're coping. They seem better this way." Christina rolled her eyes.

"How?! They were perfect together."

"Yeah, well." Felicia shrugged. _'Yeah, well' is all she can say?!_

"How are you so nonchalant about this right now, Felicia?"

"Because."

"Because what! When will me and Amanda get to know so we can act that way too? I'm tired of freaking out over this thing."

"Then stop freaking out, Christina. Trust me, you'll know sooner or later. Not right now. Once you know, you'll understand why I'm the way I am about the issue."

'Ugh." Christina continued to finish up her bowl. She ate that pretty quick. There was somewhat of an awkward silence after discussing the issue, so Christina gets up to play with Nico. "Nico!" She runs over to the baby boy who is in his little jumper, bouncing around and having the time of his life.

Felicia did know about the whole BabyDaddy issue Logan was having. But Rodney did tell her Christina doesn't know. Logan said he'd tell her. Eventually. He just doesn't want anyone else butting into their business and telling her things he was supposed to explain. It would just make things worse. Shit. Rodney doesn't even think he'll tell her until he knows how the test will come out. And to Felicia, it doesn't seem like Christina knows anything about it. Or else she would've been storming into her house, ranting about the whole thing.

"How are you and Logan doing?"

"Great. Amazing. Everything above." Felicia smiled to herself as she took the chicken out to thaw. Kind of made her sad though, knowing her sister was enjoying every moment her and Logan have been having since they got back together and that she's been so happy ever since. But she has yet to find out about everything else Logan's dealing with. Welp. It's not her place to say anything. She loves her sister and all, but Logan needs to explain the issue himself.

"That's good. I'm glad you guys are happy and back together."

"I know. I'm so glad we don't have any drama to deal with anymore. Such a clean slate for the both of us." _Ohp, spoke too soon._

"Mhm, that's good. More room for improvement." _And babymama drama, _Felicia thought. She quietly chuckled to herself, and shook it off. It seems a bit mean that she's making fun of the topic, but hey. You have to admit. It was random as fuck and she doesn't even know where this whole thing is going. Half of her feels bad for them, cause they JUST got over some rough patches. But the other half is hysterically dying of laughter because one: this bitch is outta her mind calling Logan out like that. Two: the guys are a bit overreacting even though they know damn well he isn't the father. Rodney claims he isn't every single time they talk about it.

But whatever, she wants to see how they deal.

"Right?" At this point, Stina picked Nico up and is currently cradling her nephew.

"You think you'll finally marry him this time? Bullshit aside."

"Yeah.." Christina blushes a bit. "I really want to."

"Aww, that's so cute. I really think you guys could do it this time. I mean the album's pretty much done. You guys can plan everything together now."

"You're right."

"You should bring it up to him. It's not too late to continue planning. You guys had most of the necessities down. You have over a month or so left. I'm sure Janel still has your stuff or something."

"Yeah, she should. Ahh, I dont know. Maybe I should talk to him about it. I was ready to marry him before, I'm still ready to marry him now."

"Just as long as you guys dont feel rushed and end up arguing like last time. You guys are good."

Christina was excited. She was glad Felicia was giving her a bit of motivation. She really wanted to talk to Logan about the wedding. Maybe, actually going through with it this time. She really loves him. He really loves her. They have the time they've been wanting now. It seems like it's right. But, she'll bring it up. And see what he says.

She'll bring it up when they get situated at his house later. _Ouu, butterflies._

By the time Rodney gets home, Nico is put down for a nap. This is Christina's cue to leave and meet up with her man at the house. She says her goodbyes and is finally off to the house. She gets more and more excited to talk to Logan about the wedding plans. Well, just to be with him in general. As soon as she gets there, she grabs her stuff and walks into the house. She sees Carlos and Kendall already on the Black Ops II, but without taking their eyes off of the TV they greet her as she walks up the steps.

"Hey Stina!" They both yell out.

"Hi guys." She says back as she laughs, continuing up the stairs. James' door is closed, so he must be working out in his room or taking a nap. Logan's door is wide open and she peeks in, seeing her boyfriend cleaning up his closet a bit. "Hi baby." She softly says. She lets Mochi down to let her run up to Logan.

"Hey babe." He scoops Mochi up, kisses her then kisses Christina.

"Cleaning up your closet?" She says as she plops down on his bed.

"Yeah, it was a bit dirty." She shook her head as he sat down next to her, petting Mochi.

"How was the studio?"

"Alright. How was work?"

"Same old." Awkward silence. He was being a bit weird. She couldnt understand why. But it may just be her. "What do you wanna do tonight?"

"Mmm, it's up to you." She rose her eyebrow.

"Babe."

"What?"

"Why are you acting weird?"

"I'm not!" He slightly chuckles. "I'm just saying, I'd be down for whatever with you. Okay?" He smiles and leans over to kiss her. "I promise I'm not being weird." _There you go, much better_, she thought.

"Well, okay. I guess whatever happens, happens." He wiggled his eyebrows at her. She playfully hit him and chuckled. "No."

"AW, WHY NOT." He let Mochi down so he could protest.

"You are such a boy. Stop." She giggled and opened his MacBook that was sitting on the bed.

"Just a boy who is madly in love with his girlfriend." He said closer to her ear. She giggled as he planted a kiss on her jawline, giving her tingles down her spine.

"Logan."

"Christina." He mocked her. And continued to plant kisses on her. She bit her lip and smiled. And then she remembered what she wanted to talk to him about. _Wedding plans. _She flipped over a bit so she would lay on her back. "Oh, damn. That was quick."

"Shut up! I wanna talk to you about something." She smiled. Logan's heart started to beat faster. He didn't know what she could possibly want to talk to him about. But she was smiling. So he wasn't stressing as much.

"What?"

"Well. I was thinking-"

"LOOOOOGAN!" Carlos yelled from downstairs.

"Goddammit. Hold on okay? I'll be all ears when I come back." He kisses her on the forehead and goes downstairs. She sighs and lays back on her tummy to explore the internet on his Mac. She's scrolling down when she hears Logan's text tone go off. She looks next to her, realizing his phone is there.

So she can't help but look.

His message settings are set to when you can see what the text says on the lock screen.

It's an unknown number.

_**Hey, when did you wanna take that Paternity test?**_

Christina raises her eyebrow. And she lets the anger build up inside of her. _Paternity test?! Hell no this boy did NOT get someone else pregnant! _She's furious.

More drama? Now she doesn't even wanna _think_ about the wedding.

"LOGAN!" She yells from the room.

"Ouu, that doesn't sound too pleasant." Kendall says from downstairs. Logan's eyes literally widen and his heart is beating faster. His girlfriend literally makes him want to shit bricks when she's irate.

"Uh, see you guys later." He says as he gets up to go back upstairs.

"If you live." James added. They laugh as he's making his way up the stairs. He goes into his room and Christina looks _pissed. _

She's holding his phone.

_Oh fuck._

"Baby, I can explain-"

"What the fuck is this?! Who is making you take a test?! WHY!" She starts raising her voice.

"CHRISTINA. I will explain if you calm down! IT REALLY ISNT AS BAD AS IT SEEMS!" _He lied, _but how else could he try and get her to listen.

"ITS NOT AS BAD AS IT SEEMS?! LOGAN YOU'RE TAKING A PATERNITY TEST FOR SOME BITCH. MY BOYFRIEND COULD POSSIBLY BE THE FATHER OF SOMEONE ELSE'S BABY."

"Okaaaaay," he shrieks. "But I really dont need you to be upset cause I know for a fact I am not the father of that child. She's probably just doing this cause of money."

"Was it one of your hookups when we broke up?"

"..Yes. BUT I clearly remember using protection."

"I really dont wanna hear you talk about your hookups."

"Well how else can I explain?! I really just dont need you to be upset at me right now. I know we just got back onto good terms and everything, but I really dont need this breaking us apart again. Especially if I know I'm not responsible for getting her pregnant."

"And if you are?"

"Then babe. You're gonna have to understand that I have to help her out-"

"SO I'M just gonna be the girlfriend on the side while you go ahead and take care of the baby you have with someone else?!"

"SEE, i knew you wouldn't listen. At least I'm being honest with you right now, could you give me that?! I'm trying to prove to you and her that I'm not the father. I'm trying to do what I can. At least I'm helping her out a bit and I'm trying to be loyal to you about this." Her anger subsides. Okay, she understands what he's doing. But just the thought of him potentially being the father of someone else's child really irritates her. Pisses her off. Hurts her, alot.

"It's just knowing that you could potentially be the father of someone else's child.." She said as she looked down at her hands.

"I know baby. I would react the same exact way. But please. Just understand. I would never do this to you and us. Regardless of the shit we go through." _She cant be mad at him. _It does make her mad every time she thinks about it, but after that, she really cant be mad at him. He's trying. And honestly, she just doesnt have the energy to be mad anymore.

"I guess." She shrugs. "So when are you planning to take the test."

"I dont know, as soon as I can." She is sad though. So she nodds quietly and goes back to what she's doing before she saw the text. He notices her being awfully quiet. And upset.

"Babe, please. Dont be like this." She doesnt say anything. He kisses her on the cheek and waits for her reaction. Nothing. He grabs her chin this time, and plants a kiss on her lips. She looks at him softly, but turns her head back to the Mac's screen.

"I dont know what else to say." He understands. It would upset him too. It really would. He sighs and leaves her to her peace. As soon as he leaves, her tears start falling down.

_Really though, Logan? What else could you get yourself into? What else do I have to go through?_

She's tired. She really is tired. Investing all this energy and effort. Only to be brought down like this. She's done with dealing with the stress their relationship brings.

It's always something new everytime they try and get better.

Maybe it was good they didn't get married.

But getting back together? She doesn't even know how she feels about that now. She tries and she tries.

_But it's always something._

She doesn't know anymore.

Maybe they really weren't meant to be together.

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><p><strong>Reviews are much appreciated. (:<strong>


	24. Chapter 24

**Hello all! I have another chapter for you. :) I think it's prettttty intense! But you guys be the judge! Thank you for reading and for enjoying this story! I looove you guys!**

**I should be updating It Girl soon, too. Still debating about Complicated..**

**Happy Reading, though! (Sorry if it's kind of long, I typed away without even realizing how long it got)**

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><p>It was a new day. Logan was feeling too happy this morning. It was a good day. Well, at least it seemed like it would be. He was in a good mood. For no reason. He was just happy. So, he throws the covers off of his body and turns the radio on to Power 106. Jay Z is rapping his verse on the song <strong>Clique. <strong>_Ohh shit, that's the song right there. _His mood goes through the roof. He's bobbing his head as he heads to his closet and pulls out an outfit. He heads to the shower and puts on the outfit he planned to wear today.

Logan's plans for today: spend the day with his beautiful girlfriend.

It was his day off and it's nice as hell outside so he's not trying to waste the day staying in. He checks himself out in the mirror and smiles. _Damn, I'm attractive. _Logan always knew he was attractive, but he wasn't one to rub it in anyone's faces. It's nice to hear himself say it once in awhile for a boost in confidence, though. He sprays his cologne and steps out of his room. James is gone, meaning he's either working out at the gym, running at the beach or boxing. Either way, the dude is working out. It's only lunch time, so Carlos is dead. Kendall is probably strumming his guitar, trying to figure out another song to make another cover to.

Sooner or later, Logan's in his car on his way to Christina's place. Radio blasting, windows slightly down. He hasn't heard much from Samantha. He did take the test though, but she hasn't really hit him up. He was informed it would take about 3 days or so to get results back and those 3 days are coming to an end quick. Whatever though, he wasn't stressing as much cause he just _knew. _So, he puts that in the back of his head and goes on with life. Christina, on the other hand, she's been kind of weird after she found out about the whole thing. He would feel the same exact way. But, he just hopes it's a phase because he really cant deal with losing her again. They go through too much sometimes. He believes it makes them stronger every time though.

Logan parks his car in the usual spot and heads up to her apartment. He unlocks her door with the key he has and sees her on the couch, lounging in her pajamas and Mochi on her lap.

"Babe, what? Why arent you ready?" He slowly closes the door behind him.

"We're going somewhere?"

"Yes! Silly." He plops onto the couch, next to her. Mochi crawls over to him and starts licking his face.

"Where?" Christina's eyebrow is raised. Logan was a bit weirded out. She seemed like a robot right now and he couldn't understand why. She was asking unnecessary questions .. Which she usually doesnt do.

"I dont know? Out and About. Around LA. We'll have fun and enjoy the day. Coooome on, get dressed."

"Jesus, okay." She says quietly. Okay, now he's actually kind of worried. Why is she being like this? Before she gets up to go to her room, Logan pulls her down by the arm and kisses her. After they pull away, she looks at him softly and continues to go into her room. _The fuck? _Logan follows her into the room and leans against the closet door frame. He watches her go through some clothes. "Is it hot?" She asks.

"Yep. Pretty damn hot." Christina nodds and makes her way out of the closet without really acknowledging Logan. He sighs and sits on her bed with Mochi still in his arms, waiting patiently for her to come out of the bathroom.

Once she does, his mouth drops a bit. She always knew what to wear. She was wearing some acid-washed high waist shorts and a camo crop top, revealing a bit of her tummy in between the two pieces of cothing. She had on some originial white chucks on. Her hair was down. Flawless.

"You are so damn gorgeous." She looks at him and smiles a bit.

"Thanks babe. So are you." She replies. Oookay, so maybe she just needed to warm up. Maybe she was just having an off day. Sooner or later, she grabs her bag and stares at him. "Ready?"

"Yep." Christina grabs Mochi's leash as they head out. They get in the car and Logan starts driving. Where they're going, he doesn't really know yet. But he just wants to have a chill day with her. So maybe they'll walk around The Grove. Go into the Observatory. Get some milk tea and walk around Santa Monica and get Apple Pan for dinner.

Sounds like a great plan.

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><p><em><strong>Amanda's POV<strong>_

It's the weekend and there was a party being held tonight. I was debating on whether or not I should go. It's been a couple of weeks since the incident. And I was slowly recovering. Better than before. Stronger than before, I'd like to hope. But, I was scared of it happening again. I havent been out with friends in what feels like forever. Haven't been to parties. Any get-togethers. Not because of shame, just because I didnt wanna be around people. Now, its kind of different. I want to be out.

I need to get out away from this drama Ma and Pop have going on. It really isnt helping. Idk what Ma would say about me going to a party though. But, my teammates are going. So this time, I'll actually have a solid group of friends there with me.

_I just need to get out._

My phone is blowing up from texts, esp. from my teammates. If I go, I'd be sleeping at one of my teammates' house. Should I make up a lie or...?

No. I cant. I'll just be straight up with Ma.

I felt like dressing up a bit. I put on some sheer leggings, high-waist shorts, a white muscle tank with a black cross on the front (tucked in the front), a black and gold sparkly batwing cardigan, and brown combat boots. I put on a maroon beanie and parted my hair to each side. I put on a bit of eyeliner and mascara.

I was going all out. Why? No reason. Just wanted to enjoy the time out.

I grabbed my smallest Nike duffle bag and stuffed it with clothes and any other necessities for tonight and tomorrow. I walked out with all my stuff, and waited in the living room for my teammate to come and pick me up.

"Jeez, sweetheart. I dont think I've seen you this dressed up in awhile. What's the special occasion?"

"Party tonight with the teammates."

"Party? Are you sure you're ready for that?" Ma's facial expression had worried written all over it. I shrugged.

"Sure. I just need to get out, Ma."

"Well... okay. Your teammates are gonna be there, right?"

"Yes, Ma. Promise."

"Okay. Don't separate from them. You know who to call if anything happens. Are you coming home tonight?"

"No, We're all staying at Kalyn's."

"Okay. Text me when you get there, when you leave, when you get to Kalyn's. Text. Me."

"OOOKAY Ma." I rolled my eyes and scrolled through my phone. I knew she was just doing this for my own good, but jeez. I just can't handle all this right now. I've been so annoyed with her, papa and all this unnecessary arguing. They really have no idea how it makes me feel.

"Okay, Amanda. Well, I'm gonna head out with some friends. I'll talk to you later." She grabbed her purse, kissed me on the head and walked out. "DONT FORGET TO TEXT ME!" She yelled before leaving.

Sooner or later, we were on our way to the party. It wasnt too far from the house, which was good. Just in case. When we got there, the house was crowded. Full of people. Just like after prom. Music was blasting in the background. Cups, alcohol and weed everywhere. People cupcaking and all that business.

_No sign of Cameron._

At least, not yet. I shook my head and followed the girls to the kitchen. We poured ourselves some drinks and walked to the most active part of the party.

_Enjoy yourself, Amanda. It's been awhile._

I smiled as I saw my teammates starting dancing along to the music. So I joined along.

Maybe tonight wouldn't be as bad as I thought it would be.

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><p>Logan and Christina had gone around to all the places Logan had thought of earlier. At The Grove, he spoiled his lady with a few things even though she refused and didn't want him to. They walked through the exhibits at the Observatory and looked at the view. They had Apple Pan and now they were on their way to Santa Monica with milk tea in their hands. The sun was slowly going down and it was perfect. Christina's been a bit better throughout the day, laughing here and there. Talking about a few random things.<p>

But Logan noticed she still wasn't herself. Somehow.

To be honest, Christina's been thinking a lot about them. Somehow she knows he isn't the father of that baby, but he'd still be around to help take care of that girl and that baby. Not that its a bad thing, Logan was nice enough to do so. But first of all, she doesnt wanna share her man like that. Two, she knows their relationship will ALWAYS be around drama, regardless. Three, they bring out the best AND the worst in each other. Which is kind of bad.

She's tired. She's honestly so tired. Mentally, physically, emotionally. She can't find herself loving and indulging into the relationship like she used to after she found out. She will ALWAYS love Logan. She will ALWAYS be in love with him. But, _maybe this is what's best for them. _

This time she's trying to listen to her head and not her heart, because they always end up getting hurt that way.

Maybe they just couldn't be together. No matter how hard they wanted to try and try. It just wouldnt work out that way.

She just felt it in her gut.

It makes her so sad. She wanted him to be the one. But it's too early to tell. She WANTS him to be the one. But its hard to see that after everything.

_If it's meant to be, it'll happen._

Now, they were walking around, buying a few more things before retreating to the beach. Christina sat criss-crossed on the blanket, with Mochi sitting quietly in between her legs. She sipped on her milk tea while Logan was sitting up next to her, doing the same thing.

"Its beautiful, huh?"

"Yeah, one of the reasons why I love living here." Christina said quietly.

"Babe?" Logan asked, lookng at her. He stroked his thumb down her arm and she looked at him.

"Yes?"

"Do you think we'll ever be ready to move on to the wedding? I know thats kind of jumping the gun, but.. it's been bugging me." She didnt say anything, but she kept looking at him. She frowned, making him worry a bit.

"I-I dont know."

"What? What do you mean? You can't tell me you haven't been thinking about the wedding and us and how we should-"

"Logan.." She said a bit firmly and looked at him. He stopped, confused. "What are you talking about? We cant just get back together and then get married like that."

"What? So you haven't been be thinking about it?"

"No. I have, but I dont want a wedding right now Logan. It's not a priority.." No matter how much that hurt both of them. It was true. "We've been going through so much, dont you think we should just focus on US. And improving our relationship?"

"Improving our relationship? Babe, what are you even saying. I thought we were doing fine."

"Really? Do you REALLY think we've been perfectly fine?"

"Okay, not perfect. But. Don't let what's happening take everything away from us."

"It HAS taken everything away from us. ME, mainly. Logan, our relationship just has so much drama. When we argue, we bring out the worst in each other. Havent you ever thought that maybe, this just isnt working out?" His heart dropped. Hers did too. But no one would address the situation if she wasn't going to.

"Please dont talk that way. "

"I know it hurts, baby. It sucks. But it's reality. Everytime we try and try to get better, we do, then things all go downhill. It's the same cycle every time. You even ALMOST got yourself into the worse predicament ever. Being the potential father of someone else's baby."

"I said I was sorry, Christina. You know I would never do anything to hurt you or us like that. At all. Please."

"I dont know. I've just been thinking. As much as I love you, and want to be with you until death do us part. You mean everything to me and nothing about our relationship was ever a lie. We just haven't been working out.. and I'm just so tired." She was tearing up at this point. She really wanted to just drop everything but she couldnt. He didnt say anything. But he already felt himself getting depressed. He turned to her and wiped her tears away.

"But I need to be with you, Christina." He whispered.

"I know baby." She whispered. "But I need to not be with you..." She cried some more. He definitely didn't think the night would turn out this way at all. And he was so depressed it did.

So now, they both don't know where they're at. As much as they want to be with each other, Christina isn't letting them.

The ride back to her apartment was quiet. No radio, no talking. Just the sound of the car and the surroundings. Once they got back to her apartment, he parked the car and looked at her.

"I'll call you when I get home?" She looked at him and nodded. He was hoping she'd lean in and kiss him.

But she didnt. She left.

Was she really done?

_If it's meant to be it'll happen._

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><p><em><strong>Amanda's POV<strong>_

At this point, I was tipsy beyond my mind. But it felt good. It honestly felt great. And there was no Cameron in sight. Just me, my girls and the party. We were dancing the night away and mingling with the people from school. I was having the time of my life.

And I was happy it ended out this way.

Until the door opens.

"CAAAAMERON!" I hear being yelled from the front of the house. _Hell no. Hell to the fuck no. _My buzz dies down. Completely. I stop everything I'm doing. Cause now, I'm just uncomfortable. Kalyn, a teammate of mine, noticed my mood had switched.

"Hey, are you okay?" She touched my arm.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. Dont worry."

"Are you sure? We can leave now if you want."

"Kalyn, I'm fine. I promise." She stared at me for a minute until she nodded.

"Okay. Just let me know if you need anything." I nodded and stayed close to her. By this time Cameron and his guys were a couple of steps away from us, saying their hello's to everyone.

I really didn't want him to get near me. But I felt his presence getting closer.

"Suup, cutie?" I heard him say. If I had the balls to punch the dude right now, I would. Kalyn gripped my arm and pulled me closer to her as she glared at him. "Damn, Kalyn. Share wont you? I'll be better this time." He smirked at me.

"Shut the fuck up Cameron. You have no business over here. Leave her alone." Kalyn said sternly. He threw his hands up and laughed as he backed up.

"My bad. Didn't know there was so much hostility. I'll leave ya'll to your peace." With that he walked away.

"Thanks, Kalyn."

"No problem. I got you." She smiled. But now I felt queasy. Flashbacks of prom night started filling my head. _I had to get out of here. _

"I'll be right back." She nodded as I walked towards the bathroom. On my way over there, I felt someone grab my arm.

It would be Cameron.

He tugged me closer to him until we were face to face.

"So, do I finally get time with you since you aren't with Kalyn?" _Is this dude mentally retarded? Is he really acting like he didnt hurt and rape me? _

"Cameron, get the fuck away from me. Seriously."

"And what? You don't have anyone here to save you besides your friends over there. I promise I'll be nicer tonight. If you just give me the chance."

"Please, back the fuck up. There is no way in hell I'll be dealing with your filthy ass."

"Filthy?" He scoffed. "Just because we had history doesn't mean I'm filthy. Girls would be dying for this opportunity right now."

"History? No. You RAPED me, and that doesn't make it history. It's still in my head, dumbass. And I'm sure, so go find yourself one of those girls cause it ain't me." He was furious. But I knew I had gotten him. He didnt have anything else to say. He pounded on the wall behind us and walked away. _Phew. _I felt some tears coming. But I had no idea why. I ran to the bathroom, locked it and took my phone out from my pocket.

Who to call? Mom? Hell no. I didnt wanna deal with her right now. Felicia? No, she'd tell mom then I'd have to deal with both of them. Christina?

I dialed her number. Called her about three times. No answer.

Fuck.

James? No. Logan? No. Kendall? No. Carlos?

I call Carlos. By the second ring, he answers.

"Amanda?"

"Carlos?"

"What's up? Are you alright?"

"Yes. Or.. Idk, can you pick me up?" I blurted. I was starting to panick. And this wasn't good for me.

"Yeah, where are you?"

"At a party." I tell him the address. My legs start shaking and I'm NEEDING to get out of this place.

"Alright, I'll be there soon. Keep your phone on you."

"Okay."

I sat and waited. Hearing knocks on the door. I yelled for people to leave because I was "sick" in here and they wouldn't like it. I sat and sat. Until he texted me saying he was outside. I rush out of the bathroom and run to Kalyn to get my stufff out of her car. Once we get my stuff, she makes sure I'll be okay and to text her.

"You smell like straight alcohol. Are you okay?" I nodded and he sighed. "No, you arent. What happened."

"Can I tell you when we get to your place?"

"Suure. You dont wanna go home?"

"No. That's the last place I wanna be right now. My mom thinks I'll be at Kalyn's anyways."

"Well, alright."

The rest of the ride is silent. I just wanna sleep. Lay down. Relax. Be in peace. Maybe it was too soon for me to be going out like that. I was scared all over again. My heart racing. I felt sick. Sooner or later, we were making our way up to his room. Everyone seemed dead. I never see the other guys anymore. At least James and Kendall. I see Logan's ass all the time. He's probably with Christina though. I havent heard from either of them in awhile.

It was about to be 1am. Time went by so quick without me even knowing it. I went into the bathroom to change into some comfy clothes, hollister shorts and a vneck. I tied my hair up in a messy bun and sat on Carlos' bed. He was at the other end, flipping channels. He turns to me, and sits next to me.

"So. Tell me. What happened. I'm not letting you sleep until I know what happened." I sighed.

"I thought it would be good to party and get away from all this drama my mom and dad are going through. So I partied with my teammates. At first, I thought it'd be all good. I was tipsy, having a good time. Until Cameron and his boys walk in." Carlos clenches his jaw. But he doesnt say anything. "Kalyn was doing a good job of keeping him away from me. But as soon as he walked in, I felt queasy as fuck. Sick. Like I really needed to get out of there. So I tried running to the bathroom, but he grabs my wrist. And he's telling me all this shit like he'll be nicer and how girls would be dying for this opportunity. And I called him out on it. Surprisingly he left me alone. But I just had to leave. It was probably too soon for me to get back into that scene."

"Well, I'm glad you're okay. Good thing he didn't do anything or else I would have to go back and beat his ass. Is he retarded? Does he really think he's slick and could get away with shit?" I felt Carlos getting angrier.

"Carlos, its fine. I'm here now." He sighed.

"Fine. Just keep your distance okay? You have good judgement."

"I know." I looked at him. He was just looking at me. More like analyzing.

"You're too pretty for him anyways." I smiled a bit. But he was still staring. Then his face got closer to mine.

_Lips touching. Butterflies._

His lips were soft as hell. And that kiss made me giddy. Is this wrong? He's like my brother. Even though we arent that far age-wise, we always treated each other like brother and sister. But it made me happy. So I leaned in again, this time our kiss was more forceful. Passionate. When we pulled away, I bit my lip. He smiled at me and got up to walk to his closet. I helped myself into his covers and cuddled into fetal position.

_Was this wrong?_

Half of me said no. Its Carlos. He wouldn't do anything to hurt me. And from a simple kiss, i felt like the happiest girl alive. But the other half said this would be wrong. For what reason? I dont know. It'd just be weird.

I hope he isnt weirded out.

I close my eyes. But I keep thinking about what just happened.

Then I feel somebody crawl in next to me. Tv still on and everything. I feel the heat from his body. So I cant help but turn and lay on his chest. He has an arm around me and his thumb is stroking my arm.

He kisses my forehead.

_All of a sudden, everything felt so right._

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><p><strong>Reviews are much appreciated! :)<strong>


	25. Chapter 25

**Lol, I suddenly just got a bunch of ideas, so I needed to continue writing for this story. If there's one thing about my stories, it's that they always have a twist. A crazy, "didn't see that coming" kind of twist. And well, I dropped about three of those from the last chapter and this one. Trust me, it'll get better as time goes on. You guys do trust me right?**

**If I get a few more reviews or anything, I'll continue updating this. I need to get It Girl up to this level, haha.**

**Happy Reading :) !**

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><p>The next morning, Amanda wakes up, amazed by the dream she has. It was her. And Carlos. And they-<p>

There's an arm around her. This isn't her bed. So she starts panicking a bit. She turns to see Carlos, fast asleep, still holding onto her.

_So it wasn't a dream._

She's actually really happy it wasn't a dream. But it's still kind of weird how she ended up here.. with him. Amanda tries to get up slowly so she doesn't wake him.

"Hey, where are you going?" He says sleepily. She smiled to herself and looked back down at him.

"I dont know, I was gonna get up?"

"No." He pulls her back down so they're spooning again. _Spooning, haha. _She thinks. How awkward. She's not even sleepy anymore, so she's just gonna lay there. She tries peeking over her shoulder to see if he's really still sleeping. "What." He says with his eyes closed.

"Jeez, Carlitos. So hostile. I'm not sleepy anymore, do you expect me to just lay here?"

"Then don't lay with me!" He pouts. Finally opens his eyes. She turns towards him and smiles. He looks at her and smiles back. "So."

"So..?"

"Is Miss Amanda Vega gonna lay another kiss on these lips?" He puckers up his lips. _Why is he just so adorably awkward? _

"Ew. Stop."

"God. Even in these circumstances, you're still mean."

"I am not mean, you're just awkward."

"So I'm making everything awkward now."

"Shuuuuuutuuuuup." She laughs and digs her head into the pillow. She senses him getting closer until she finally feels his lips on her temple. She looks up at his nose is almost touching hers. She plants a kiss on his lips, but he doesnt pull away. And the kiss becomes more intense. Before he could really get into it, she pulls away, smiles and hops out of bed

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. How could you do that to me!?"

"I'm hungry." She says digging through her bag.

"Okay. Food over Carlos."

"Stop being so butthurt. Your ass is hungry too, I felt that tummy growl."

"Whatever, you got me."

"Are you gonna make me food?" She looks up at him and smiles as she's still crouched down by her bag.

"Suure." He smiles and kisses the top of her head before going to his closet. She puts on a pair of sweats over her shorts and lets her hair down. It's all curly and a hot mess, but she could care less right now. Carlos puts a hoodie over his beater and stays in the same basketball shorts. As they walk out together, Logan is walking out of his room as well. Logan has to do a double-take.

He is so confused. He doesn't know if he's really seeing Amanda come out of Carlos' room or if he's just hallucinating.

"Amanda?"

"Hi Loges." The two smile at him.

".. Do I want to know?"

"Know what?" Carlos asks. Amanda giggles before she goes down the stairs and Carlos follows behind her.

He's really fucking confused. And weirded out. He just can't imagine those two having a thing for each other. It'd take awhile to get used to. _She really just walked out of his room. _Amanda was like his little sister, too. So knowing that she's probably dating his bestfriend is just weird as hell to him. He can't even explain what he's feeling right now. _Ew._

He goes back into the room and sits on his bed, contemplating if he should tell Christina. First of all, their conversation was too dull last night. Second, he really feels that vibe between them dying down. It's sad, but what can he do? Third.. just.. No. She'll probably hear from her sister soon. He didn't wanna be a snitch. After all that contemplating, he went downstairs seeing Carlos and Amanda laughing. He's cooking breakfast for her and they're being all cupcakey. Gross. But at the same time, Logan knows how that feels. He kind of wishes him and Christina were still on that level. He doesn't know what they are at the moment.

"Suuup man, I made some breakfast." Carlos said to Logan as he entered the kitchen.

"You sure Miss OmNom over there isnt gonna eat it all?"

"Logie, shutup. God. You're just mad cause I'm cuter than you." Amanda wiggled her eyebrows.

"Riiiight." Logan helps himself to some breakfast and hears the other two coming down the stairs. This will be interesting.

"Something smells good." Kendall said walking into the kitchen first. "Oh, whatsup Amanda." He said looking into the fridge. He, too, had to do a double-take. "Amanda? What are you doing here?"

"Amanda? Where?" James asked coming into the kitchen.

"WOW. So welcoming. So, so welcoming." Amanda rolled her eyes.

"What are you doing here, munchkin?" Kendall laughed and messed up her hair a bit.

"First of all, I am now 19. So that doesn't make me a munchkin. Second, can I not be here?"

"It's just weird how you are." Kendall replied, helping himself to some food.

"Okay. I guess I can't come visit my favorite boys." Kendall shrugs. Logan's having a hard time keeping his mouth shut, but he doesn't know if they're trying to make their little fling known or what. So he doesn't say anything. He'll wait until they get more serious. IF they get more serious. By this time, Amanda was done eating and so was Logan. He wanted to be with Christina today too. Hoping everything she said yesterday was just a phase. But, that wouldn't happen. He'll just give her space.

"Oh hey, Loges you should drop off this plate of food and dessert for Christina before it goes bad." Carlos slightly shoves the tuperwares towards Logan.

"Uhhh, I'll pass. I'm not hanging out with her today." Logan leaves the kitchen, kind of leaving everyone dumbfounded. Arguing, again? No one knows. But they shrug it off.

"I guess I'll take it if you guys are too lazy to." Kendall shrugs.

"You know I'm not one for driving in these crazy ass roads." James looks at him.

"Annnd, it'd be kind of weird for Logan if I took it." Carlos bluntly says.

"Alright, alright."

"Welp, guess I'm tagging along with you then. Mind bringing me home?" Amanda smiles at him. He raises his eyebrow as he looks down at the girl.

"How'd you even get here?"

"Transportation, how else." She walks upstairs and smiles at Kendall the whole way up. He shakes his head.

"Whatever, I'll be in the car!" Kendall grabs the food and heads to his BMW. He sits in there for about another 5-6 more minutes until Amanda finally gets into the car. "Jeez. Took you long enough."

"Wow, excuse you sassy pants." Kendall's caught off guard a bit. She's in an abnormally good mood and he cant really figure out why. It's already weird enough how he wakes up to her in their kitchen. _Whatever's her business, is her business. _

Sometimes he wants to strangle the guys for being so lazy. He's always the one on the run, buying things for the house. He may not be an organized person, but he'll do things when necessary. Like, you know. Keep food in the house. All James does is work out, sing and rant about the randomest things. Carlos sleeps the whole day away and plays video games. Which brings him to another point. He was up early enough to make breakfast. Not gonna lie, Kendall could sleep the day away and play games too. But like he said, he'll do things when he needs to. And whatsup with Logan? He couldnt figure it out. _I'll pass? _Since when does he say that about Christina?

Today barely started and everything's weird as hell. But he's just gonna shake it off. He hates thinking about things like this.

"I like your haircut." Amanda says. He looks at her to see if she's kidding. But she just smiles. Her and Christina have the closest resemblance. Felicia is just.. Felicia. In a good way though.

"Well, thank you. I like your.. Nothing." He laughs and she hits him. "I'm just kidding. You know I love you like a little sister Amanda."

"Whatever, dude."

"So are you gonna tell me why you were at the house randomly?"

"Ohhhhmahhhgahhhhd. I said I was visiting! It was on the way home from the party I was at last night." Amanda lied. "Shoot me for wanting to stop by!"

"Okay, okay! No need for hostility. I believe you." _Not really. _But if she wants to lie her way out of things, he'll leave it at that. _Must be awkward to be Amanda Vega right now._

"Good. I was about to whoop your ass in about 5 seconds."

"Jesus." It was funny how each Vega had their own personalities. Felicia was the control freak / mom. Literally a mom, to like everyone. Christina was the independent, hardworking, smart, lady-like "bro friend." Amanda was the athletic, ratchet one. Speaking of ratchet, she switches the station to Power 106. She starts singing along to the song playing over the radio.

"I be yellin' like whooo booty is it, whooo booty is it, who booty, who booty, who booty issss it!" She sings as she dances in her seat. Kendall starts frowning at the fuckery that is happening in his passenger seat.

"You. Logan. Carlos. Always listening to the most foul music ever."

"It is not foul! Live a little, Kendork."

"I live a lot, actually." He laughs, but lets the girl blast the music in his car. They're seconds away from her house anyways. When they get there, she hugs Kendall goodbye and thanks him for the ride.

Now he can drive in peace.

Sooner or later, he's at Christina's. It's kind of weird. He hasn't been here in awhile. And he never usually plans on being at her place. They dont even come here for hangouts anymore. He misses her though, he feels like he hasn't seen her in awhile. And he's hoping he didnt catch her at a bad time. Or else it'd be pretty awkward. He knocks on her door and she opens it a bit confused.

"Delivery?" He says with his arms open. She smiles a bit and steps aside to let him in. He pets Mochi a bit before returning his attention to Christina.

"Hey Kendall, whatsup?" She closes the door and looks at him.

"Brought you some food, courtesy of the boys." She smiles and takes the tuperwares.

"Thank you. You guys didn't have to."

"Yeah we did. Uh, I volunteered to the bring the food over cause all the guys were being lazy." He plops onto the couch, his right foot resting on his left knee.

"That's sweet." She smiles and sits next to him on the couch.

"I feel like I havent been here in ages. Or.. seen you in ages. How've you been?"

"Alright. You?"

"Same. You and Logan okay?"

"Uhhh.. We're just taking a break right now." In her case they were. In Logan's case, he just didn't know. So be it.

"What? Is that why he's weird whenever I mention your name? What's going on?"

"I dont know. I've done a lot of thinking about our relationship. We've been through a lot. And we try to make our relationship work. But we always get thrown downhill. I just feel like maybe we just aren't meant to happen right now.. Idk. It's hard to explain. But if it's meant to happen, it'll happen."

"I understand. Why the sudden change though?"

"Well. We JUST got back together and we already have that babydaddy drama."

"True. Well. Whatever happens, I hope you guys work it out for the best." She smiles.

"Thanks, Kendall. How about you?"

"Me? I'm fine on my own. Takin' life as it comes."

"Good for you." She chuckles a bit. "I need to learn how to do that. I also need to learn how to not be with Logan. You know? Depending on him for my happiness and stuff. I've grown accustomed to him being.. there."

"Yeah, I know. It's never easy this far along into your relationship. I mean, you guys were ready to get married. But if you need to take a break and step back for a bit, then do so. He shouldn't blame you. It really could benefit the both of you."

"Yeah, that's so true. I dont know, we haven't really talked after last night."

"I don't really like butting into anybody's relationship business. Soo.."

"It's okay, I respect that." Christina smiles at him. Thank Jesus he wasn't the one to do so. Christina's not sure she can handle more people asking about their relationship. _Hello, there's more important things out there._

"Do you ever get bored being here by yourself?"

"Sometimes. It gets a bit lonely. Esp. during these times." She chuckles to herself again.

"Well, if you ever need anyone to hang out with, just give me a ring." He says a bit awkwardly. He tried not to say that in a flirty way, but there was no way around it.

"That's good to know."

"Oh, I didnt even ask. Do you want a drink or anything?" She gets up, preparing to walk to the kitchen.

"I'm good."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Thanks." She smiles. As she's about to walk to the kitchen, she trips over his foot. His left hand goes on her back and his right arm in front of her to catch her. Prevent her from falling. He pushes her back down so she somehow lands on his lap. And they're now face to face.

Awkward? A bit. Their noses are almost touching. She can feel his breath on her lips.

"Sorry." She whispers. She tries to look away, but he grabs her face gently. To make her face him again. He doesn't know what takes over him, but he brings her face towards his and kisses her. He hasn't dealt with a girl in awhile. Is he just horny? No. It's just timing. And it's kind of weird how she all of a sudden lands on his lap like that. Right in his face. Like its a sign telling him to just fucking kiss her already. She's beautiful, so just kiss the girl. Does he feel bad about Logan? A bit. He was the one breaking up the fights between him and Carlos and now he's getting himself into the same situation.

He sees why Carlos did what he did though.

_No. No. Don't get yourself sucked into the same situation, Kendall._

He just cant find himself taking his lips off of hers.

Vibration.

Saved by the bell. His phone vibrates continuously, signaling a call. That's when they stop. But they just smile. She quietly gets off of him and walks to the kitchen like she's supposed to. Kendall gets up and looks at his phone. A missed call from Carlos. Reality starts sinking in a bit. Its silent in the house.

He has to go.

"I needa head out. I'll text you later?" He smiles at her before leaving.

"Mhm."

_What the actual fuck? _What else is next? She's done this with Carlos, now Kendall? It's kind of just proving her statement right. Maybe this wasn't right for them right now. To be together. Everytime Logan does something, she finds herself falling into a deeper hole. Into more complex situations.

She really didn't think she'd end up kissing Kendall by the time his visit was up. She really didn't think about Kendall at all. Now it's just a different story.

She could tell he knew how to love a girl.

Was this an excuse? Because she isn't finding this in her relationship with Logan?

She doesn't know. But she likes it.

Kendall does too. And he wants to do it again. Unlike Carlos, he wants to keep going. He wants to actually see this girl. He wants to be with her when Logan isn't. _It's bad. It's bad as fuck. _But. Damn.

Just, damn. He just doesn't understand how that even happened.

When he gets home, its obvious he's confused about something.

"Yoo, where have you been?" Carlos peeks into his room.

"Oh uh, nowhere. Just spent time talking to Mama Vega before dropping off the food."

"Oh is she okay?"

"Yeah."

"Whats wrong with you?"

"What? Oh, uh, nothing dude. I'm fine. I just felt kind of sick out of nowhere. I might just nap."

"Oh... okay." Carlos knows that shit is lie, but whatever. He'll let the dude go. Kendall's never really gotten into his business before, so Carlos won't get into his. "Lemme know if you need anything." He closes the door.

* * *

><p>That night, everyone's in their own little world. Amanda's happily texting Carlos. Kendall's texting Christina. James is texting his new girl. And Logan... Logan's trying to talk to Christina.<p>

He has no idea that someone else is making her happy at the moment.

Their conversation is still a bit dull, but it's a conversation and Logan's fine with that.

But with Kendall, it's smileys every text. Having a thing with Kendall makes her feel rebellious. And good.

Logan misses her so much. He really hopes this phase passes by. He just wants his girl back. This random downhill movement of their relationship isn't doing him justice.

_**But I need to not be with you...**_

Everytime those words come into his head, he can't help but die a bit inside. Why? Why does she not want to be with him? Her reasoning makes sense. But you can't just throw away a relationship like theirs without even trying once more. He promises it'll be different this time. And he'll prove it. Bullshit aside. No more fucking around. None of that shit. It would just be her and him. He feels kind of bad he realizes how much she means to him after all this. She's always meant the world to him, but knowing she actually might be done with him hurts him the most. He found out that he _really fucking loved that girl. _He could try and move on. But he knows he'll miss her. Her touch, her kiss, her smell. Everything. Any other girl just wouldn't be the same. Just wouldn't compare.

Half of him understands where she's coming from. And she's right. But the other half just cant do it. He can't let her go.

_**Hey, I got the results.**_

Samantha's number pops up on his screen, pulling him out of his thoughts. He replies back. Kind of anxious, but he shouldn't be. Everyone knows damn well he isn't the father.

_**It's your baby.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews are much appreciated!<strong>


	26. Chapter 26

**You guys are great. Period. The excitement is strong. And I can't wait for you guys to see what else is in store! Thank you again. :)**

**The excerpt is from: Just Fine - Chris Brown.**

**Let me know your thoughts!**

**Happy Reading!**

* * *

><p>You would think that everyone close enough to talk about anything. Bad or good. Not in this case. Everyone's close, but distant. No one knows anything anymore. Its been a couple of days. Almost a week or so. Amanda and Carlos have been keeping their relationship on the low. Why? They just don't need anyone's shit right now. They knew people would be <em>okay <em>with the fact that they were dating. But not entirely fine. It'd be awkward for everyone and they'd keep giving them shit about age and how they've always had a brother/sister relationship. _No shit, they know that. _But sometimes, these kind of relationships turn out to be the best ones. So no, they dont need that shit. If they liked each other, they liked each other. And it was their relationship, no one else's.

And shit only gets better, because on top of their secret relationship, Kendall and Christina have their little affair going on too. Both Kendall and Christina knew the shit they were doing was bad. Her and Logan weren't even completely over. They had that guilt building inside of them, but everytime they tried to stop, they _just couldnt. _She found something in him that satisfied the lack of comfort she was seeking. Comfort and so much more. He was so carefree and willing to go with the flow, he had no care in the world. And Christina respected that. He didn't even have to try. _They also knew it was just an infatuation phase. _Sooner or later, reality would sink in. But until then, nothing else really mattered. _Talk about finding love in a hopeless place._

Then there's Logan. He really wishes he had Christina with him to help him deal with this shit. All along, he and everyone else was so confident he wasn't the father. Wishful thinking? No. Something inside of him can't believe it at all. He remembers wrapping up, he clearly remembers everything. It can't be possible. So it just can't be. Samantha hasn't showed him any documents for proof, for one thing. But isn't it kind of shady to be doubting the own mother of the baby? A mother knows best. And if she has a test to prove it then, well. Okay. He hasn't told Christina. And he doesn't think he will. Right now, at least. He doesn't have the balls to. Let him build up that up first and he'll do it. _A fucking baby on the way, though?_

_**Christina's POV**_

I haven't talked to Logan in what seems like forever. But I'm okay with it. I dont know if that's a good or bad thing, but I just.. can't right now. It's not that I've forgotten about him. He's still in my head. I could never forget about him. But I just need a break. It's just that I cant find myself loving him and being the same in this relationship. I'm so emotionally exhausted.

I need _me _time.

My shift was from 7-3pm today. And it was almost over. I needed to do some grocery shopping afterwards or else I'd be living off of cereal for another day. Lucky Charms are good, but it could only get you so far throughout the week. I've been in a good mood so far. Like I've learned how to stop dwelling on the negativity. Shit, I just feel good. And I'm not saying Kendall's the whole reason why. I've just found myself in a better place.

No, I wasnt using Kendall to satisfy my needs. He really makes a girl happy. It's always fun to be around him. And it's never too serious.

Marriage.

Me and Logan were so close to getting married. Everything just makes me realize how much we're not ready for that.

"Earth to Christina." Will waves his hand in front of my face.

"Sorry, Will."

"You alright?"

"Yeup, just spaced out a bit." I smiled at him. I didnt feel like explaining anything. _There wasn't much to explain._

"Well, if you say so." He chuckles a bit and digs into the fridge for some food. "What time are you off?"

"In about.." I looked at my phone. I had a text from Kendall, making me smile to myself. "15 minutes."

"I guess someone's in a good mood?" I smiled at him. "Stop that. Creep." He said jokingly.

"I'm not a creep. I'm just having a good day."

"You've been having plenty of these good days. What is it?"

"Nothing. It's beautiful outside." He looked at me weirdly.

"Yeah..?"

"That is all."

"You're so weird, dude. But whatever it is, I'm glad it's making you happy."

"Thanks." I put the last spoonful of salad in my mouth and threw my garbage away. I left the room to check on the last patient before ending my shift. Getting to my car, I sat for awhile before starting it.

_**Hey. I kinda sorta miss you? Just kind of. :) See you later? - Kendall.**_

_**I guess that's good enough. I kinda sorta miss you too. :) Great, a pain in the ass is coming over.**_

_**Well. If that's how you really feel, then yeah. I am. So, too bad. You can either be happy about it or.. be happy about it. Pick. - Kendall.**_

_**The first one sounds good!**_

_**Good. I thought so. Tell me when you're home. So, I'll see you in a bit, cutesmagootes. - Kendall.**_

I smiled at his text and put my phone down, ready to head to Costco. I needed things in bulk, so it would last me for awhile. The only thing I hated about costco: The long ass lines. But the cashiers were good about scanning things up quick. While I'm at it, I'll get some pizza and salad for me and the butthead.

Once I got to the nearest Costco, I swooped on a parking spot nearby the entrance. I grabbed myself a cart and strolled right in. The smell of the food was filling my nose, kind of making me excited for some Costco pizza. I made my way to the back, starting where the pastries were.

Let's just say I'm stocking up on food. Like, tons of it.

Muffins, bread, Alcohol even? No. I'm not the one to keep alcohol in the house. I'm alone most of the time. And drinking alone is never fun.

I made my way over to the fruits. A fruit salad sounded good right now. With some yogurt. Daaamn. My ass just wants everything. Gotta love Costco.

So I continue to grab the fruits I need. Some salad necessities. Maybe I'll make dinner tonight. I grabbed the rotisserie chicken and put it in the cart. I found myself strolling along the beverages and I grabbed whatever I needed and made my way down the aisles.

"Christina?" I'm pulled out of my own world as I started strolling down the freezer aisles. I turn to see who the person pushing the cart next to me is.

_Lol, it would be Logan. Laugh. Out. Loud._

This is awkward.

"Hey." I smiled softly at him. He kind of chuckles.

"Taking your shopping seriously I see." He looks at my cart, almost full.

"Yeah, I don't have much left at home." I shrugged.

"You're so tiny compared to the cart." He laughs a bit.

"Wow, okay thanks.." I rolled my eyes. Well now that's even more awkward cause we used to do these shopping trips together and he was the one hauling everything. Now my itty bitty self has to do it. _I wonder what would have happened if he saw me and Kendall shopping together._

"Just saying." He smiles at me. "I miss you. You been okay?"

"I miss you too." I actually really do miss the guy. He's acting like we haven't seen each other in ages. Which may be accurate. We dont talk as much either. But we still havent really called it quits. It's in limbo. "Yeah, I've been alright. You?"

"I guess so. Could be better." I know that line. I really dont know what to say to that. Cause I want him to be better while we're apart. But that only leaves one solution: _Me._

"You'll be okay, Logan." Is all I can say back to him. He kind of frowns a bit. I know what he's thinking. He wishes I had something else. Like maybe, just drop everything and get back together. I just can't.

"I'll be okay? Not really. I just really miss you, you know."

"I know, babe." I touch his arm. "But I just can't right now." He just looks at me. This is an inappropriate place for this kind of topic. "Look, we'll talk more later, alright? We shouldn't be doing this at Costco." He smiles a bit.

"Alright." I smile at him as I'm about to push my cart away from his. "Christina." I turn back.

"Hm?"

"Please dont forget that you could call or text me, okay?" I nodd and look at him once more. I place my hand on his cheek and start rubbing his cheek with my thumb. Everytime I see the guy, I start melting inside. Things start coming back to me quicker than I know it. So I have to look away. I have to walk away.

_**I think, God will give you someone,**_

_**Much better than me, trust me**_

_**Your eyes will be O.K. it will be alright.**_

_**You'll be just fine (just fine, just fine)**_

I continue to stroll down the aisles. Quicker than I was though. I needed to get out of Costco. Running into him kind of put me down a bit. One, because this whole Kendall thing. Our fling has been going on for a couple of days. It's bad. But he just makes everything okay. Which then makes it hard to stay away. Two, because I end up missing Logan more than I think I do everytime I see him.

Once I'm out of Costco, I feel relieved. I finally took a few breaths, the breeze making me feel so much better. I look at my cart and see how much I've accumulated. Annnnd now it was time to load all of it into my car. Thennnn take it all the way up to my house. Great. I'll probably just bring what I need for dinner then ask Kendall to bring them up for me. Sounds like a plan.

When I get home, I carry up the things I need to make dinner. I quickly hop in the shower and throw on my pj shorts and a hollister hoodie. I texted Kendall telling him I was home and started making dinner. I placed the rice in the rice cooker to get it going and started mixing the caesar salad in the salad bowl. The only thing I had to legitly make was the mashed potatoes.

As I'm almost done making the mashed potatoes, I hear someone walk in. Then I immediately feel his arms around me.

"Youuuur pain in the ass has arrived!" He says and plants a kiss on my cheek. "What are you making? It smells delicious."

"Mashed potatoes, weirdo." I laugh. "You can start eating. There's salad, chicken and rice ready. This is almost done."

"Yuuuum, thanks cutie. Want me to make you a plate?"

"Yeeees please." I finish up making the mashed potatoes and Kendall's placing the plates at the table. That reminds me. He needs to get my stuff in the car. "Hey, can you do me a favor?"

"Sup?"

"I still have some stuff in the back of my car. Could you bring it up?" I smile at him as I put the mashed potatoes in a separate bowl.

"Suuure, master. Where are your keys?" I chuckle and point to the coffee table. He grabs them then walks over to me with a smirk on his face. "What do I get in return?"

"Dinner, duh." I laugh as he frowns. He's still frowning by the time I'm done laughing. So I put the pan in the sink and tippy toe to kiss him on the lips. He smiles and is on his way out.

After he hauls all that shit from my car up to the house, we eat dinner and watch tv. We talk about so many random things and the night is full of laughter. Annnd a few cupcakey moments. But since this is on the low, he can never stay longer than he plans. Which makes me kind of sad cause that leaves the rest of the night for me. On my own.

You know what happens during those times? I think.

And I think about Logan.

I can say that I'm fucked up for being in this situation. But its so hard to explain why I am. It's kind of like the whole Carlos thing. Why Kendall though, right? I guess he was in the right place at the right time. Just like Carlos.

But at the end of the day, I still go to sleep thinking about Logan. And I wake up thinking about the guy.

I cant.

_**Ring. Ring. Ring.**_

It's Felicia.

"Hello?"

"Hey Sis, what're you up to?" She sighs as she says it. She sounds stressed. I guess that's why she's calling. I almost tell her I just finished hanging out with Kendall but I catch myself.

"Just finishing up dinner. You?"

"Same. Stressin' out."

"Whats wrong?"

"It's just Ma and Pops."

"Again? What's going on?"

"I dont know, they just hate each other. I'm tired of them talking shit about each other to me." She chuckles a bit.

"Well, you're the one who knows the most."

"Just because dad had an affair doesnt mean it has to be like this." _Whaaaaaaaaaaat. _I didn't think it was like that. But with the way my parents were acting, I wasnt surprised that was the reason why.

"What? You do know you just told me the reason why they were separating right?"

"It's not easy, Christina. Dad had an affair with someone at work. That's all."

"That's all? That's one hell of a reason." It kind of makes me mad that I just found out. And that this was the reason why. Why would my dad do that if he was so in love with my mom? _But then again, I guess love makes you do the craziest shit. _I shouldn't be one to talk.

"Yeah, well." There she goes again.

"Well, what else is going on?"

"Me and Rodney are starting to argue so much lately."

"What? Over what."

"I dont know, everything. We immediately get on each other's nerves."

"That's not good. Esp. not around Nico."

"Well yeah, that's why I try and stop the argument before it gets too heated."

"Way past that honeymoon stage, huh?"

"I guess. I'm hoping its a phase. How's Logan?"

"I dont know?"

"What? You guys still aren't talking?"

"I mean we do talk occassionally. We're just taking a break."

"Why?"

"I just can't right now. There's just too much going on."

"Have you heard about the paternity results?"

"No. He said he hasnt heard from that girl yet. So I'm guessing she feels fucking dumb for putting him on the spot."

".. I guess." She seemed unsure. But whatever. I dont wanna think right now.

"I saw him at Costco today."

"How was that?"

"Awkward. Sad. Heartbreaking."

"Christina, I dont know why you put yourself through this when you obviously love that guy more than anything."

"It's hard to explain."

"I dont know. I dont know what else you guys need to prove to yourselves that you guys were made for each other."

"Please don't start."

"Okay, okay. But I'm just saying." I sighed. We continue talking and Felicia tells me she barely sees Amanda anymore. Like she's always busy or something. Which is weird cause that girl would rather be home than out. Unless she's legitly dying of boredom. Now that I think about it, I never see her anymore either. A few texts here and there, but even through her texts I feel how "occupied" she is. I hope she's only up to good things, though. Can't afford anything else happening to her.

That night, I'm laying awake. And I cant help but think of everything that's happened. Logan, Carlos, Kendall, more Logan.

Still Logan.

My sister was right. What AM I doing? My reasoning is right, but at the same time I just really can't stop thinking about him. No matter what the circumstances are. And it's not even like _Fuck, I miss him. And his company._

More like.. _I really fucking do love that guy._

So what now?

I think. And I think. Annnnd I think.

_**Ring...**_

The ringing goes on until voicemail hits my ears. He doesn't answer. I wonder what Logan's up to.

I need to vent.

I just need to talk to him.

_Love doesn't change._

* * *

><p><em><strong>Logan's POV<strong>_

After seeing Christina today, I feel like I just need to move on. She couldn't even reassure me. _Was it that bad? _Whatever happens though, I will always love that girl more than anything.

I feel like the guys have been doing their own thing lately. I havent seen much of them. Its either we're all in and out of the house at different times. Or just locked in our rooms.

I miss the days where all we would do was play video games and bum it out after a long day in the studio. The days where we had parties at the Vega Malibu house. The days spent at Stina's.

I miss her.

But if her world is spinning without me, then I guess I have to learn how to do the same. Although _she WAS my world. _Call me corny, but. It's true. And there's no hiding from it.

It's getting late and I'm in no mood to check my phone or anything. So I leave it behind before I leave.

I'm off to Samantha's house to see how she's doing. It'll be the first time I'm seeing her pregnant. It'll be weird too. But reality needs to sink in a bit faster for me and that'll help.

I get to her apartment and it kind of reminds me of Christina's. Except, it's not. And the girl I'm seeing isn't her. I knock on the door and she opens it. She's in a longsleeve white shirt and pajama pants. She smiles at me and lets me come in.

Her tummy is becoming a bit obvious. _The life growing inside of her was my baby._

"How's everything?" I ask her when we finally get situated. She places a hand on her tummy and looks at me.

"Good."

"You've been okay?"

"Yeah, everything's been fine. Still adjusting to this kind of life though. I'm getting sick randomly." She chuckles a bit. She looks down then back up at me. She's reallly pretty. I wouldn't have hooked up with her if she wasnt, to be honest. But she's actually really pretty. And it's the first time I'm legitly looking at her. She has brown hair and a fair skin tone. She looked as if she was italian and something else.

Christina's a mix of fucking everything. That's a reason why she's so goddamn beautiful.

But let me stop.

"Yeah, same." I replied.

"Thanks for coming by, Logan. I really appreciate it."

"No problem, sweetie." I smile at her. She has green eyes. She kind of reminds me of a Victoria Secret model.

"How are you though?"

"I've been okay."

"Are you.. surprised its your baby?"

"Yeah." I still dont see how. But. There may be something I'm missing. I dont know. "But I'm going to be with you every step of the way." She smiles. And then all of a sudden she frowns.

"Uhm, excuse me." She runs to the bathroom. She's gonna be sick. I feel bad, so I walk over to her. The bathroom door is creaked open a bit and her head is over the toilet. I quietly walk in and start rubbing her back and holding her hair up. I mean, if she was going to be my baby's mom, I might as well start taking care of her too. Once she's done, she gets up to wash herself up in the sink and turns to me. "Wow, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, Samantha. It's normal." I chuckled a bit as I rub her arm. She's still looking at me, but her facial expression softens. I see a tear fall from her eye and she looks down. I dont know why she's crying or what's going on. But she's emotional. I pull her into a hug. And she just hugs me.

I can tell she felt alone before I actually came along.

"I'm so glad you're here. I've felt so alone." And so she says it too. I hug her tighter. I dont know much about her yet, but we have a connection. Cause of this baby. She looks up at me quietly.

"You wont be alone anymore." I kiss her forehead.

It's kind of weird. Because I'm starting to care for someone else. Someone else who is carrying my child. But I start realizing it isn't as bad. She takes my mind off of Christina. And she gives me a reason to believe that she'll be around for the long run.

You know, that reason being a family.

I always pictured my life with Christina.

Now it's kind of turning in another direction. This time with Sam.

I didn't expect to feel this way coming here. But I'm starting to care for her. Quickly.

_Is this what it feels like to be moving on?_

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><p><strong>Reviews are much appreciated!<strong>


	27. Chapter 27

**Merry Christmas Eve/Merry Christmas to all of you wonderful readers! And now I leave you with another chapter to last until after Christmas. I hope you all have a great one. :)**

**Excerpt: Locked Out of Heaven - Bruno Mars.  
>Song: Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart - Alicia Keys.<strong>

**** Can you guys let me know if I should stop this at a certain point so this Logan/Christina adventure becomes a TRILOGY kind of thing or if I should just drop all the drama in this? Lol. Please let me know!**

**Happy Reading!**

* * *

><p>Around the corner from Felicia and Rodney's house is Amanda and Carlos sitting in his car. She's supposed to be at her house after school. Carlos has his hand on the back of her neck and he's slowly massaging it as they look at each other. Bruno Mars' voice is coming from the speakers:<p>

_**'Cause you make me feel like, I've been locked out of heaven**_

_**For too long, for too long**_

_**Yeah, you make me feel like, I've been locked out of heaven**_

_**For too long, for too long**_

"I'm so tired." She says, leaning her head back as Carlos continues to massage her neck.

"Rest at your sister's."

"I will. I got some homework to do though."

"You'll be fine." He smiles at her. She turns to face him and smiles back.

"I don't wanna go."

"I dont want you to either." He pouts. He actually really doesn't want her to leave. He likes their moments, having her there and just all that cupcakey shit. It makes him so happy. Amanda leans in to kiss him. She pulls away and bites her lip. He goes in for another, but deeper kiss. She feels butterflies; he's so good to her and she loves it. It leaves her speechless everytime. After they pull away, it's even harder to leave him behind. He can sense that and he feels the same. But he knows he has to let her go for a bit. "I'll call you later okay?"

"Mkay." She smiles as she closes the door. She wallks down the sidewalk for a bit until she's at the front of Felicia's. She simply walks in, but she's confused. Startled, even. She hears Felicia and Rodney going at it. Pretty loud too. It was enough to scare her, so she wonder how Nico's feeling.

"I ASKED YOU TO DO A SIMPLE THING AND YOU CAN'T EVEN DO IT? YOU CAN'T EVEN PUT FOOD ON OUR FUCKING TABLE?!" Felicia yells. She goes on and on about Rodney being inconsiderate and how he's too damn lazy to take care of his own family.

"FELICIA, I SAID I WOULD GET IT. NOW STOP."

"RODNEY, YOU ARE JUST SO DAMN LAZY SOMETIMES. I ALWAYS GOTTA DO SHIT FOR THIS FAMILY, WHEN YOUR ASS IS WORKING IN THE STUDIO EVERY FUCKING TIME. I GET NO DAMN BREAKS IN THIS HOUSE!" She starts throwing shit around.

"What the hell is going on?" Amanda asks walking into the kitchen/living room area.

"Shut the hell up, Felicia. You keep talking, I said-" Felicia grabs the nearest thing and throws it at him. He dodges it.

"WHOAAA. Felicia calm down. Where is Nico?!"

"Amanda, just stay out of it okay? He's upstairs." Amanda surely does stay out of it. She's hurrying upstairs to see how he's doing. Felicia and Rodney continue to argue, things are now being slammed and thrown around. She doesn't like this.. It kind of reminds of Mama and Papa. She definitely didn't need to hear her sister and brother-in-law going at it too. Esp. around Nico.

When she gets upstairs, she hears Nico crying. She runs into the room and sees him peeking over his crib, crying like hell. She pulls him out and starts holding him. Rocking him to calm him.

"FUCK THIS BULLSHIT. IM OUT. WE'RE DONE." Rodney yells. _They're really callin' their marriage off.. What about Nico? _Amanda closes her eyes and continues to rock Nico. Sooner or later, he calms down and Rodney's out the door.

"Mooommmmmy." Nico starts pleading. It's quiet now, so Amanda thinks its okay to head downstairs. She walks into the living room, seeing Felicia against the counter, crying. It breaks Amanda's heart to see her sister like this. She couldn't stand Christina being this way, now Felicia was? "Mommmmmy!" Nico starts pleading some more. Amanda's struggling to hold him still cause he's wiggling to get out of her arms and into his mom's arms.

"Hey baby.." Felicia says as she takes him and starts rocking him. But she's still crying. Amanda stands next to her and lays her head on her shoulder, placing her hand on Felicia's arm.

"It's gonna be okay." Amanda whispers. Felicia doesn't say anything. But she places her head ontop of Amanda's. Just like Mama and Papa, Amanda knew Felicia and Rodney have been arguing. She didn't think it was this bad though. To the point where they were even talking about divorcing.

"I can't do this anymore.."

* * *

><p>As Christina is about to make a visit to a patient, Dr. Davis is hurriedly walking towards her. It kind of worries her a bit, so she slows down, confused.<p>

"Hey Christina, can you do me a favor?"

"Whaaatsup?"

"Can you head down to the OB/GYN floor and check on some patients before your shift is done? Dr. Wen isn't here, so they're short a doctor. They're a bit under-staffed."

"Uhm, yeah sure?" She doesn't know how she feels about working with pregnant women. She deals with kids, alright. But, it kind of makes her nervous to step into a whole other world. Dr. Davis senses how nervous or even uncomfortable she is.

"Don't worry, Christina. You'll do the same thing you do with these kids. Check vital signs, check how they're doing. You know the deal. I trust you." She smiles a bit

"Thanks. I'll head down then."

"Alright, see you there." Christina heads to the elevator and takes it to the OB/GYN floor. Her hands are in the pockets of her scrubs and she's patiently waiting to arrive at the floor. The doors open and the first thing she notices about this floor: it's a lot more plain and calmer. She follows the signs towards the OB/GYN - Family Practice office and walks into the room. There's about three other people waiting in the seating area. The receptionist seems busy. Not in the mood, almost.

"Can I help you?"

"Yeah, Dr. Davis sent me to help out?" The receptionist nodds and points to the door for Christina to walk in. When she's inside, she's immediately greeted by another nurse holding a patient's file.

"Can you check on this patient? She's been waiting for awhile." She hands Christina the file and leaves. Christina's a bit dumbfounded, but she opens the file and examines the patient's papers. _Samantha Raines. _She's literally the same age as Christina. From her past check-ups, she seems fine. No smoking. No alcohol consumption. No allergies. Nothing. She's in her first tri-mester. Barely even a month preggo.

Christina knocks on the door and peeks her head in, seeing this brown haired, green-eyed female. She's pretty. "Out of a Victoria Secret Catalog" type of pretty. She's small though. Skinny, somewhat tall. That kind of worries Christina.

"Hi, I'm Christina." Christina smiles, making Samantha smile. She doesn't feel uncomfortable anymore. "Sorry for the wait."

"Don't worry about it." Ms. Victoria Secret chuckles a bit. Christina has her stand up to check her weight and her height. Then, has her sit back down on the bed.

"So, Miss Raines, have you been feeling sick lately? Morning sickness?"

"Oh, yup. Definitely." She chuckles.

"That's good. That's a sign that the baby is growing and healthy, believe it or not."

"Oh, that's good to know."

"You've been eating okay?"

"Definitely. These cravings are no joke." They chuckle a bit.

"Any allergies, problems, medications.. I should know about?"

"Nope, none."

"Wellll, it seems like you're doing just fine Miss Raines." Christina smiles at her and stands up. She starts taking her blood pressure and checking her eyes, ears, hands, etc. Then, Christina has her lay down so she could check on her tummy.

"It's weird."

"Hm?" Christina says while she's gently checking her tummy.

"How I have a baby growing inside of me. It still hasn't sunk in yet."

"Girl, it'll be awhile until it does. Don't worry. It's normal." Christina says smiling.

"I'm just so excited. And happy."

"That's good." Christina smiles. "Is Dad excited too?" She asks as she's applying a bit of pressure around her tummy. She knows exactly where the fetus is and she feels it. It feels so.. alive. That's the best she could explain it.

"I'd like to hope so." Samantha chuckles a bit. Then smiles. "Logan seems a bit scared. But I know he's happy. Excited for this baby. He's starting to become so involved when he can." _Wait, hold up. Rewind.. Did she say Logan?_

"Logan?" Christina asks, confused. Somehow she knows it's _her _Logan. It's _the _girl.

_**Even if you were a million miles away**_

_**I could still feel you in my bed**_

_**Near me, touch me, feel me**_

_**And even at the bottom of the sea**_

_**I could still hear inside my head**_

_**Tellin' me, touch me, feel me**_

"Mhm. Logan Mitchell? From Big Time Rush." _How does Samantha NOT know it's Christina? Is she that oblivious? Does Christina not look that familiar? _"Our story's a bit weird. But, I'm glad everything worked out. I'm glad he's here with me every step of the way." Christina feels her heart breaking into pieces. She's so close to crying. He really has moved on already.

_**And all the time you were tellin' me lies**_

But it pisses her off how he didn't even tell her that he was the father. Guess that's the determining factor of whether or not they're still together..

"Oh." Christina says blankly. Sam notices her mood switch.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, you're all good. You're fine. Uhm, the doctor will be with you in just a second, okay? Sit tight."

"O-oh, okay. Thanks." Sam's a bit confused. But she sits up and fixes her gown. Christina is now out of the room and she can breathe. She places the file in the bin on the door and asks for what else needs to be done.

Even though, she's hurt and pissed the fuck off. She'll keep cool until she's off in a couple of minutes. Okay, so she's guilty. It's probably karma for the whole Kendall thing. But really? He couldn't even at least tell her he was the father? Dude was so confident it wasn't his baby. And for some reason, Christina still doesn't believe it's his. Something seems iffy about the bitch. She might be bitter, but she really thinks something's up with that girl. She's so mad. Samantha could act innocent and pretty all she wants, but Christina really despises her. And let's be honest, she'll never compare to Christina. She hopes Logan realizes that. She's so mad right now, she really cannot wait to confront him after work.

_**So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you**_

_**Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you**_

_**I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had tonight**_

_**I'm gonna find a way to make it without you**_

So, two can play that game huh? It's all too much. She really fucking hates it. And cannot stand it. She hopes those two live a good life together. But at the same time, she hopes her face is stuck in his head for fucking life.

Damn. This kind of just makes her realizes how much she's not ready to let their relationship go. Let him go. She loves him so damn much, she just can't. But now it's too late and she blames herself.

She doesn't even wanna think about Kendall. She needs to call their thing quits. She can't do this anymore. At least right now. Her heart is hurting and she doesn't think anyone besides Logan can cure that.

She wants to be left alone.

_**Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart?**_

_**Well, you could try sleeping in my bed**_

_**Lonely, own me nobody ever shut it down like you**_

_**You wore the crown**_

_**You made my body feel heaven bound**_

_**Why don't you hold me**_

_**Need me, I thought you told me**_

_**You'd never leave me**_

After work, she storms to her car, tears ready to burst. Once she's settled, she starts bawling her eyes out. She really can't believe this. How Logan's already in another relationship. And how he's really going to have a family with that chick. _He doesn't even know her, how is that gonna work? _She's mad, so she's gonna stop herself. Anyone could hold a relationship down with effort. And by the way she was talking about him, Logan seems pretty content in this kind of life.

She fucking hates it.

She wanted to be the one to have his kids. Be his wife. Be the one he comes home to and vice versa. Not her. Yes, she's beyond jealous. And pissed off. _He really tried keeping this from her. _

She drives to the studio in a rush because any minute now, she will erupt. She needs to give him a peace of her mind. Once she arrives at Rocque Records, she heads upstairs where she sees the guys standing outside of recording booth. All attention lands on her, and they're all confused. But Logan knows she's here for him. He sees the frustration, pain, anger and sadness in her face.

"Logan, you're a fucking liar!" She yells at him, her tears rapidly coming down. "I fucking hate you! I can't believe you would keep this from me!" She pushes him. He's so hurt right now, he doesn't know how to respond. But he knows exactly what she's yelling about.

"Woah, woah, woah." Rodney holds her back. "Christina, calm down."

"No! He's a fucking liar! Why didn't you tell me you were the father of that damn baby! And that you were even planning to get in a relationship with this girl?! Did you REALLY think you could just leave me hanging?" Kendall feels awkward because he was there the whole time. But he understands what she's trying to do. Prove her point, I guess.

"Hold the fuck up, Christina! You were the one acting like you wanted nothing to do with me!"

"I can't look at you right now. I'm so fucking upset that you would even think about doing this shit."

"Why cant you just talk to me about it instead of cussing me out?! Let me fucking explain, dont come in here acting like your ass was pure angelic the whole time!"

"I really dont wanna hear your bullshit. Fuck you, dude. I'm so fucking done. You are DEAD to me." She says firmly as she cries and pulls free from Rodney's grip to walk out of the studio. James and Carlos are speechless. They really didn't know it would break down like this. This quick too. No one has any words for what just happened. Kendall runs after Christina, leaving the three behind.

"Yo-" Rodney starts, but Logan cuts him off.

"Not right now." Logan says. He walks away to have time to himself. He can't believe that the girl, that he still truly fucking loves.. is gone out of his life for good. How do you go from dealing with someone almost everyday of your life to not even speaking to them anymore? He just can't do it. He hates her for the hurtful words she said. He hates her for bringing this unnecessary drama. Cause they could have gotten through it together. He would still be with her right now. There is no one else he'd rather be with. But she doesn't understand that.

_**Looking in the sky I could see your face**_

_**And I know right where I fit in**_

_**Take me, make me, you know that I'll always be in love**_

_**With you**_

_**Right til the end, Oh**_

Kendall is running after Christina and he finally catches up to her in the underground parking lot. He places his hands on her arms and tries to pull her into a hug. But she refuses.

"Kendall, stop." He's confused. But he still tries to hug her once more. "Kendall. Please. Stop." She turns to him. She's still crying. And he really wants to make her feel better.

"What? I'm trying to be here for you, why wont you let me?" _Why do they all sound alike? _She can''t handle this.

"I just want to be alone, okay."

"Christina.." Kendall says softly. He really wants to kiss her. Hold her face and just kiss her deeply. But she starts crying harder, her hand slightly over her forehead.

"I cant do this anymore." She says almost at a whisper. Kendall can't believe his ears.

"What? Christina, are you serious?"

"I cant do this.." She repeats and starts crying harder. He looks up in disbelief and sighs. He was really starting to like the girl too. Kind of dumb, he knows. What if her and Logan had worked things out, what would he have done then? It's kind of like the same situation now. Lose/Lose. What does he do now? But the only difference is that they HAVE the chance to make it work and that makes him mad.

_**So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you**_

_**Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you**_

_**I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had tonight**_

_**I'm gonna find a way to make it without you**_

"Are you serious? Name one good reason why you can't keep doing this. Cause I can't. Christina, he's my bestfriend and even through all this, I respect your feelings and the relationship and everything that's been going on." He rambles. "But all I've been trying to do was make this better for you. Dont you get it? He's _**doing you a favor **_and letting you be happy. Why won't you take that?"

"Please, just. Stop. I dont need this from you right now. I need to be alone. I just can't handle any of this right now. Anymore, actually. I need to focus on myself. And you can't expect me to just jump into a relationship with you after this. He was my boyfriend and my bestfriend. My feelings are just not gonna slip away that easily. Regardless if their good or bad feelings."

"So you're saying the shit we went through was nothing?"

"I didn't say that, Kendall. It's just.." He looks at her and waits for an answer. "I cant find myself being with you right now..."

"You mean ever." He has frustration plastered on his face. "Because of Logan, am I right?" She cries even harder, and she tries to speak. But before she could he throws his hands up in defeat and turns around to leave.

_**Anybody could've told you right from the start**_

_**It's bout to fall apart**_

_**So rather than hold onto a broken dream**_

_**I'll just hold on to love**_

_**And I could find a way to make it**_

_**Don't hold on too tight**_

_**I'll make it without you tonight**_

"Kendall.." But he doesn't turn around. She starts crying even harder. She feels like she lost everything. Her and Logan are done, for good. After earlier, she doubts they'll ever return to same. Or even talk. No contact whatsoever. And now, she loses Kendall. The one thing that kept her from falling into a black hole. But he just needs to understand. No matter how much he likes her, or how much she likes him - they weren't meant to be together. One, they found each other through the troubles of one relationship. Two, if she was meant to be with him right now, she'd be chasing after him.

_She isn't. _

The only person she feels like chasing is Logan. She really wants to go in there and apologize. Tell him to drop everything. She just wants him. And she'll be there for him.

But at the same time, the anger takes over the good. And she refuses to anything having to do with Logan. For now, at least.

She just feels so lost. Chaotic. Paralyzed, almost.

She feels like she has lost everything at this point. Her mother and father were divorcing. Her sister and brother-in-law were falling in the same path. Her and Logan are through. Her and Kendall are through.

_Why.._

That night, she's alone. Mochi's cuddled near her. Christina begins to remember the everything having to do with Logan. When they first started falling in love while she was with Shad. To their cupcakey days. Everything. And the only thing she gets from it is: _**He was always so good to her. **_And she took that for granted. She misses him so much, she holds onto her pillow as she cries. She's sleeping in one of his hoodies tonight. And the smell hasn't faded. She misses that. She misses him holding onto her and never letting go. The random kisses.

She misses Logan.

Christina's upset. Furious. Angry. Envious. Depressed. Heartbroken. All of the above.

_**So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you**_

_**Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you**_

_**I'm gonna hold onto the times we had tonight**_

_**I'm gonna find a way to make it without you**_

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><p><strong>Reviews are much appreciated! Also, dont forget to let me know what I should do about this story!<strong>


	28. Chapter 28

**Hope you all had a splendid Christmas. :) Yesss, I have decided I will make this into some sort of Trilogy! And in between the time I end this and start the next part of Logan and Christina's journey, I will be updating It Girl / (maybe) Complicated as much as I can. It'll give me time to outline a few things to get a solid foundation for the next part of their journey. Yipeeeee. Thank you so much for the reviews!**

**Excerpt: Meet Me Halfway - Black Eyed Peas.**

**Happy Reading!**

**Disclaimer: I dont own BTR or any songs!**

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><p>"She's gone." Mama says as she pulls two waterbottles out of the fridge for Christina and Felicia.<p>

"What do you mean Amanda's gone?" Felicia asked.

"Like you know? Out and about."

"You know who she's with?" Christina asked as she twisted the cap loose on her waterbottle.

"She said Kalyn. You know she's been out a lot lately. But she's always coming home so happy. So I guess she's enjoying whatever's out there."

"Ohh, thats weird. But good, I guess.." Felicia chuckled a bit.

"You guys should try. You know? Enjoying what's out there instead of sulking in your misery at home."

"Ma, not now." Christina looks at her seriously. She really doesnt need any lecturing. She's had enough. The only thing that Mama knows is that Felicia and Rodney are arguing and Christina and Logan want nothing to do with each other. The sisters explained as much as they could. And now they just don't wanna bring it up at all.

"Okay, okay. I'm just saying." Mama can tell Christina just hasn't been having any good days lately, so she won't pester her about what's been going on between her and Logan. "What about you Felicia, what's been going on?"

"Wellll, Me and Rodney have decided that we are going to get divorced." Christina's eyes widen and her jaw drops a bit.

"What? That's it? You're just gonna divorce. Just like that?" Felicia puts her hand up a bit to keep Christina from going on.

"Look, it's hard to explain alright. I love him, I really do. I'm just so tired of the constant arguing. It isn't a happy place anymore and I can't keep myself in that situation. No matter how hard we try, we just can't get along anymore." Mama nodds. She understands exactly what Felicia's going through. Christina doesn't. So she decides she'll stop talking because she hasn't reached that point in her life. She can't really say she understands what's happening.

"I understand. Just make sure it's what you BOTH think is best. That it's mutual. If you guys really think living your own lives will be better for Nico. Not saying it will be the best all the time, but would you rather separate and keep the peace? Or live in a dysfunctional household for Nico to grow up in? Now you have to start thinking about your child more than yourself. Or your relationship with Rodney." Felicia nodds.

"Yeah, I know. It was mutual. It'll be okay." Christina smiles a bit at how strong her sister is keeping up. She wishes she could be the same way.

"Well. This is awkward." Mama chuckles. The two sisters are confused, so they just look at her.

"What?" Christina asks.

"You know your Auntie May's birthday is tomorrow." The girls nodded. "Well, I told her she could have a little celebration here to celebrate her 40th. So some of the family is gonna be here tomorrow hanging out."

"Okay, meaning...?"

"Meaning I invited Rodney and the four boys to come." _Ohhh great, _Christina thinks. _Just great. Splendid. Dandy. _For Felicia, it's not even a big deal. Her and Rodney have talked things out and have tried keeping things civil. They still are married. And they still live under the same roof. So she's aware of their situation and everything. Christina.. She's not even sure how it'll go, but she'll deal. She'll do her thing and focus on herself. And family. But she is worried to see those two faces.

Well, see. This is how it goes.

Christina really fucking despises Logan and can't get over everything that just happened. Logan, on the other hand, despises her to SOME extent. Just cause of the hurtful things she said and all the unncessary drama that lead to how they are now. He wants to talk to her, but knowing that she wants nothing to do with him and remembering all the shit that happened makes him angry. So that makes him want to leave her alone. Christina would rather talk to Kendall and at least try to be friends again, but Kendall isn't over the fact that she really called them quits. He can't get over it. He still really likes her and is still really upset. And I mean, REALLY upset. To the point where he can't even look at her. Or else he'll feel his blood boil again.

Complicated, much? Since no one knew about their relationship, how awks would it be to see Kendall avoiding Christina? _Very._

"Oh. Sounds like a day full of fun festivities." Christina says with a sarcastic smile.

"See, that's what I'm worried about. Will you be okay?" Mama asks.

"Yes, Ma. I'll be fine. I'll live. Dont worry." Mama stares at her for a bit before nodding in acceptance of her answer.

Meanwhile, it's been quiet at the BTR estate. Carlos is always out with Amanda, but since no one knows about their relationship, he's just declared MIA all the time. No one really bothers to ask why. He gets home in a good mood all the time. So they just let it be. Logan's either always locked in his room or visiting Samantha to see how her and the baby are doing. Kendall keeps busy. He either writes. Sings. Does covers. Or plays video games. Just to keep his mind off of Christina. Cause if he remembers, he'll raise his blood pressure. It's a cycle. Right now, him and James are playing rounds of Demolition on Black Ops II.

"James, cover me." Kendall says as he directs his player towards the objective. As soon as he's about to score more points, he's shot. "Uhm, wow. Great job covering me."

"Shutup, I tried."

"Sooo can you try harder orrr..." Kendall says sarcastically.

"I am. Can you cover me now?" Kendall tries to follow James on the screen, but he loses him as he shoots at another player. Causing James to die. "Oh look at that."

"Okay so we're even!" Kendall shrieks. They continue to play until the screen announces that their team has lost.

"I quit. Zombies?"

"Sure." While James is switching game modes, Kendall feels his phone vibrate. It's Christina. His heart drops. But he's kind of upset she's hitting him up.

_**Hey, are you coming to my Aunt's party tmo?**_

He really doesn't wanna talk to her. But he's not one to just ignore texts like that. Esp. simple ones. He rolls his eyes and texts back with a simple "_**Mhm**_" but in his head he's really like: _Yeah, so? Im honestly not looking forward to seeing you or anything. I'm going for your family. & I'm fine acting like complete strangers because I want to show you how good I'm doing without you.. _But who is he kidding? Thats his anger talking. Deep down inside he's actually really coming just to see the girl. And he's not even happy they're in this predicament. He's not happy she's not his and it bugs him. So. damn. much.

Kendall picks up his controller and sighs. James senses that he's upset.

"You alright, bro?"

"Yeeeeeeeeup." He says it exactly in that way. So James knows he's really upset and bothered by something. He's not gonna ask what is though. Kendall isn''t one to open up much. He doesnt feel like putting in that effort to be Dr. Phil right now. _Whatever it is, Kendall will be fine._

* * *

><p><em><strong>Christina's POV<strong>_

It's a nice day outside. I throw on a black floral patterned dress and white wedges. It has a sweetheart line and a brown belt around the waist. The skirt part of the dress is somewhat tutu-ish. But I love this dress, and I haven't been able to really wear it out like this. I'm looking at myself in the mirror and I fix my slightly wavy hair.

I look pretty damn cute. & I smile at myself.

After all this drama, it'd be nice to see either Logan or Kendall buckle at the knees. Such a bitch move, but hey. I think I deserve that much of their attention.

I head downstairs to where my mom, Amanda, Felicia and my Auntie are setting up. My mom and aunt are currently setting up outside while Felicia and Amanda are hanging decorations outside. I join my sisters outside, wondering where Nico was.

"Where's Nico?" I ask as I take some of the decorations sitting on the table.

"Asleep in Mama's room." I nodd and help put up the decorations I was holding in my hand. As we get through setting up the rest of the backyard, we start hearing people walk in. We go inside to see what seems like a stampede of my family members coming into the house. They're starting to gather some food before heading outside to hang out and enjoy the nice day.

"Hey, I think Nico's awake." Mama says as she's rushing past us to greet some of the family.

"Shit." Felicia mumbles. "I'll be back." She runs upstairs to grab her son. Me and Amanda have our backs against the counters as we're watching family get food and greet them as they come.

"My beautiful babies." My Uncle Miguel says as he comes towards us for hugs and kisses. "Are you guys gonna eat?"

"We already did!" Amanda says and he nodds.

"Hey Christina, is Logan coming?! That's my beer buddy right there!" He laughs and I put on a fake smile and chuckle a bit.

"Uhm, yeah. He should be here soon." I hold onto my arm. Kind of uncomfortable.

"Good! I'm looking forward to seeing him!" He raises his plate up and walks outside. I sigh and frown at Amanda.

"Oh come on, cheer up."

"I'm fine."

"Everything will be okay."

"Yeah, I hope so." As soon as she says that, I hear Mama happily greeting the guys. I watch them walk in, Rodney first, James last. My heart drops. Kendall's holding some things in a box to grill some burgers and hotdogs outside. He doesn't look at me and goes straight outside. Logan looks at me and gives me somewhat of a smile before heading out.

I really thought I would be okay. But right now, I kind of just want to lock myself in the room. Cry. Be away from where they're at.

I feel Amanda squeeze my arm and she looks at me.

"Hey. What did I tell you? Everything's gonna be alright, okay? Now come on." She says softly as she holds my hand to walk guys are situated in chairs, while Kendall's firing up the grill to get started. The attention goes on us.

"Suuup guys!" Carlos yells. At least he's still the same old, welcoming Carlos. Him and James wave while the others are being totally awkward.

"Tiiiime to start playing music." Amanda sits next to Carlos and starts hooking up her iPod to the speakers. I feel so fucking awkward right now, I don't even know what to do. I stand by Amanda and Carlos, who are joking around and being a bit flirt. _Weird as fuck, lol. _But whatever. Felicia comes down the stairs with a wide awake Nico.

"Look who's up." Felicia says. As soon as I see Nico, I feel so much better. He starts reaching out for me and talking all that baby talk.

"Nicooooooo!" I call for him. He smiles at me and starts slowly stumbling over to me. As soon as he gets close enough, I scoop him up and throw him slightly into the air. When he comes back down into my arms, I hold onto him tightly and swing him around. He starts laughing loudly. When I stop, I press his forehead against my lips. From the corner of my eye, I see Logan staring at us. _I'm sure I'd make a better mother of his child than Samantha. _Let's be honest. Girl looks like she barely has a clue about what's going on in her body. _*Insert 'Yes I'm a bitch and I know it' smiley here* _

Nico will always be the one and only love of mine. I love this boy with all my heart.

By the way Logan is looking at us, I could tell he's trying to picture a future with me and a child. Somehow, I know that's what he wants. And he's telling himself that right now.

_It's okay Logan, I feel the same exact way._

But I refuse to talk to him. I start thinking about him and Samantha.

You know you still care about it, if you keep talking about it.

"Hey Felicia, look." I say to get my mind off of Logan before it gets too deep. "Nico, kiss?" I pucker up my lips and he attempts to pucker his lips. But he edges his face towards mine and I feel his tiny lips on mine. Even though it felt more like a gently headbutt. But Felicia smiles.

"Aw, my babyyyy." She takes him from me again. Then she hands him to Rodney. Now I feel weird again. Nothing to distract me. I head over to the dessert table, not even noticing Logan already over there. Well shit, too late to walk back. I'd look dumb. I sigh and keep my eyes down to avoid contact. I grab a plate and try to reach for the spoon in the fruit bowl..

_The same time he does._

I still keep my eyes down, but we both move our hands. _With a quickness. _

"Uh, well. That's awkward." He says lowly. He's irritating me. I look up at him, irritation written on my face.

"You could say it to my face, you know." He looks at me and chuckles a bit.

"Oookay, Christina. Sorry." He says sarcastically.

"Whatever."

"Look, I didn't come here to argue with you. You don't have to be such a bitch." He's making me so mad I could dump something on his head any minute now. But I continue to fill my plate with fruits. "I actually thought we could've worked things out today and I was pretty damn excited to." He says as I'm about to walk away. I pause before I look at him. His eyes are pleading. But I just cant.

_Does he really expect us to fix everything so quickly esp. with all this shit he has going on with Samantha?_

To be honest, I dont ever think we'll be the same as long as Samantha and her baby are in the picture.

_HER baby. _Not his. Not theirs. HER baby.

I show him a bit of sympathy with a small, toothless smile. But I walk away. I can hear him sigh behind me. He wasnt expecting that.

I bite into my fruit and hover around Felicia and Amanda. But that girl has been all up and around Carlos since we got here. So I'm just gonna let them be. I look at Kendall finishing up on the grill. He hasn't looked at me once. I guess he can feel me staring at him, cause he finally looks at me.

I want to say sorry. And I want to talk to him. You can tell how sorry I am by the look on my face.

But he kind of just glares. Like he's telling me it's all my fault we're like this through his facial expression. And that he wont fix it.

Then he returns his attention back to the grill.

Fuck. What if I really did mess up though? That's the thing about life.

If one door closes, another one opens. You dont know if you should just wait for the other door to open again because you're so used to the way things were or if you should go through the other door to explore what else life can give you.

Kind of makes me so sad.. how he can't even look at me without getting upset.

_I really broke his heart._

And I know how that feels. It's not nice.

Was I wrong for not giving him a chance?

Too late now. He wont even talk to me.

I can't picture hurting Kendall. _Anyone can hold a relationship down. _And trust me, this boy is the closest thing to perfect. Which is kind of the problem, cause first of all.. how can I handle someone like that? Second, yes I've held a relationship down.. but I'm not so sure I'm the girl for Kendall. He's a great guy, but I'm not positive that I can be the one _he _wants. I'm not admitting I can't do it, I just don't wanna put him through it.

Our imperfections made me and Logan perfect. He wasn't afraid to hurt me and I wasnt either.

Everyone needs a 'lil spice in their life.

"You okay? You've been spacing out for awhile." Felicia says almost at a whisper. I nodd.

"Yeah, I'm alright." She gives me a reassuring squeeze on my arm. All of a sudden, Im startled by Amanda's ass being backed up against me. "You have about 5 seconds to take that ass somewhere else, Amanda." She is too much sometimes. I keep my hand on her back to try and push her away but she is feelin' herself a bit too much.

"COME ON, SIS." I look at Felicia and she backs up, shaking her head.

"Ew, stop!" I push her off. She's still dancing but now she lands on Carlos' lap. Me and Felicia's eyes widen as she's literally giving him a lapdance. _Is this bitch out of her mind?! _But James is cheering them on, while Logan and Kendall are laughing. _Alright, I guess its for the fun of it._

He's clearly enjoying himself. Which makes me and Felicia laugh.

This is so fucking weird. I can't even deal.

I wish I could be so carefree like Amanda. She's having the time of her life right now, and she's been through the most compared to me and Felicia. And look at her, dancing the afternoon away.

We're over here being depressed little shits. I hate myself for being caught in this mess. I can't even find a way out of it.

I guess I just need to put my foot down when enough is enough.

The party comes to an end quicker than I thought. We all help Mama clean the place up but not a word is said. I dont know about everyone else, but I'm tired and so over being around this awkward tension. Im dying to get off my feet, get in bed, cuddle with Mochi and watch some tv until I sleep.

No one to keep me company tonight. Sighhhh.

After everything's all cleaned up, we all go our separate ways. I didnt really expect a goodbye from Logan or Kendall. Whatevs. I get in the car and turn up the radio.

_**I can't go any further than this**_

_**I want you so badly, it's my biggest wish**_

_**I spent my time just thinkin thinkin thinkin bout you**_

_**Every single day yes, I'm really missin' missin' you**_

_**And all those things we use to use to use to do**_

_**Hey girl, what's up, it use to be just me and you**_

_**I spent my time just thinkin thinkin thinkin bout you**_

_**Every single day, yes I'm really missin missin you**_

_**And all those things we use to use to use to do**_

_**Hey girl what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up**_

_**Meet me halfway, right at the boarderline**_

_**That's where I'm gonna wait, for you**_

_**I'll be lookin out, night n'day**_

_**Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay**_

_**I can't go any further than this**_

_**I want you so bad it's my only wish...**_

The song is singing through my speakers. Are you fucking kidding me? You know what's weird? Both guys come into mind.

Let me just shut the radio off and drive in peace.

I've never been so excited to get in bed. Sad life.

I get home, put my hair in a bun and get in my jays. I put the food Mama gave me in the fridge and call Mochi over to lay with me in bed. My baby comes running right over and jumps onto my lap.

I really want to talk to someone.

Logan wants to work things out but like I said. As long as she's in the picture, it really won't be the same.

Kendall doesn't want to work things out. But I do.

There's no harm in that. Here goes nothing.

_**Hey.**_

Uhm, _fuck?! _Now I totally hate myself for giving in and texting the dude. He's probably thinking about how pathetic I am - to reject him then run back to him. Wah. I'm scared. I throw my phone to the side right when it rings. It startles me. But I dont even wanna look.

_Fuck it, pick up the phone Christina. YOU sent the text._

_**Sup**_

God, he's so blunt. I hate it. Jeez, forget you too Kendall Knight.

_**Nothing, just cuddling with Mochi. You?**_

_**Oh, cool. Nothing much. - K**_

_**Ohhhhkay. This is awkward.**_

_**Welll, for one thing. Why are you texting me Christina? - K**_

_**To be honest? Because I wanted to talk to you.**_

_**We've done enough talking. - K**_

_**Righhht, I dont need any more of your hostility, Kendall.**_

_**Stop. Don't text me and expect me to be all cute and shit with you. We're done, remember? You said you didn't want us. Annnd I'm over it. - K**_

_**So why cant you just talk to me?**_

_**Talking to you would only result in me falling for you all over again. - K**_

_**Jeez, Kendall. Can you at least try to be civil?**_

_**What else do you want from me, hm? You tell me to leave you alone. I did. You tell me you can't do this. So I try moving on. Now you want me to be civil? What about this situation makes you think its POSSIBLE to be civil? - K.**_

_**Kendall, please stop talking like that..**_

I'm actually on the verge of tears. He's being so mean.

_I'm sorry for everything, can we go back to the way we were way before all this happened? _

Is what I want to say. But I delete it.

_**Look. I still really like you, Christina. And for all those things to be possible, I NEED to get over you. To be honest, I don't think things will be the same. I was ready to love you better. I was ready to make sure you felt the things you wanted to feel. Be treated the way you deserved to be treated. But I get it, he's just the one for you. And sometimes I still don't understand how or why. Because I know you're at that point where you know there's never a right time to say goodbye, but you HAVE to go your separate ways. You just won't listen to yourself. Or your head. And I wanted to make you happy. Guess what? YOU'RE the one stopping yourself. Realize that. I dont need more bullshit from you, cause I tried. And I've decided that I should accept it and move on. There's no use in waiting for someone who doesn't even realize my own worth. So don't blame me for the way I've been acting towards you. It's all for the better, right? That way, you can try and work things out with someone who's about to have a family with someone else. Sounds very fucking ideal, Christina. But if that's what you want, so be it. I'm out. - K.**_

Sarcastic little shit. Now I'm crying. I caaan't read this text. Not because he's being mean. But because it's all true. He just doesn't understand how it is. And it frustrates me.

I'm not even gonna bother to answer. _So. Over. This. Shit._

You ever wonder in these situations,

_Where can love take us now?_

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><p><strong>Reviews are much appreciated!<strong>


	29. Chapter 29

**I think next chapter is gonna be the last chapter for So Beautiful! So enjoy it while you can! I'll be back soon with the next part though, hahaha. Thanks for reviewing! Continue to show the story some love though!**

**Sorry if this chapter is kind of boring. I needed a filler chapter before everything else happens. **

**Happy Reading.**

**Disclaimer: I dont own BTR.**

* * *

><p>Today just isn't the day. Christina's in bed, allergies acting up so bad she just doesn't wanna put any work on her body. She's just not feelin' it. <em>Sorry, Dr. Davis! <em>Also, today's the day Felicia and Rodney are gonna get started on finalizing their divorce. He's staying in the extra room the guys have at their house and Felicia's planning to move back in with Mama until she can find an apartment for her and Nico.

_Divorce sure does suck._

Like, Christina can only think.. They had a home with each other. A house. A family. Now they had to split that? Damn. Even though a divorce sounds so.. final and official, Christina's still hoping they'll work shit out in the future. It would suck to see Nico grow up with a different guy/girl around. That's never easy.

On the other hand, Papa surprised Amanda with her very first car. Not a brand new one, but a used white honda accord 2010. Amanda's so happy she could finally drive herself around and get around without having to rely on other people as rides. Christina just hopes her ass isn't too crazy on the road. But it's also bad cause that means she might be seeing less and less of her sister, since she's already MIA so much lately. Whatever, the girl is growing up and going to college soon. She'll be moving into the dorms and forgetting all about her family with all that college fun.

Christina's sniffling, her nose is running nonstop. Sometimes allergies can do so much damage, it's annoying. She has a pile of tissue on her night stand. Her head is starting to hurt because she's so congested. _Why me, _she thinks.

She knows she shouldn't depend on a guy for happiness. And she's slowly coming to terms with that. She's been getting used to her independence and being on her own. But in cases like this, having a boo would be ideal. _Lets be honest. _She misses those times Logan would get her soup and make sure she was well-rested. And he never gave a fuck if he get sick or not, he just wanted his girl well. The attention given during these times is just too cute.

Meh, whatever. She'll live. She's fine snuggling in bed with Mochi right by her.

_**Knock. Knock. Knock.**_

Fucking shit. Now she has to get up from her bed to open the door. She looks through the peephole and sees Amanda standing here. Looking so official with her car keys hanging from her lanyard.

"Hii." Christina says as she opens the door.

"Hi Sister." Amanda looks at her weirdly. "Ouu, what's gotten over you? You feeling okay?"

"Just this allergies. Seriously fuckin' me up."

"Ohhh so that's why you said you stayed home. I wanted to drop by." Amanda says as she sits by Christina on the bed, who is now wrapped up in the blankets again.

"So official with your car huh?"

"Fucking love it. I can go anywhere whenever I want, without having to depend on people for rides."

"It's a good feeling." Christina agrees. She remembers when she got her first car in high school. It was a reward for the good ass grades she got. It felt so damn good to finally be on her own time, since she had her car.

"Mhm. Do you need anything?"

"Mm, I'm good for now."

"Okay just let me know." Amanda says. They watch tv for a bit before Christina breaks the silence.

"What were you up to, today?"

"Nothing really. I was gonna go to the guys' house."

"Oh, forrrr?"

"Hang out with Carlos."

"Whatsup with you two? You guys have been around each other a lot."

"Well about that.." Christina turns to her sister, confused. "We've been together." Christina's eyes widen at the statement. _We've. Been. Together._

"What? Since when?!"

"It's been awhile. You didn't catch on at the party?!"

"I kind of did, but I didnt think it was serious.."

"Well yeah." Amanda smiles at the thought of Carlos. "It is. He's been great." Christina really cannot fucking believe her ears right now. Not saying its bad that they're together. It's just.. _weird. And unexpected. _

"I dont know what to say.." Amanda's a bit frustrated.

"So you can't even tell me you're happy for me?"

"No, no. I am. It's just.. are you sure about this? Can you handle being in a relationship with Carlos?"

"What's so wrong about Carlos!"

"There isn't anything wrong with him, Amanda! But he isn't just an ordinary guy you're dating. His face will be everywhere. And you have to worry about when he goes on tour and all that stuff-"

"He would never do anything to hurt me like that, Christina." Christina can feel Amanda getting super defensive. Dont get her wrong, she's happy her little sister's happy. _But is this the guy for her?_

"Woah, I never said he would. But you shouldn't even be getting too comfortable about it. I'm just saying, are you sure you could handle all that? Dating a superstar ain't easy business, babygirl."

"Christina, oh my godddd. I'm grown. I think I know that shit." Amanda's pretty upset right now. This is one of the reasons why she never wanted to tell her family about their relationship. They'd get all uptight and try to find so many damn reasons to keep them apart. _'Because he isn't right. He's a superstar, he's older than you, he's got such an intense life, blahblahblah'_

She knows it. She knew what she was getting into in the beginning. And he hasn't done anything to prove her wrong. Or _their _statements right.

All that matters is that she's happy. With someone who actually cares about HER and her well-being. Not sex or any sexual shit like that.

"Well, I'm just worried that it'll get overwhelming for you. You're going off to college soon, and you have so much ahead of you. I dont want this relationship to mess things up for you. Like you know.. depending on him for happiness and all that-"

"This is why I didn't wanna tell you guys. You guys just wouldn't be understanding about it. I'm happy, isn't that all that matters? With someone who actually cares about me. And I thought you, out of all people, would understand because YOU KNOW how Carlos is. Now you're over here giving me all this bullshit about our relationship?"

"I'm not giving you any bullshit, i'm just tryna look out for you like a sister would."

"I get that, but jeez. You couldnt think of any more excuses or reasons to keep us apart?"

"What? Amanda, it's not even like that!"

"Then what? Why cant you straight up just tell me you're happy?" It was silent for a bit. "Right, cause you cant. You dont want us together. You really think it isnt right. Well, that's too damn bad cause that isn't a good enough reason to break us up." Christina sighs. She's happy for the girl, but she's kind of right. She just doesn't like the fact that she's in a relationship with Carlos. Just cause she's worried for her sister and she doesn't wanna feel overwhelmed with their relationship.

She doesn't want Amanda to go through what she did with Logan.

But then again, not all couples are the same. And Christina stops herself from thinking that way.

"Amanda-"

"Look, I gotta go. I'll just talk to you later. Let me know if you need anything." Before Christina can say anything to her little sister, she's out the door.

_Fuuck. _Christina can't help but hate herself even more for letting her little sister leave on these terms. She doesnt wanna argue with her. And she definitely doesn't want her sister to hate her.

She'll just stop being so damn overprotective and let the girl live her life. She definitely didn't like feeling suffocated before, so she doubts Amanda would like that feeling.

Christina just really cares about her sister and their relationship isn't just an ordinary relationship. Not a 'walk in the park' kind of relationship. More like 'paparazzi, tabloids, rumors, girls, tours, and so much more' kind of relationship. And if its anyone who should know how that's like, its Christina. First with Shad and their lowkey relationship. Then with Logan. And _it has not been easy._

_Okay, okay, just stop Christina. She'll be just fine._

* * *

><p>"Waaait.. So you mean to say you and Amanda are like.. together together?" Logan asked confused. What did he mean they were seeing each other? In this case, there could be so many defintions for that. Like.. going out to see her. Flirty, dating her kind of thing. Or actually in a relationship.<p>

"Yeah, we are." Carlos smiles a bit.

"Wow, uh, that's great Carlos." Kendall says, a bit shocked. He's not the only one though, everyone else is still trying to comprehend this. Logan's a bit weirded out cause when he sees Amanda, he sees a Christina's doppleganger. So it's like Carlos dating a little Christina. Eek. He still remembers when they kissed, soo.. yeah. Just, yeah. And Kendall sees a mini Christina too, so he's kind of like what the fuck? But an '_lol, what the fuck' _kind of thing. He can't really stand anything having to do with Christina right now so he'll just congratulate the guy. And James, James is just James. If he's happy then he's happy. Sure, Carlos could've picked up another girl fit for his age and personality. Him and Amanda are just .. so different in many ways. But opposites attract right? Fuck it, he's happy.

Carlos is confused. The enthusiasm is lacking. "Wh-what. What's wrong?"

"What? Nothing. It's just .. unexpected."

"Unexpected?" Carlos is confused. "That's it? That's all you could say?"

"No, man. It's cool you guys are dating. It's just a lot to take in." Logan says.

"Alot to take in? What the hell is that supposed to mean? It shouldn't even take this long to get approval from you guys. You dont like that we're going out." Carlos said, a bit hurt from his bestfriends. Like really? Why are they judging so quickly. _They know nothing about us._

"No, we didn't say that." James chimed in. He knows having Kendall or Logan talk right now wouldn't be the best. He can tell they aren't really in favor of the relationship. "What Kendall and Logan are trying to say is just that they didn't expect you to be with Amanda. It's not bad, we just didn't see it coming, that's all."

"Oookay, but are you guys even happy for me?"

"Yeeeah." James added. Woops. That didn't sound so sure, but he looked at Kendall and Logan for some backup. _Nothing. What the fuck is wrong with these two? _They just looked at Carlos.

"Woooow. Out of all people, my bestfriends can't even be happy. That I'm in a relationship with someone I really care about. We've done shady shit in our lives and we never judged each other for it. And when it comes down to something like this, you guys can't even give me your blessing?" They all looked at him sympathetically. Now they feel dumb, because its so true. They've all had their share of shady business, but they never judged each other for it. Esp. Carlos. Only if he needed to put them in their place, he would. But other than that, he was always there for them. "I wanted to share this with you guys cause you're my bestfriends. Like my brothers. And I reallly didnt expect this. Whatever dude, I'm out. I'm about to hang out with her in a bit." With that, he gets up and leaves to go up to his room.

"Way to go, guys." James says.

"Whaat?!" Logan and Kendall say at the same time.

"You couldnt even at least act like you were happy for the guy. And keep your feelings to yourself." James looked at him like they were dumb. _Really, though._

"Oh my god. My bad. I'll go talk to him later." Logan said with his hands up as he got up. "I'm just gonna give him some time." With that he walks up to his room. James looks at Kendall for his explanation.

"It's just weird, okay! But I'll get over it."

"You didnt have to rub it in his face like that." Kendall sighs.

"Right. I'll talk to him later, too. Er.. Whatever."

So now, both Carlos and Amanda were a bit bummed out that they got the reactions they did from their loved ones. Maybe it was just in the moment. After time, it'd be better. But still, it bums them out that they'd even act that way. So much for having support and shit. But whatever, they weren't gonna let anything stop them. They weren't doing anything bad at all. So why separate if they make each other? _They're just gonna have to accept it sooner or later._

* * *

><p>That night, Rodney is finally situated into his new room. Felicia is moving the rest of her things tomorrow. They will finally be living their own separate lives. Its kind of hard for both of them. They've gotten so used to coming home to each other and all that. Now its just, <em>who's gonna take care of Nico tomorrow? The day after? <em>And so on. The four are quietly in their rooms, doing their own thing. Its still a bit awkward between everyone. Just the babymama drama with Logan, Kendall's own drama with Christina, Rodney moving in, Carlos and Amanda.. all this shit. Just makes everyone tense in their own way. It's awkward.

And then there's Christina, still bumming it out in bed. She definitely got enough rest to be back at work tomorrow, so that's a good thing. She couldnt stand being home alone, sick. With all this shit going on. You know whats funny? She remembers the very first time they all reunited. They were all so happy. One big happy family. It wasnt even that long ago. Now, everything just seems so fuckin' chaotic. Everybody has a problem with somebody within the group. _Damn. _She wishes everything would just go back to the way it used to be.

It just feels like she really has nothing solid left in her life.

_**Ring, ring, ring.**_

It's Will.

"Hello?"

"Hey Christina! You feelin' better?"

"Yeah, much better. How was work today?"

"Oh, that's good. It was alright. The same old. Would you be back tomorrow?"

"Planning on it."

"Cool. I called cause I overheard Dr. Davis talking about you." Christina raises her eyebrow. Even though Will can't see her facial expression right now.

"What? Why."

"I dont really know why. I just heard him saying he was going to talk to you when you came back."

"Was he mad?"

"No. He was actually smiling a bit. He looked kind of excited. Sorry if I ruin any surprises for tomorrow." He chuckles a bit.

"No its okay." Well, she's relieved. But what could it possibly be? "I wonder what it is."

"Yeah, well. Guess we'll find out tomorrow right?" Christina hears him unlocking his car. "Look, I'll talk to you in a bit. Just wanted to let you know what was up. Get more rest!"

"Thanks, Will." _**Click.**_

Well, now she kind of can't wait to get to work knowing she has some good news waiting for her. But from Dr. Davis? What could that possibly even be. It's so random.

She'll wait though. Whatever it is, she knows Dr. Davis only wants the best for her.

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><p><strong>Reviews are much appreciated!<strong>


	30. Chapter 30

**Hey guys! So this is a really long ass chapter, but it's the last chapter of So Beautiful. ): NO FEAR! I'll be back with the next part soon. And I'll definitely have it up before I go back to school on the 17th. So stay tuned. I'll either let you guys know when its up on here or on It Girl / Complicated. Just keep an eye out, esp. if you want more Logan and Christina! THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS AND EVERYTHING!**

**Song: Worlwide - BTR.**

**Happy Reading.**

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><p><em><strong>- Christina's POV -<strong>_

I'm feelin' so much better. But I feel like I rarely got to sleep last night. One, I had gotten a lot of sleep during the day. Two, I was too anxious. Since the day is finally here, I'm feeling re-energized. And excited to hear what Dr. Davis has to tell me. I shower, dry my hair and put it up in a bun. I throw on my scrubs and dab Peach Kiss BabyLips chapstick on my lips to get them moisturized. As soon as I'm ready, I pet Mochi and I'm out the door. I stop by Jamba Juice for some of their yummy parfaits before heading to work. For some reason, Im feelin' hungrier than usual this morning. But then again, I dont remember eating as much last night. As soon as I find a parking spot, I pull up at eat as much of my parfait as I can. I'm still eating the rest as I walk into the building and up to my floor. _Really lookin' like a fatass right now, _but I doubt I can keep up for awhile without anything in my system this morning.

As soon as I'm done, I wash my hands in the break room and head out to start making my rounds. When I'm reaching my second to last patient, Dr. Davis finally catches me and pulls me aside to a somewhat dead part of the floor.

"Alright, so this isn't anything bad. I actually think it's great. And you know, I'm always trying to do what's best for you." Dr. Davis says as he looks down at me and smiles.

"Wellll, whatsup?" I shove my hands in my pockets.

"So, a couple of days ago, one of my colleagues at Morgan Stanley Children's Hospital in New York, NY was telling me that the pediatrics floor is a bit understaffed with lead nurses and that it's so hard to find people with the right fit to work in such a busy and fast-paced environment. And I told him, you know, I have a nurse here whom I trust and believe that could be a perfect fit at the hospital." My eyes glow. _Working in New York?_

"Me?"

"Yes." Dr. Davis chuckles a bit. "So, uh, his name is Dr. Presley. He's a really great doctor. Also a great role model and friend of mine. He really is just, amazing. And I think you'll have the time of your life doing what you love over there and being under his care." He smiles. _No fucking way._

"R-really? W-wow. This is great. I can't believe it.." I start stuttering. I'm literally speechless. This could be one of the biggest opportunities ever. And it's sitting right here, waiting for me to take it.

"He was really excited and is just dying to meet you after everything I told him about you, Christina. He sent me this." He digs into his lab coat and pulls out what looks like a few brochures. "Its a few brochures on the hospital and a ticket." My eyes widen as Dr. Davis' smile gets bigger. "I know it's sudden, but they really need someone with your personality and talent over there, Christina. This is a plane ticket for New York. If you decide to take the job, you can pack everything up and get on the plane tomorrow afternoon. Dr. Presley is even willing to give you a place to stay." He holds up an envelope that has a brochure from a place called Broadway Apartments and a key. "He'll help pay rent until you're back on your feet and used to the new environment."

"Oh my god. I really dont know what to say, Dr. Davis. This is amazing." I take everything from his hands and admire it within my own hands. _Is this really fucking happening?! Somebody pinch me._

"You know. This is a really great opportunity, Christina. And I wouldn't have recommended you if I didn't think you could do it. It'll be a great experience for you and I think this will only benefit you. Plus, you can live a little and explore another city besides Los Angeles. New York is definitely an ideal place, too. You should really think about it and let me know as soon as you do."

"You're right. I'll definitely think about it. Thank you so much Dr. Davis. Really. This is amazing." He puts his hand on my shoulder.

"Of course." He smiles once more before leaving.

I can't even work with all this excitement. A lifetime opportunity, right in my hands. Just imagine, working in one of New York's top hospitals under one of the greatest doctors? It's just too fucking crazy. Plus, a nice ass apartment right by the hospital. I foreel will have everything right there.

Moving to New York would mean a new environment. New place, new life.

And frankly, I feel like that would be best for my needs right now.

I'm so over Los Angeles at the moment. With all the damn drama and everything else LA carries, I can't even handle it anymore. But I guess working hard surely does pay off. I don't even feel like I deserve this, cause I DEFINITELY haven't been working here as long as most of the nurses I work with. But then again, I love doing what I do. And if it isnt the guys or my family, Dr. Davis definitely sees that. Most nurses I work with are here for the money. The hours. The experience. I'm here for the kids. To do what I spent four hard years doing. To express my talent. And love as a nurse. It's always been my dream to be where I am now.

Definitely not giving anything else up.

Speaking of LA, I think of my family. Leaving them behind. But then again, they'd be ecstatic for me. Cause I'd finally be doing big things on my own. So it wouldn't be as hard to leave them. Family will always have my back, regardless. And they're the only ones I know who would NEVER leave me.

Then I think of Logan. Kendall. Carlos. James. Rodney. The guys. Esp. the four. We first met here in LA. Reunited in LA. Fell in love in LA. And just thinking about them already makes the decision harder. _I think of Logan and all the times we had. And immediately, I want to cry just thinking about leaving him and all that behind. _Then I think of Kendall and our times too. Soon, they'll just become memories. And that's hard.

But, since we all rarely even talk now. With all this drama buzzing. Im in dire need of a change. A new door. A new chapter. _A new life. _

I know it'll be hard.

I need to think about _me, _now. Not me and Logan. Not me and Kendall. Not me and anyone else that I've been dealing with. _Me, myself and I. _

_I need to move on._

And it's time I start making myself happy. Being independent with nothing to stop me. It's time I start doing _me._

Throughout my whole shift, I was too excited to let my family know. It was unbelievable that an opportunity like this could come my way. I got into my car and checked my phone. _No texts. _

_Damn, the times I feel so damn alone. _

That's when I kind of knew shit was over for good. Just proving my point right - I need to do me.

I put the car in reverse and headed over to Mama's house. I told her to have Papa over so I could tell the family as _one. _Not making multiple trips for the same news. She was kind of confused as to why she needed to have Papa over. She was kind of concerned too. But they can wait like 10 more minutes.

I came to conclusion that I wasn't gonna tell the guys. Seems shady, but I _knew _I wouldn't get the responses I'd want. Not '_omg, congrats Stina! You should take this opportunity_!' but more like '_you cant just leave us and everything we've been through behind_.' They, esp. Kendall and Logan, would try and find every reason to keep me here. To keep doing what I love with my loved ones in the same place.

It would only be so much harder.

And I really can't have anyone in the way anymore. Majority of my life, _I never had a choice. _And this time, I'm giving myself that freedom to choose.

_Like I said, I choose me._

I parked the car in the driveway and headed inside the house. I could hear Papa and Amanda joking around in the kitchen, while Mama and Felicia were probably fixing up dinner.

"Hey guys." I set my purse down and helped set up the last few things for dinner at the table. As soon as everything was good, we all sat down and started eating.

"Wow, It's been awhile since we've all sat together." Papa said, laughing. Mama rolled her eyes and continued eating, making us chuckle a bit. "So mija, what do you have to tell us?"

"Oh." I forked my food a bit and smiled. "I got this job offer as a lead nurse in one of New York's top hospitals.." I smiled at everyone. Their eyes widened, but it wasn't in a bad way. They were just surprised. Until Mama had a huge smile on her face.

"Baby, that's great!"

"That is amazing, sweetheart." Papa chimes in.

"Soo! Are you gonna take it?!" Felicia asks, excited.

"Duuude, imagine living in New York, though? That'd be bomb as hell." Amanda added. I freakin' love the excitement my family's giving me. And it only makes it so much more exciting to take a job like this.

"Well, yeah. I want to take the job." I smiled. This time from ear to ear. _I'm so damn excited to be starting a new life. _"I thought it'd be a really great opportunity. I could start a new life in a new place. Get more experience doing what I love to do. It just all seems so right. Plus! The doctor is helping me pay for my apartment until I get back on my feet. Literally, everything is all set. In this envelope." I rose the envelope.

"Well, that's great honey. Really." Papa said. "When would you be leaving?"

"Uhmm, tomorrow afternoon."

"Woah, that's quick." Mama chuckled a bit. "Well, just as long as you don't forget us. And at least skype if you can't visit." I laughed.

"Alright, Ma."

"What about your apartment now? When is your lease up?"

"Not for awhile." I shrugged.

"I can pay that off until the lease is done. Plus, you'll still have it just in case you want to come back." Papa winked. He would be the one saying some shit like that.

"Daad." Felicia said. Papa chuckled a bit.

"What?! You know, it's never easy getting settled into a new place. Esp. a big city like New York. It's totally different from LA." Mama nodded. I'm actually kind of glad they could be civil for at least one last dinner before I leave.

"That's right." Then Mama turned to me. "Not saying you'd want to come back, because that's an amazing city, really. But, it may not be for everyone. Speaking realistically." Everyone at the table nodded. She's right. It's a totally new environment. Giving it a few months will help me realize if I could work with it or not.

_But right now, I'm too excited to explore this place. I have no doubts._

"Yeah. I'm really excited though." I smiled, making Amanda and Felicia smile back.

"We are excited for you too, Christina. We support you 100%." Mama said, ever so cutely. Damn. This went easier than expected. I was expecting to get bombarded with so much more questions.

"Wait, so.." Amanda says. "Are you gonna tell Logan and them?" I looked down. But I can feel everyone looking at me waiting for an answer.

"No.." I say quietly.

"What, why?" Amanda says shocked.

"Look, it'll just make everything so much harder if I do. And honestly, I just want to focus on me. Without anything getting in the way this time." Amanda and Felicia nodd.

"I understand."

"So, please? Don't tell them anything for awhile. I need to get myself over there before anything else. Or else, I'd never want to leave if I had to face Logan." There's a hush that takes over the dinner table. I guess everyone understands how difficult the topic of Logan is for me. If only they knew about Kendall too, that's _twice _the fucking heart-ache. Papa clears his throat.

"Okay, mija. Well, I will take care of your apartment expenses. And I'll keep your car until you decide you want me to ship it. We'll take you to the airport tomorrow. What time is your flight?"

"Thanks Papa. It's at 5:45."

"Okay, then everything is set." I smiled at him and we all continued to eat our dinner in peace. _Thank god I could have dinner with my family in one piece before I leave._

_**- No POV -**_

Meanwhile, the guys are situated at the house. And are taking life as is. They're all just chillin' in the living room, eating pizza and taking turns playing video games. Like always. If it aint watching tv, its the games. They're just trying to keep in the peace in the house.

But I mean, frankly, Carlos is already over the whole thing with the guys. He understands its a bit unexpected, so he'll just let it go. Knowing his boys, they'll be used to in sooner or later. So now he's just happy as fuck. He can finally just be with Amanda, without having to lie about each other. He feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of his shoulder. And all he could think about now is his girl.

Logan has no clue anything new would be happening to Christina. He hasn't talked to her since their awkward moment at the party and so he thinks she's just living her life like he is. He does miss her. And as shady as it sounds, sometimes he pictures Christina's face instead of Samantha's. But he'll tell himself to calm down and face reality. He's with her now and they're about to have a family. _Still doesn't mean Christina isn't in the back of his head. _He's just slowly learning how to focus on what's in the present, rather than the past.

Kendall thinks about Christina every now and then. He hasn't been as upset as before. But he still wishes she would have given them a chance. It just breaks his heart how she lets everything go like that. He's living his life and she's living her life. In his case, time is the only healer. Sooner or later, he'd like to be friends with her again. Maybe try working things out when she isn't dealing with other shit. But right now, he calls it _me time. _And when he's ready, he'll let her know.

Little did they know that she would be gone.

_Just like that._

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><p><em><strong>Wait a minute before you tell me anything, how was your day?<strong>_

_**Cause I've been missing**_

_**You by my side, yeah**_

_**Did I awake you out of your dreams?**_

_**I'm sorry but I couldn't sleep**_

_**You calm me down**_

_**There's something 'bout the sound of your voice**_

Christina literally spent almost all night packing and throwing things away. Her apartment looks so damn empty, besides the fact that it still has all the furniture in it. Papa said he'll take care of everything as time goes on, so just as long as she has everything she needs, she's a-okay.

"Okay, are you ready honey?" Papa said coming into the apartment. Christina nodded and took one last look at her apartment. _This was all too quick. _

"Yup. I'm ready."

"Oookay, lets go." Papa grabs her suitecases and heads out the door. Christina is holding Mochi in one arm as she takes one last look at everything. Remembering the memories, the fights, the love-making. _Everything _that happened in this apartment. She smiles to herself and leaves.

_**I-I-I-I'm never never**_

_**Never as far away as it may seem, oh**_

_**Soon we'll be together**_

_**We'll pick up right where we left off**_

The car ride to the airport is silent. She's sitting in the front seat, while Mama, Felicia and Amanda are in the back. Christina's looking outside the window, admiring everything about Los Angeles. Wondering when she'll ever step foot here again. It'll be awhile before she does. She's already starting to miss it, but life is waiting for her to start a new chapter. It really is too quick. She feels like life is quickly passing her by. She's already moving to New York? Like, w_hat the hell?! _Who would've thought.

As they arrive to LAX, she feels a bit sad. She feels the sadness from everyone. She's parting from her family for awhile. And she'll definitely miss them. Papa finds Delta Airlines, and parks the car, pressing the hazard button. Everybody hops out to help her get her stuff and start saying their goodbyes.

"Sis.." Felicia's first. They look at each other and the tears start falling. "Goodluck and becareful, okay? We'll always be here for you, don't forget that." She pulls Christina into a hug. "I'll miss you." They pull away and Christina looks at her little sister, who is tearing up as well.

"I'm really going to miss you, Stina. Come back when you can.." Christina starts crying a bit harder as she hugs her babysister.

"Becareful, okay Manda? Make sure Carlos takes care of you." Amanda nodds while they hug. "And take care of Logan for me, please..." She whispers in her ear.

After that, she hugs Mama and Papa and the tears become waterfalls. Her heart is aching from all this. She's sad she has to be away from them for awhile. But she's finally getting on her own feet.

She gets it together as she enters the airport to check in and check her luggages in. The airport is busy, numerous people making their way here and there. It's a bit chaotic. Kind of reminds her of how New York would be. She smiles to the security guard as he lets her pass to go through security check. Once she's finally out of that line, she makes her way toward the gate. Christina finds her gate and sees plenty of people waiting at the same gate. Luckily, she finds a seat and situates herself. They have a bit of time before boarding.

_**Paris, London, Tokyo**_

_**There's just one thing that I gotta do**_

_**(Hello, tuck you in every night on the phone)**_

_**(Hello, tuck you in every night)**_

_**And I can hardly take another goodbye**_

_**Baby, won't be long**_

_**You're the one that I'm waiting on**_

_**(Hello, tuck you in every night on the phone, woah)**_

_**Girl I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, worldwide**_

_**Girl I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, worldwide**_

_**(Girl I'll be thinking about you)**_

When Amanda gets settled, she takes her car and drives off to be with Carlos. She's beyond sad that Christina's leaving and she really just needs to be comforted. She's thankful she still has Felicia, but she doesnt feel complete anymore. It's also been really hard to lie to the guys about Christina's whereabouts and what the Vega family has been up to these past hours. Sooner or later, she might slip.

"Hey hun." Carlos greets her at the door. Amanda smiles a bit and walks in. Carlos can sense something's wrong. But he just follows behind her.

"Suuup little one?!" Logan says from the loveseat. James and Kendall turn their attention to Amanda. She smiles a bit.

"Hey." She can't be here right now, what the fuck was she thinking? She sits on the barstool, facing the tv and Carlos sits next to her on the other barstool. He puts an arm around her shoulder and a hand on her chin to make her face him.

"Heyyy, whats wrong?" She looks at him. Then back at Logan. _Just looking at him breaks her fucking heart. He doesnt even know.. _And Christina's words replay in her head: _**Take care of Logan for me, please..**_

"Uhm, nothing.."

"Really though.." Then she finds herself crying. And she doesn't even realize it's coming down that fast. So she tries to wipe it as fast as she could, but Carlos is already staring at her, worried. "Woah, babe.. Why are you crying?" This makes all three of the guys turn their attention on her.

"Sooo.. am I beating someone's ass orrr..." Logan says awkwardly.

"No." Amanda says as she's crying. "Christina's gone." At that moment, Logan and Kendall can't believe their ears. Logan drops his phone. But he doesn't even care. Both of their hearts have dropped.

_**Yes, I may meet a million pretty girls that know my name**_

_**But don't you worry**_

_**Cause you have my heart**_

_**It ain't easy to keep on moving city to city**_

_**Just get up and go**_

_**The show must go on so I need you to be strong**_

"What?" They all ask in unison.

"What do you mean she's g-gone.." Logan asks.

"She's moving to New York. For good."

"What?! Why?! When?" Carlos asks, upset that Christina didn't even let them know. Trust me, they're all upset in their own way.

"She's gone. She took a job as a lead nurse over there. She's gone dude. I fucking miss her already and I'm not even sure she's even on the plane yet."

"No no no, this cant be fucking real Amanda." She looks at Logan and how hurt he is. He's standing up, his fists balled up. "NO! Why didnt she tell me?!" He's tearing up.

"Loges, you have to understand that this wasn't easy for her-"

"NO! I cant fucking believe her.. I cant do this right now." He leaves to go up to his room. Sooner or later, they hear a bang from his door being slammed.

_**I-I-I-I'm never never**_

_**Never as far away as it may seem, oh**_

_**Soon we'll be together**_

_**We'll pick up right where we left off**_

"It's okay. It's not your fault. He's just upset." Carlos whispers and hugs her.

"I gotta go." Kendall says quietly and goes up to his room as well.

"Why wouldn't she tell us though?" Carlos asks. James is now standing in front of the two, providing extra comfort.

"She said it would be too hard for her to face you guys, esp. Logan. I miss her.." Amanda keeps crying. James and Carlos kind of understand where Christina's coming from. She wants to start a new life without anything stopping her. And they respect that. They kind of just wished she let them know. At least to show that she thought about them. And still cares about them.. _It hurts them all how she just left like that and they had to find out this way._

Logan is bawling his eyes out in his room. She's fucking gone for good. His fucking babygirl was leaving for good. No goodbyes or anything. He tries calling her phone, but its off. He tries texting her, no reply. Just ANYTHING to let him see her once more. Touch her, kiss her, anything for one more time. He can't believe this is happening all so quickly. Now he feels horrible for letting her leave while they were on bad terms. _If only he could rewind time, dude. _He's hurting. And he really doesnt know how he'll cope because the next time he talks to her, she'll already be in New York. And it'll be too damn late for anything.

_**Paris, London, Tokyo**_

_**There's just one thing that I gotta do**_

_**(Hello, tuck you in every night on the phone)**_

_**(Hello, tuck you in every night)**_

_**And I can hardly take another goodbye**_

_**Baby, won't be long**_

_**You're the one that I'm waiting on**_

_**(Hello, tuck you in every night on the phone, woah)**_

_**Girl I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, worldwide**_

_**Girl I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, worldwide**_

_**(Girl I'll be thinking about you)**_

Kendall is lying on his bed. Thinking of the same exact things and feeling the same exact way as Logan. But he's really at a loss for words. He, too, tries calling her. texting her. anything. But he knows its too late. _Just, why.. _Now he wishes he worked things out with her. He wonders how Logan is doing. But he tells himself that he feels the exact same way.. He just has no choice but to accept what's happened.

Christina is finally on the plane, waiting for take off. She's situated and she has her blanket over her. She's absolutely tired and she's most likely going to fall asleep the whole way over there. Which is good. It'll stop her from thinking. The flight attendant is now going over safety and rules for the flight. Meaning, they'll be taking off soon. She looks out the window for once last glimpse at Los Angeles.

_**Oh**_

_**Wherever the wind blows me**_

_**Yes you're still the one and only girl on my mind**_

_**No, there ain't no one better**_

_**(Worldwide)**_

_**So always remember**_

_**(Worldwide)**_

_**Always remember, girl you're mine**_

She remembers the time she fell in love with Logan. And how he would sing Worldwide or any other cute song to her to help her sleep. How they had so many jokes together. Too much laughter together. How he would facetime her until she fell asleep. How he would take her on so many random, yet surprising dates and spoil her. Everything. Then she remembers the time he was there for her every step of the way after she woke up from her coma. How he took her out on dates before he went on tour even though he would be tired as hell. She remembers the first time he took her to the Observatory and had her look at a beautiful view of Los Angeles.

_**"I just want you to know that no matter what, you'll always be my girl. Regardless of time, distance, whatever. I love you, Christina. I love you, so much." Christina began to tear up as Logan whispered those last words to her, stroking her cheek.**_

"Have a great flight, and we hope you fly with us again." The pilot says. The plane starts moving and she lays her head against the window.

Goodbye Los Angeles, hello New York.

_**Paris, London, Tokyo**_

_**There's just one thing that I gotta do**_

_**(Hello, tuck you in every night on the phone)**_

_**(Hello, tuck you in every night)**_

_**And I can hardly take another goodbye**_

_**Baby, won't be long**_

_**You're the one that I'm waiting on**_

_**(Hello, tuck you in every night on the phone, woah)**_

_**Girl I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, worldwide**_

_**Girl I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, worldwide**_

_**(Girl I'll be thinking about you)**_

_**Yes, I may meet a million pretty girls that know my name**_

_**But don't you worry**_

_**Cause you have my heart**_

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><p><strong>Reviews are much appreciated!<strong>

**Stay tuned for more Logan and Christina.**


	31. THIS IS US, NOW UP!

**I can't wait anymore. I can't put the hold off any longer for you wonderful readers.**

**"THIS IS US" - *CONTINUATION to So Beautiful is NOW UP!**

**Loook for the story on my profile to make life easier. :) YAY, what a good start to 2013.**


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